alwaysabeliever Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Hi, new to this site and was on here looking at the advice given. Basically I was in a 10 year relationship, been single for 3 years and met someone who was amazing. We dated for a couple of months and he was saying stuff like im the one etc etc then suddenly went quiet and said he wanted to split, he said he wasnt sure what he wanted. We live quite close and everyone knows everyone so unavoidable to see him, he said he really wanted to be friends and kept texting constantly. I asked for a few days break from the texts and after he said he wanted to try again. We went out with a group that evening and we were all really drunk and having a good time, the next day he was back to being all quiet so i left him to it and called 2 days later to say if he still wanted to give it a go did he want to meet for a drink - he said he just wanted an easy life and couldnt be bothered? Its been a week since and i havent spoken to him or had any messages from him? Where to go from here.... It would be really good for some insight - I know i havent included many details but honestly this is a bit of a shock! After a long relationship my view is always fight not flight? Maybe he is just scared of commitment, confused or its true he cant be bothered with me? Its just i dont really know where to move forward, have resigned myself to no contact at all for at least 6 weeks to get my head straight - seems impossible task!!
BCCA Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 A general rule of thumb that I have is that people who tell you that they dont know what they want, know that whatever it is - you dont have it. So, he may very well not know exactly what it is about you that makes him unsure, but he seems to know that this isnt something he feels like making much of an effort for. The hot and cold bit is kind of annoying, I've been there before. Here's the deal: it never stops. Once someone goes hot/cold on you once, you can bet the farm they'll do it again. Remember, he doesnt seem to place a high value on a relationship with you, so if you get mad and dont want to deal with him, not much of a loss on his end. Also, he probably knows that saying hes unsure will trigger some insecurities in you that will allow him to continue this back/forth crap. have resigned myself to no contact at all for at least 6 weeks to get my head straight - seems impossible task!! I said the same thing...it seemed like I could barely get through 5 minutes without feeling like crap and wanting to break down. But here I am, 9 months later, and its not so bad. Just hang in there. This guy just isnt meant for you.
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