Bells Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 ....this is not work dating. Ever been part of a special interest group....like the "Trail Hikers association' or the "Great outdoors" groups? And been part of this organizations where people hook up, break up, then start dating other people as well. Eventually, from what I learned from a friend of mine, when he was part of such a group out of state....alot of , "Rotational Dating" going on. I such cases, single people came up with their own policy of not dating "Within" the group, because it became a problem. My friend, how ever, had no problem remaining friends with a woman in case things don't work out, and continue to puruse activities in such a group, however, women he dated....not so much. Some people just stopped showing up because their former counterpart would be at the same activities. With that said....should this even really be a problem? To those who can't seem to "handle it", suggest that they suck it up, and deal with it? I mean, why cut your nose off to spite your face, meaning, why stop showing up to events you like doing, just because a former date is still attending? (Typically the one who is still attending, doesn't have a problem with it, so why should the other person?) With THAT said, how do you stand in this particular dating environment? Would you still keep attending or quit? Of course, it winds up seeming like those Reality shows you see on MTV...but meh, so what, right?
Sam Spade Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Good point. I've never tried it (joining a group/a class to meet someone), and I doubt I'd ever do. But it seems to be one of the most overused and probably ineffective dating advice given . For example, if you're a single guy, in a new town, or just want a change of scenery, your options to meeting women are basically limited to drinking a lot or *pretending* in beign interested in learning italian (or hiking, or whatever). The problem with such groups/classes is precisely that there is almost always a component of "well I could meet somebody there", which is understandable, but easily leads to awkwardness.
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 This is precisely why - as many of us have told you time and time again - that it's unwise to join Meetup.com groups for the purposes of dating or hooking up. Most in those groups simply don't want to, for the reason you stated.
start-fresh Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Yep, it's a major Catch-22. I think the focus should be on meeting new people to network with and expanding your own horizons, rather than strictly looking to meet potential dates. At the same time, how DO you meet people to date when you're new to an area and aren't interested in the bar scene?
BCCA Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Ah meetup.com... Everyone is different, but I think I can safely speak for many single guys out there when I say that once we've dated and things didnt work out, Im perfectly ok with never seeing you again, and would prefer it that way. Also, I can find other people to go running, see a ballgame, or play board games with, so if the person I was interested in is going to be there, its not really a big loss for me to skip it. Sure, would have probably been cool, but its one night, and a lot of them are during the week anyway. so why should the other person? Why do I want to be around someone who represents either A. a failed attempt at getting a date, or B. a failed attempt at a relationship? Especially in a group where youre going to have to watch them date and flirt with everyone else in front of you...no thanks. why stop showing up to events you like doing, just because a former date is still attending? Because to most of us, not feeling awkward, uncomfortable, or crappy is a lot more important than having someone to run with. You can seriously find other people to do the things you like with, its not like it has to be with someone you dated.
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