Whats the Trick to sucessful NC?

[xxscarredxx]

I'm dying to know.

My gf broke up with me a couple of months ago because during one of our arguing sessions, she emailed an ex neighbor of mine telling her my "personal flaws" and how much bad of a person I was. My neighbor forwarded the email to me, and when I confronted my gf with it, she suddenly wanted to end the relationship. What made it so strange was that she has never met my old neighbor! She only seen her from myspace!!

The last time we emailed each other was at the end of March, when she said that she "noticed that I tried to email her, but she's blocked my address from her address", so I just stop contact with her altogether, cuz how would she have known that I had just tried to send her an email if it was blocked already?

Then, I notice on myspace, she's beginning to befriend the friends that are on my list; she's friends with people she has absolutely NOTHING in common with or have ever met, and leaving comments on their page, I guess so I could see her comments too. My profile is private (and she's blocked from that), so all she can go by is what I put on other peoples pages.

I don't know if she's tried to call me since our breakup.. I changed my number a week after we did so.

But how can I fully get over this crazy girl if she's the one that broke up with me, and seemingly, is everywhere I tend to be?

It doesn't feel like I have any closure as to why she would do me so bogus like that..

[BCCA]

NC is meant for you, as a way to distance yourself from her and the situation, thereby gaining perspective. Its not meant to make her call you, or cause her to do anything really. I'm not sure if thats what you were trying to do, but using NC as a ploy to get her to come back will simply not work.

 

The first thing I see that you need to do is stop going to myspace. I'm sure your friends will understand, and it seems to have given you too much space to 'e-stalk' her, just to keep tabs on her if nothing else. It's just dangerous, and you can honestly do without it. I went through myspace withdraws after my last ex, too, who was friends with everyone I know, and to my knowledge - is still on their friend list. Its for the best, though, just avoid it for a while.

 

It doesn't feel like I have any closure as to why she would do me so bogus like that

 

Closure comes from you, youll never get it from her. She's never going to say anything to make you understand or feel any better, you just have to realize that its over, and thats that.

[xxscarredxx]

No, don't get me wrong.. I haven't looked at her myspace profile since the breakup. I just took notice that she became friends with a few of mine days after our breakup. I have too much in my life to stalk her or anyone here or there.

 

I do agree with you about withdrawing from myspace for a while.

 

I also agree with you that I won't get closure from her.. just me. But, I simply can't help wonder what would possess a person to slander another person to someone they do not know?..

[boogieboy]

Sounds to me like your ex talked to your ex naeighbor about you to convince herself why she should break up with you, so she was confused. Problem for you is that she didnt talk to you about her issues with you, so you have been doomed for months. She was building all this up for a while. If shes really crazy, she deliberately went to someone who she figured would squeal to you to create a situation to break up with you. She sounds a lil unstable anyways. Theres no trick to NC, its painful and you have to tough it out. I advise using someone new to help you forget about the ex.

[norajane]

The "trick" to successful NC is believing that you are better off without that person, and the sooner you remove the dark cloud from your consciousness, the better.

[lovelinefan]

Amen! I wish the entire thing was that simple... NC is definitely that simple, but the emotions of the heart are not. Guess the next step is to wait for emotions and love to fade.