xpaperxcutx Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Just when I thought I could put all this to rest and behind me, I finally got my answer, I'm a booty call. SG, you're more than right, you predicted every little intentions of artist guy that I wonder why you're not psychic to begin with. Yes, a 12 am text message doesn't mean anything or have anything to do with sincerity or truffles so much as he just needs a fix of having someone over at his place who he can say " wham, bam, thank you ma'am". And if I play hard to get, he insists on me sending him a picture. I'm actually disgusted, more so because I saw this coming a mile away, and with you guys telling me it's not going to work out etc. God, I just pushed him off my pedestal. I have another date tomorrow with a guy named V. I'm actually quite content with the answer I have right now.
Star Gazer Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I didn't want to be right. Really, I didn't. I just have been in your shoes far more times than I like to admit to myself. I can see the pattern developing from a mile away now, particularly in girls who have somewhat of a similar background father- and insecurity-wise. What used to take me months to see, then after enough guys took me weeks, and then days, and now it's immediate. Asked you for a picture, eh? A naughty one, I'm assuming? Yeah, he's predictable. (Honestly, most guys are.) You'll find a good guy who you really are comfortable with who also rocks your world someday. I promise. Just please... please... do NOT hook up with a guy until you've established something real. No sexual innuendo. No sexual gestures, or glances. Be the girl any guy would be proud to take home to mom. I'm gonna go find a blog of a friend who lives in NYC and see if I can't forward it to you... it's spot on about this exact situation.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 I didn't want to be right. Really, I didn't. I just have been in your shoes far more times than I like to admit to myself. I can see the pattern developing from a mile away now, particularly in girls who have somewhat of a similar background father- and insecurity-wise. What used to take me months to see, then after enough guys took me weeks, and then days, and now it's immediate. Asked you for a picture, eh? A naughty one, I'm assuming? Yeah, he's predictable. (Honestly, most guys are.) You'll find a good guy who you really are comfortable with who also rocks your world someday. I promise. Just please... please... do NOT hook up with a guy until you've established something real. No sexual innuendo. No sexual gestures, or glances. Be the girl any guy would be proud to take home to mom. I'm gonna go find a blog of a friend who lives in NYC and see if I can't forward it to you... it's spot on about this exact situation. Thanks SG, all this time I knew you were being supportive in your own way, but I was too obstinate in my stance to see other's point of views. I'm actually glad I had this happen when it did, because I finally have my eyes cleared away of the fog and really see things for what they are. No I'm in no shape way or form to actually want something like an FWB or an NSA. The date I'll be going to tonight will be more formal and I will make sure that he leaves me at the station rather me ending up waking up in his bed. I have already deleted artist guy's number, so I won't be contacting him. I suppose we can friends. I feel absolutely nothing right now, just a little chilled from the weather but overall, very energized. I think I'm going to do a little aerobics.
fishtaco Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I'm sorry this happened. But I hope you had fun. It's pretty common for people to meet and then end up wanting different things, or even just change their minds half way. So just enjoy whatever it is, and when things look like they won't work out, shrug and take them off of your list.
Star Gazer Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks SG, all this time I knew you were being supportive in your own way, but I was too obstinate in my stance to see other's point of views. Been there, done that. It's understandable. You wanted it to work out the way you wanted, and why wouldn't you? [ QUOTE]I'm actually glad I had this happen when it did, because I finally have my eyes cleared away of the fog and really see things for what they are. I'm glad you've learned from this. You can take this experience with you. No I'm in no shape way or form to actually want something like an FWB or an NSA. I never thought you were. That's why I knew some of your behavior wasn't 'right,' because it didn't fit. The date I'll be going to tonight will be more formal and I will make sure that he leaves me at the station rather me ending up waking up in his bed.. Tonight? Isn't it after midnight there already?? Just keep telling yourself that you don't have to make anyone like you. You're already likeable!!
Cora Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I'm really sorry things turned out the way they did with this guy. I have been following your story and was so hoping things would work out the way you wanted them to. At least you know now and don't have to worry about investing anymore time with him. I haven't replied to your posts because I'm really not good at giving advice and I kind of was going through a similar situation. I did all the sexual things with the guy I met that you mentioned you did with artist guy plus I slept with him the first meeting. Only difference is the guy I met has now totally bailed on me so I guess I know now what he was after. I wish I could of avoided that mistake but I definitely learned from it. Someday you will find what you are looking for. Good luck with your date!
