Lucky555 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 This guy has been talking to me online for months. I didn't mind and thought well maybe I should see what his intentions are before flirting and going on a date or something. So, as I have found he seems very insecure with himself and women. I also have found when he gets closer he then quickly limits contact or pulls away completely. This past month , I stopped contacting him and he still contacts me. He leaves messages which are casual on my facebook and talks online (which he is blocked now). I don't want to delete him but really why is he still talking to me and trying to flirt? I don't want to be mean and say "piss off" but I do want him to stop contacting me because I don't want him in my life because I don't think he deserves to be in my life: he seems to not tell the whole truth and leaves things out in conversations. Its like he puts on a "front" of a fake him and is trying to be a player. It appears he wants attention but doesn't want to invest himself. This is not a person who i want around me or talking to me. Do you think eventually after not talking or replying to him that he will leave me alone? because its been a month of me NOT initiating and he still does.
dreamergrl Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I'd delete, ignore, block, remove, run. I don't like it when a person puts up a front, I also don't like constantly being contacted after ignoring someone. It's annoying. Maybe just say "Look, I'm not into you, leave me alone".
xpaperxcutx Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Why would you not delete him though? That's how you avoid people like him. By deleting them.
Author Lucky555 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 thanks dreamergrl. I do believe its annoying, yes at one time i cared but I have learned through experiences to just let it be if its not "flowing". Having him "try" to be in my life is just annoying. I have blocked him. He is on my facebook and i just wont reply if he asks me anything or tries other tactics. Thanks.
Author Lucky555 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 Why would you not delete him though? That's how you avoid people like him. By deleting them. we have mutual friends and i just want to not cause "drama" and i don't want people asking me questions this is only for facebook though. I just hope he stops contacting me its so annoying because i don't trust him and I don't want him as a friend. yet i want to keep the peace.
DarkestDreams Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Since you've been talking online for months, it's a safe assumption on his part that you're somewhat interested. Do you respond when he initiates? No attempt of contact on your part can be translated into the good ol' chase in his mind. If you don't even bother responding, then he's bad at taking hints. The easiest solution would be to send him a message saying something along the lines of "I'm not interested in pursuing this any further. Best of luck to you" and then delete and block. I think it's counterproductive to spend more than a week talking online. Meeting face to face as soon as possible is the best way to assess chemistry and the way I see it, there's no point in wasting time and energy on something that in most cases leads nowhere. Oh, and I never gave my Facebook to people I've never met. I have too many personal details on it and, in case it doesn't work out, I don't have to worry about online stalkers.
DarkestDreams Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Looks like we posted in the same time. Well, the fact that it's been a month since you've been ignoring him and he still goes at it shows that he's not gonna stop anytime soon. My advice still stands. Don't worry about mutual friends or causing drama. If you don't want anything to do with him, then you don't want anything to do with him. Your friends should understand.
Author Lucky555 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 Since you've been talking online for months, it's a safe assumption on his part that you're somewhat interested. Do you respond when he initiates? No attempt of contact on your part can be translated into the good ol' chase in his mind. If you don't even bother responding, then he's bad at taking hints. The easiest solution would be to send him a message saying something along the lines of "I'm not interested in pursuing this any further. Best of luck to you" and then delete and block. I think it's counterproductive to spend more than a week talking online. Meeting face to face as soon as possible is the best way to assess chemistry and the way I see it, there's no point in wasting time and energy on something that in most cases leads nowhere. Oh, and I never gave my Facebook to people I've never met. I have too many personal details on it and, in case it doesn't work out, I don't have to worry about online stalkers. I have known this guy for 2.5 years. We dated a year ago and have not seen each other since. I broke if off because it was online contact and it was him having the same issues he has now. This is why i waited months to even see if this was something worth it. I totally agree face to face. Which is why i told myself if he still has issues I will not be in contact with him. Yes, when he contacted I responded just casually. So maybe this is the problem, which is why i have blocked him now. It just became annoying after awhile that it was still the same guy with the same issues. I agree it is counter productive talking online, he has issues with women. He doesn't want to be rejected and likes women taking the lead. However, I never did this because I needed to find out if it would be a different him...NOPE it was not. I do think i like the line "best of luck to you" its short and sweet. If i ever deal with him again it will be that line
dreamergrl Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 we have mutual friends and i just want to not cause "drama" and i don't want people asking me questions this is only for facebook though. I just hope he stops contacting me its so annoying because i don't trust him and I don't want him as a friend. yet i want to keep the peace. You can't delete him and keep your other friends?
Author Lucky555 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 You can't delete him and keep your other friends? Well the other friends would understand but I know i will get questions. Its the questions and dealing with those questions that I don't want. Also in the event that i would see him again by surprise it would only be, it would be so awkward. I rather just avoid him and not respond so he will get the message.
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