xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Paddings, in response to your " devil's advocate" comment on my last thread, I think it's safe to say I can post this. Less than 2 days since having said goodbye, tonight while looking at my phone, I noticed a text message from Artist guy, who wrote me that he loved my truffles ( I had made them for Sunday night's dinner) and he had ate 4 of them. Now I would it's nothing special to get texted about something as simple as truffles but the time stamp said it was sent at 12: 30 in the morning. To clarify, I haven't had contact with him at all since our hug at the station. What does this say about him?
paddington bear Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I think what it says about him is that he likes your truffles He's keeping in touch, which is good, not just about when to hook up the next time, which is also good. If you like him and want to be more than a FWB simply act like a non FWB, let him woo you, respond to the woo-ing and so on.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Unfortunately the truffles were bitter. I don't understand how he could have stomached them. I just received a text from him tell me he chopped them up and put them in his ice cream.
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Any contact that late at night says only one thing: booty call. It's really not rocket science. Granted, it was about truffles, but he was hoping it would evolve into something else.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Any contact that late at night says only one thing: booty call. It's really not rocket science. Granted, it was about truffles, but he was hoping it would evolve into something else. Well I replied at 2 and didn't get a reply til today. So how would that constitute it being a booty call?
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Well I replied at 2 and didn't get a reply til today. So how would that constitute it being a booty call? You replied at 2 a.m. last night? The night after he texted you. Well, that doesn't change things. At 11:59 p.m. last night, you said that last night you looked at your phone and saw the text from 12:30 a.m. the previous night. When he texted you at 12:30 a.m. two nights ago, he was trying to engage you in an exchange that would lead to you going over to his pad, or vice versa, that night. That you responded to him last night, as opposed to the night he texted you, doesn't change his intentions. He didn't respond last night either because he was sleeping, or with someone else.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 You replied at 2 a.m. last night? The night after he texted you. Well, that doesn't change things. At 11:59 p.m. last night, you said that last night you looked at your phone and saw the text from 12:30 a.m. the previous night. When he texted you at 12:30 a.m. two nights ago, he was trying to engage you in an exchange that would lead to you going over to his pad, or vice versa, that night. That you responded to him last night, as opposed to the night he texted you, doesn't change his intentions. He didn't respond last night either because he was sleeping, or with someone else. No..... I looked at my phone last night at 2 in the morning and I saw I had a text from him at 12:30. So I replied back knowing that he was asleep. I didn't get an answer until just 11 today. It wasn't the previous night, it was just last night. He wasn't with anyone last night. I know he's an early sleeper because even when we had spend sunday night together, he had fallen asleep by 1. He gets up early to go to his studio to work.
AlektraClementine Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Paper, I really think you're over-thinking things. You are clocking this guy's EVERY move. Trying to find meaning in it because you want something meaningful with him. I don't subscribe to the old fashioned "don't give blowjobs or have sex too soon" stuff. IF IF IF, you can handle the possibility that he's not looking for anything more than that. With that said, I slept with my current boyfriend on the first date. We've now been together for 16 months. BUT, he was interested in being my boyfriend from day one and made that very clear. Things don't always work that way. Sometimes they do. It all depends on where each of you are coming from and whether or not those two directions have a central meeting point. I do think it would be in your interest to chill out with the sexual stuff for a bit considering you are clearly not reading him very well. Whether that be your fault or his, it is what it is. Chill out with the sexual stuff and I GUARANTEE you, that you will discover his true motivations. I wouldn't advise this in just any situation. But you are so very fixated on this guy. I promise you that blowjobs and ice cream play will NOT turn him into a boyfriend, if that isn't his inclination. If I've learned anything in life, it is that there is no universal truth to anything. Everything is situational. So you can take my advise for what it's worth to you. My advise comes from my own experiences. I think the most detrimental thing you can do to yourself in this situation is to ignore your own inclinations in favor of trying to placate to his. Especially since you don't know what they are. If you are true to yourself, you will receive your answer.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Paper, I really think you're over-thinking things. You are clocking this guy's EVERY move. Trying to find meaning in it because you want something meaningful with him. I don't subscribe to the old fashioned "don't give blowjobs or have sex too soon" stuff. IF IF IF, you can handle the possibility that he's not looking for anything more than that. With that said, I slept with my current boyfriend on the first date. We've now been together for 16 months. BUT, he was interested in being my boyfriend from day one and made that very clear. Things don't always work that way. Sometimes they do. It all depends on where each of you are coming from and whether or not those two directions have a central meeting point. I do think it would be in your interest to chill out with the sexual stuff for a bit considering you are clearly not reading him very well. Whether that be your fault or his, it is what it is. Chill out with the sexual stuff and I GUARANTEE you, that you will discover his true motivations. I wouldn't advise this in just any situation. But you are so very fixated on this guy. I promise you that blowjobs and ice cream play will NOT turn him into a boyfriend, if that isn't his inclination. If I've learned anything in life, it is that there is no universal truth to anything. Everything is situational. So you can take my advise for what it's worth to you. My advise comes from my own experiences. I think the most detrimental thing you can do to yourself in this situation is to ignore your own inclinations in favor of trying to placate to his. Especially since you don't know what they are. If you are true to yourself, you will receive your answer. I know I write alot about the guy, but it does not mean I'm obsessed with him. It's just all these accusations are getting to me and other's opinions are beginning to make me question my actions. I know there's nothing wrong with either him or me, and I'm actually quite happy. Yes, everything is situational, and I wish I could see the future as well. But I know I can't and I just try to make the best of everything. Thanks
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 PPS. there's no point in continuing this thread. We don't want to drag on another useless 6 or 7 more pages of endless this and that.. Thanks everyone.