IrishCarBomb Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I have another date tomorrow with a guy named V. Cool! Does he "remember, remember the 5th of November"? Joking aside, sorry things didn't turn out better.
paddington bear Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Oh no! What a shame, I was hoping for your sake that this was one of those rare exceptions, but obviously not. This is why I wanted some kind of update to see if the majority of the advice you got on your last thread was right about this guy. I guess you live and learn - at least you have another date so can immediately practice being more than a FWB. Hope it goes well. Padd Bear is a bit jealous to be honest, another date so soon! When these things happen to me, I never manage to find someone else to wipe the bad taste of the last one away so end up feeling rather hard done by for months. Hope it goes well for you with mr. V (V for Victory I hope )
Ruby Slippers Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I have already deleted artist guy's number, so I won't be contacting him. I suppose we can friends. I feel absolutely nothing right now, just a little chilled from the weather but overall, very energized. I think I'm going to do a little aerobics. I predict he will be in touch soon. You not being available will intrigue him. I'm only saying this so you will consider the idea and prepare yourself. What will you do if that happens? I would suggest you define VERY CLEAR BOUNDARIES for yourself right now, before the heat of the moment. Just a suggestion.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 I predict he will be in touch soon. You not being available will intrigue him. I'm only saying this so you will consider the idea and prepare yourself. What will you do if that happens? I would suggest you define VERY CLEAR BOUNDARIES for yourself right now, before the heat of the moment. Just a suggestion. Ruby, well it seems since he's no longer a potential candidate for a relationship I can only assume I wouldn't be too eager to meet him should he ask me out. I wouldn't put myself in a position to head back to his place anytime soon. Can I say the next time he even contacts me, I suggest coffee over dinner?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 Oh no! What a shame, I was hoping for your sake that this was one of those rare exceptions, but obviously not. This is why I wanted some kind of update to see if the majority of the advice you got on your last thread was right about this guy. I guess you live and learn - at least you have another date so can immediately practice being more than a FWB. Hope it goes well. Padd Bear is a bit jealous to be honest, another date so soon! When these things happen to me, I never manage to find someone else to wipe the bad taste of the last one away so end up feeling rather hard done by for months. Hope it goes well for you with mr. V (V for Victory I hope ) Paddings, that was me a year ago. I remember when I broke up with my ex, I settled myself in the comfort of my bed and ended up binging on ice cream. I hated myself that time. I try to preoccupy my time as much as I can so I don't let things like this affect me. And really, I'm honestly not hurt that I'm a booty call, just a bit disgusted that artist guy showed his true colors. I can't wait for my date tonight tho. I need to go out.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 I'm really sorry things turned out the way they did with this guy. I have been following your story and was so hoping things would work out the way you wanted them to. At least you know now and don't have to worry about investing anymore time with him. I haven't replied to your posts because I'm really not good at giving advice and I kind of was going through a similar situation. I did all the sexual things with the guy I met that you mentioned you did with artist guy plus I slept with him the first meeting. Only difference is the guy I met has now totally bailed on me so I guess I know now what he was after. I wish I could of avoided that mistake but I definitely learned from it. Someday you will find what you are looking for. Good luck with your date! Thank you Cora. I had followed your thread as well, and it's safe to say that it's a good experience to at least have gone through something like this, because it makes me more alert the next time we put ourselves in such situations.
Trialbyfire Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 xpapercutx, it sucks that he's not what you wanted but from what you've posted on LS, he was pretty upfront with this actions, albeit not as much with direct words like "I'm looking for an FWB". The good part is that you found this out sooner, rather than later. For future, you might want to keep the physicality down a bit until you've had the chance to get to know the guy better. This way, you can keep a more clear mind, to gauge the combination of words and actions.
tinklebell Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I'm glad you recognized it and are moving away from it (I hope you are) instead of banging down his door for him to get serious or continuing to see him in the hope that things would change into something more serious.
sid3 Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Ouch. The harsh reality is this guy knew when you were licking his balls that he didn't want a relationship with you. He believes he can do better, otherwise he'd be pursuing you. It's a sad fact that both men and women can be morally bankrupt. BJs on the second date are probably the quickest way to get a man to lose pretty much all respect for you. Better to find out sooner than later, and in the long run this probably will turn out to have been a good experience for you.
Isolde Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Don't take this the wrong way, but the way you write reflects a certain sweetness and innocence and you'd be better matched with someone who appreciates those things by treating you a bit more chivalrously. You know the cliche "you deserve better?" It's true
Isolde Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Padd Bear is a bit jealous to be honest, another date so soon! When these things happen to me, I never manage to find someone else to wipe the bad taste of the last one away so end up feeling rather hard done by for months. (V for Victory I hope ) Yep, same here, it's great that you can keep dating.
BCCA Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I dont think anyone likes being right about these kind of things. At least you found out, though. Im sorry to hear about what happened, but good luck with your date!
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