Lizzie60 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I was thinking about dating sites this morning.. because they remind me of garage sales... used items.. but this is what they say: Someone's trash could be someone else's treasure.. I liked garage sales a looooong time ago.. not anymore.. It's soooo true, in most cases, people are 'damaged goods' with lots of bagage.. but I guess some could be in better 'shape'... Each time, I checked those sites.. I think.. gosh... how can someone ever find a 'good catch'... My best friend has been on those for years.. she dated a guy for a few years.. but now all she sees are 'losers'... she's getting depressed.. and IT IS kind of depressing..
Bejita463 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 The "dating game" itself is more depressing than not for much of the same reasons. I don't really see how dating sites are any better/worse than typical hookup places like bars and nightclubs.
Art_Critic Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Each time, I checked those sites.. I think.. gosh... how can someone ever find a 'good catch'... My best friend has been on those for years.. she dated a guy for a few years.. but now all she sees are 'losers'... she's getting depressed.. and IT IS kind of depressing.. IME finding a match is all about the weeding out process... I dated some losers from online dating and even some great people.. but the match I found in my wife was one of compatibility.. We are similar in our likes and dislikes as well as the industries we work in.( or I should say she used to work in ) It wasn't easy finding her and even now I look back and the only thing that allowed me to break thru the garbage of online dating is my humor.. I used it quite a bit and it was what broke down the walls my now wife had around her to protect herself from all the trash that is on online dating.. Lizzie.. even all the guys you date are 'damaged goods' with lots of baggage.. I think anybody over the age of 18 has baggage and can be considered damaged goods.. it is all part of life...
Bejita463 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Lizzie.. even all the guys you date are 'damaged goods' with lots of baggage.. I think anybody over the age of 18 has baggage and can be considered damaged goods.. it is all part of life... I've got my share. I try to leave the baggage at the claim though.
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Art... I would put people over 40+ as 'damaged goods' much more than 20s or 30s... but that's me.. I can understand that there could be 'good people' in those sites.. but it's a pain in the neck to 'find' them... I have no patience.. plus I'm not looking for a relationship. My friend is... but she's slowly changing her mind.. now that she sees that it's so much trouble to find compatibility.
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 The "dating game" itself is more depressing than not for much of the same reasons. I don't really see how dating sites are any better/worse than typical hookup places like bars and nightclubs. Yabutt.. bars and nightclubs.. don't cry 'desparation' as much.... I don't go to bars and nightclubs though.. it could have changed.. but I tend to think that bars and clubs are for 'younger' crowds..
Jersey Shortie Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Art... I would put people over 40+ as 'damaged goods' much more than 20s or 30s... but that's me.. I don't know if that's true. The world is much more fast today and interconnected and I find that alot of 20s and 30 sometimes , men and women, are a little bitter towards it and have alot of baggage.
Bejita463 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Yabutt.. bars and nightclubs.. don't cry 'desparation' as much.... I guess we have a difference of opinion there then. Of course, I don't drink alcohol, so it is possible that my perception is a little skewed.
northstar1 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Yabutt.. bars and nightclubs.. don't cry 'desparation' as much.... I don't go to bars and nightclubs though.. it could have changed.. but I tend to think that bars and clubs are for 'younger' crowds.. 2 am in a nightclub/bar when all the smashed dudes are approaching anything that walks to try and take them home sure paints a desperate picture whenever I've been out to clubs. And nightclubs are mostly suitable for younger people. Ofcourse, you always get the guys who still think they fit in, and look ridiculous at 45 trying to pick up the 20 year olds.
Art_Critic Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Art... I would put people over 40+ as 'damaged goods' much more than 20s or 30s... but that's me.. With me... I had more baggage in my 20's and early 30's than I did in my 40's.. the older I got the better job I did at getting rid of it or understanding it.. When I was younger I was also dealing with some parental baggage that weighed on relationships and didn't truly deal with it till later on in life.. my early 30's. By the way.. some of the most bitter people I have seen towards dating and the other sex I have seen on online forums and those seem to be of the younger variety..
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 With me... I had more baggage in my 20's and early 30's than I did in my 40's.. the older I got the better job I did at getting rid of it or understanding it.. When I was younger I was also dealing with some parental baggage that weighed on relationships and didn't truly deal with it till later on in life.. my early 30's. By the way.. some of the most bitter people I have seen towards dating and the other sex I have seen on LS and those seem to be of the younger variety..[/QUOTE] You have a good point here.. It's not just about bitterness.. I see it more like desperate 'losers' in most cases.... really pathetic just to read some profiles.. and the pictures..
OverThinker Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 We are all weeding thru the losers in the world, it just seems like there are more online because you take a vast group of people and clump them all together in one place. I know a few people who meet quality people online. I mean I consider myself a pretty decent guy and I am on an online dating site. Plus it is easier to deal with rejection online you shoot an email no response move on. In a bar you have to do it face to face. That also opens up the fact that you see more losers online because if they wouldn't normally aproach you in a bar they might not be as shy online. Online dateing should be looked at for what it is, Just another way to meet people.
