melvillr Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Ok here is the scenario, My girlfriend (age 20 and who I love very much) and I (age 23) have been dating for a number of years, we went through a rough patch and I didn’t treat her too well, nothing bad just never gave her the love she deserved. She broke up with me and started dating her boss (age 32) the next day basically, so I wrote her off because I always suspected something with her boss and she said “I’m just paranoid do u really think I would date someone that old”. During this time I never contacted her once and rejected all her calls and email’s telling me how she misses me and what not. Her boss and I had big fights during this time too because I asked him to tell her to please leave me alone. After 3 weeks of working for and dating her boss they broke up like I suspected they would. Then she comes running back to me telling me how sorry she is and how stupid she was and all this. I caved and actually took her back which I know most people wont but she really meant the world to me. My question is if any of you who read this were in this exact situation that I’m in, would you allow your girlfriend/boyfriend to still work for and with their boss/ex-lover, the same person that took her away from you? Currently she still works there and sometimes spends 11 hour shifts with him He boss owns a video shop btw. I would really like guys and girls opinions on this please.
carhill Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 A better question to ask yourself is will you allow yourself to be in a relationship with a woman who still works with the man she purportedly had romantic interest in while you were together and whom she dated after breaking up with you and whom she continues to work with. See, these are all choices *she* made. What is your choice? I probably would've made a similar choice at your age. There was a picture of me in the dictionary next to the word "doormat"
Sandbag Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 It's a tough one. How did you feel when you were without her? Did you feel as though you were doing fine on your own? Chances are that she was sleeping with her boss (I have no concrete evidence for this in your case, but it seems likely). So chances are she will do it again. Personally I would be very suspicious about the situation. I wouldn't like her to be working for him. She lied to you once saying nothing was going on. That being said, I know how hard it is to walk away. I would ask her to promise again that nothing is going on between them and that if it does you WILL find out. Then you shall never speak or see her again.
Author melvillr Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 I hated not being with her, i kinda just went out drinking nearly every night to help me sleep. Im no alcaholic but it was the only way i could actually sleep. Now that we are back together i drink maybe once a week if that. Aparently she never did anything with her boss when we were together but she did sleep with him numerous times when they were together. She has promised that nothing will happen again and they are now just friends, her boss has a new girl friend his age this time.
carhill Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Tell me, did she ever give you reason not to trust her in the past? If no, then accept how things are and trust her to work with the guy she was banging for a few weeks and leave it at that. What it boils down to is how you feel when you are with her. Personally, I would've gone through the grief process (moved beyond the anger, hurt and drinking to acceptance) and then considered re-engaging with her. IMO, it would've come from a better place, one of balance and personal health, rather than misery and loss. But that's me. Now
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Bro - do yourself a favor and get as far away from this trick and her boss as possible. As soon as the new feeling of you once again gets old, the old feeling of him will start to feel new again. GUARANTEED you get cheated on. In fact, they have probably been banging long before you broke up.
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