stillafool Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 IMO, the more educated and intelligent one is, the more propensity for one's mind to be "running" all the time. For me, bringing the mind to idle and engaging the emotions and libido are essential for proper romantic and sexual interest. I don't know if it's that way for women as well, but have noted women I know with higher education and IQ to have the same issues. They're "preoccupied". Compatibility stems from knowing how to bring each other to idle to engage the emotional dynamic. For me, this is where non-sexual physical affection plays a key role, as it "gets my my mind off" the next great idea. Being with someone who initiates and/or values that is key to my feeling romantic. Again, women may be different in that regard, but it is understanding what makes us tick and finding and valuing that in a partner which is key for a healthy LTR. You are so smart Carhill! This is it exactly for me and I never thought of this before!
stillafool Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Never say never. I have a masters degree and come from a family where education is very important. Never in a million years would I have considered getting involved with someone who did not have at least a bachelors from a respectable college or university. Enter one of my exes - a mason who dropped out of high school at age 16. Him and I got along better than I have with any of my other boyfriends. But he was very insecure about the difference in our backgrounds. He is a hard worker, owns his own house, has good family values and treated me well. We also never once, not for a moment, ran out of conversation. Of all the guys I've been involved with, he is the only one I saw a future of marriage and family with. I felt loved, secure, stimulated and happy. To this day I regret not being able to show him how much he meant to me. And I feel it is such a shame that he was so insecure about our differences. It's been over 7 years since we broke up but we are still good friends and still enjoy one another. Maybe one day it'll work out but for now I have the lesson of never saying never. This is soooo sweet it made me tear up. I hope you two get together again one day!
BobSacamento Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 I'm more interested in wisdom and support than education. My father graduated law school, he's part of MENSA and is a lawyer. My mother is a HS grad and is a secretary. Who does my father go to for advice and support? My mother. Education might be important in getting a high paying job but in terms of love and relationships I see little importance in knowing what sort of degree a person has.
carhill Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 Some people see financial prospects (often a component of high education and intelligence) as a component of a relationship potential. It certainly was such for my wife. Guess I didn't quite make it to a high enough paying job
Isolde Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 IMO, the more educated and intelligent one is, the more propensity for one's mind to be "running" all the time. For me, bringing the mind to idle and engaging the emotions and libido are essential for proper romantic and sexual interest. I don't know if it's that way for women as well, but have noted women I know with higher education and IQ to have the same issues. They're "preoccupied". Compatibility stems from knowing how to bring each other to idle to engage the emotional dynamic. For me, this is where non-sexual physical affection plays a key role, as it "gets my my mind off" the next great idea. Being with someone who initiates and/or values that is key to my feeling romantic. Again, women may be different in that regard, but it is understanding what makes us tick and finding and valuing that in a partner which is key for a healthy LTR. But that's one extreme and the other is being so mentally unfulfilled in a relationship that it becomes less sexy. I guess as with everything else a happy medium is important in a romantic relationship, and that can be achieved by people with various educational levels. Right?
carhill Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 As I believe someone mentioned upthread about the disparate educational/objective intelligence levels of the parents and how the more "intelligent" one relied upon the other for practical advice and opinion, IMO, it's more about compatibility; how the levels of education and intelligence, both intellectual and emotional, mesh. My father and mother were of vastly disparate educational and intelligence levels but they complimented each other perfectly. She learned from him and he learned from her as they each had their respective strengths. They each respected the other and trusted the other to be there as part of the team. Don't know if that helps but it was on my mind. Perhaps a cruel irony is the man in my story died with his mind still functioning at its highest level but trapped in a dying body and the woman lies in an essentially functioning body with her mind ripped from her by dementia. Life is ironic like that.
burningashes Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 It depends, but I can definitely relate to not being able to connect with people who hasn't had college experience. I've noticed that friends who graduated with me from high school who didn't go to college, we don't connect as much as we used to. People who went to college after high school, I'm much more closer to them and still hang out with them. I don't know if this is because of the link between education and relationships. I wouldn't want a couch potato who works at macdonald's for a living, because I want to have children and settle down in a house at some point. If someone didn't have a degree but somehow had the income to at least support a family and a mortgage, I'm all for that if we are compatible. Either way, if he stimulates me mentally and emotionally, degree or no degree, that works for me as well. My only concern would be is the income issue, because I do want to do things like travel etc and I want someone who's able to do that with me. A degree doesn't prove your intelligence, because there are stupid people with degrees :/
loveslife Posted May 16, 2009 Posted May 16, 2009 This is soooo sweet it made me tear up. I hope you two get together again one day! Thanks Stillafool. That's a nice thought and you sound very sweet. Ya never know.
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