LoneWolfie Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 For a shy, non-outgoing guy like me dating sites are one of the few places where i can meet someone. I had a profile one on of those sites a few years back but pulled it down after a few months. ...yeah that DID sound sad.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I see online dating as an option if I don't want to meet people in real life. Yes, there's bound to be alot of losers on there and they'll try to " play" you but it's easier to weed out profiles rather than go meet each and every person.
donnamaybe Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I see online dating as an option if I don't want to meet people in real life. Yes, there's bound to be alot of losers on there and they'll try to " play" you but it's easier to weed out profiles rather than go meet each and every person. ...and have to weed through them in person! As for people over a certain age being "damaged goods," aren't some of the people on this thread over 50? Hell, some people become "damaged goods" by the time they're 18. It depends on what life has thrown at them and how they've chosen to handle it all.
OverThinker Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Didn't want to TJ cause I found another thread kind of related but in the sexual threads so I posed a question http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t188767/
xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 ...and have to weed through them in person! As for people over a certain age being "damaged goods," aren't some of the people on this thread over 50? Hell, some people become "damaged goods" by the time they're 18. It depends on what life has thrown at them and how they've chosen to handle it all. Oh no I'm different. I weed them through the emails we exchange back and forth. I can always tell a person by their writing. As for " damaged goods", there's always going to be someone who has a little secret that doesn't come out of the closet until you open the door for them.
donnamaybe Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Oh no I'm different. I weed them through the emails we exchange back and forth. I can always tell a person by their writing. As for " damaged goods", there's always going to be someone who has a little secret that doesn't come out of the closet until you open the door for them. Yup. That's what I meant. You can weed out the REALLY awful ones immediately just by what and how they write. If you meet someone in person, you might not find out the awful stuff immediately because you're in that social setting.
somedude81 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Online dating gives an even bigger advantage to women than real dating does. All a woman has to do is put up a profile, one or two pics of her where she looks decent and she will get bombarded by men. All she has to do is wait till the perfect guy shows up. It's completely unfair being a normal guy and trying to find a decent girl. The next issue is the amount of decent girls on there. A girl that's cute doesn't even need to use an online dating site, so it's usually the lower quality girls and those with kids that post profiles. And even then they get more responses then they can handle. There is simply a higher ratio to men than to women on the internet and the ratio is even more skewed on dating sites. I wouldn't be surprised if there were 10 guys for every 1 girl.
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I see online dating as an option if I don't want to meet people in real life. Yes, there's bound to be alot of losers on there and they'll try to " play" you but it's easier to weed out profiles rather than go meet each and every person. Agreed. Many of the people you'd meet online are the same people you would meet out and about IRL. OD makes it easier to filter through the nonsense, in a way.
Art_Critic Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Online dating gives an even bigger advantage to women than real dating does. All a woman has to do is put up a profile, one or two pics of her where she looks decent and she will get bombarded by men. All she has to do is wait till the perfect guy shows up. It's completely unfair being a normal guy and trying to find a decent girl. The next issue is the amount of decent girls on there. A girl that's cute doesn't even need to use an online dating site, so it's usually the lower quality girls and those with kids that post profiles. And even then they get more responses then they can handle. There is simply a higher ratio to men than to women on the internet and the ratio is even more skewed on dating sites. I wouldn't be surprised if there were 10 guys for every 1 girl. I'll agree that the men outweigh the women in online dating but the rest of your post I have to disagree with.. Men still have to have game.. do you have any ? It isn't unfair.. if you have game, desirability and offer a nice exciting time then the women want you.. No woman online has to just sit there and wait for the prefect guy to show up.. come on.. If that was true then all women who go online would find someone and that isn't true. and as far as the cute girl IRL not needing online dating.. that isn't true either.. Life has a tendency to get in the way of peoples social lives and even cute or hot women have to use online dating to find men.. If only the lower quality woman are online then why would you even try online dating ? That's crap.. online dating doesn't just segment the population and only certain people use it...It cuts across the entire population, young,old,pretty, ugly.. etc.. etc.. All kinds of people use it....
Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I have never posted a personal ad or responded to any. No offense to those who do, but I have always thought this would be an absolute last resort for me, what I would do if I felt I were not able to meet someone in the real world. Honestly, though, I don't think I could let myself get to that point. To me, it seems lazy and unhealthy. If your life is not active enough that it enables you to come into contact with other single and potentially dateable people, you're probably in no shape to be dating anyway. And I am definitely no social butterfly. I really have to make an effort to get out there and meet people. But I still believe it's the best way to go about it.
Tizzy Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I've done online dating for years (when I wasn't in a relationship) and it has served me well. I met a lot of great guys online, including my most recent boyfriend. I like it because you get a decent glimpse of people based on their profiles and it opens the lines of communication a little easier than perhaps meeting in person would. Also makes it easier to weed out/rule in folks since you can look based on the criteria you find the most attractive (ie age, education, interests, so on). I think it's a great complement to also meeting people the old-fashioned way.
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Written by Lizzie. Oh, the irony. I never said I was brand new.. at least I'm not 'fake'...
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