BCCA Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Random thought - have you ever thought about asking him what he wants with you, where he sees this going, etc? It could really give you a lot of answers, because right now, youre just analyzing his every move, and no one can tell you for sure what hes doing and why but him.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 Random thought - have you ever thought about asking him what he wants with you, where he sees this going, etc? It could really give you a lot of answers, because right now, youre just analyzing his every move, and no one can tell you for sure what hes doing and why but him. BCCA, that has more than once crossed my mind. But because I'm a little convinced that I might just be a " hookup" " booty call" etc, how would you think it would sound to him asking straightforward about where this is all going? I remember i asked a guy once " are we dating? " and he completely disappeared on me. I don't what happened then, and I still don't know now. So I'm wary of asking someone something this personal.
Okfine Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Unfortunately asking a guy if you guys are dating is not going to get you the answer you want. Having him actually ask you out on dates and you accepting will. Once this becomes a pattern, guess what? You are dating.
BCCA Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 As a wise man once told me, "Never be affraid of answers; you'll get them now, or you'll get them later, and life is too short." I've done it myself, you kind of dont ask too much, or you ask kind of random/nonspecific/ambiguous questions, because youre affraid of the answers. The thing is though, you're only wasting your time, and then when you finally get around to getting a straight answer...you've already wasted so much time, you ponder sticking with it just so youre not left with nothing after all your efforts. But its a one way ticket to unhappiness, trust me. Just tell him how you feel about him and ask him if he feels the same way. You dont have to get way ahead of yourself, such as talking about weddings and moving in, but just make it clear you want a bf/gf relationship with him, and everything that comes with it. The way he responds tells you everything. If he says right away he feels the same way, great, life is good. But anything about needing to think, being in a bad place, not ready to date, going through some family stuff, and the myriad of other BS excuses, is just a way to politely say no. I remember i asked a guy once " are we dating? " and he completely disappeared on me Then he didnt want to date you, and that was actually a positive thing. See, you have to look at a relationship in a 'grand scheme of life' kind of way. In the big picture, a guy who wasnt really looking to date you and didnt want to be your bf isnt worth your time if thats what you were looking for. Its like we sometimes can be so caught up in having someone that we begin to settle for things that are intolerable. You cant be scared of answers, because the truth will always be the truth. As much as it sucks, you need to get the truth. Just expect the worst, but hope for the best.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 Unfortunately asking a guy if you guys are dating is not going to get you the answer you want. Having him actually ask you out on dates and you accepting will. Once this becomes a pattern, guess what? You are dating. I know action speaks louder than words. I know full well if a guy is interested in dating me he would do anything to get in contact with me. As a wise man once told me, "Never be affraid of answers; you'll get them now, or you'll get them later, and life is too short." I've done it myself, you kind of dont ask too much, or you ask kind of random/nonspecific/ambiguous questions, because youre affraid of the answers. The thing is though, you're only wasting your time, and then when you finally get around to getting a straight answer...you've already wasted so much time, you ponder sticking with it just so youre not left with nothing after all your efforts. But its a one way ticket to unhappiness, trust me. Just tell him how you feel about him and ask him if he feels the same way. You dont have to get way ahead of yourself, such as talking about weddings and moving in, but just make it clear you want a bf/gf relationship with him, and everything that comes with it. The way he responds tells you everything. If he says right away he feels the same way, great, life is good. But anything about needing to think, being in a bad place, not ready to date, going through some family stuff, and the myriad of other BS excuses, is just a way to politely say no. Then he didnt want to date you, and that was actually a positive thing. See, you have to look at a relationship in a 'grand scheme of life' kind of way. In the big picture, a guy who wasnt really looking to date you and didnt want to be your bf isnt worth your time if thats what you were looking for. Its like we sometimes can be so caught up in having someone that we begin to settle for things that are intolerable. You cant be scared of answers, because the truth will always be the truth. As much as it sucks, you need to get the truth. Just expect the worst, but hope for the best. BCCA, that man is truly wise. Unfortunately, despite how straightforward I am in person, when it comes to truly asking someone about how they feel about me, I choke on my words. I know when a guy wants to be with me or not, but I also know I second guess myself all the time just to go against everything I believe in. In a way I think I already know his answer even if I don't ask him. But I don't allow myself to doubt myself one bit because I am scared. I sincerely try to be confident in myself, but I faced alot of rejections back in high school. I did mention in a previous thread I had texted him I liked him. He never texted me back. I think that said all that needed to be said. The only reason I think I still see him and not cut off contact completely is because I'm bored. He does help make my summer enjoyable. I don't pin all my hopes on him, even though if there's anyone I would want to date and be in a relationship, he would be my first choice. My options are pretty open at this point, if things don't pan out with him, at least he had kept me company for a while. I'm open to dating other guys right now because there's no exclusivity, and I'm pretty okay with everything. Since it's the summer, I don't want to make myself so stressed out, so I busy myself with my friends and my hobbies.
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