RedSoxGirl Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 This guy and I hooked up over the weekend. I don't regret it. We have a 6 year age difference (I'm 28 he is 22), and I'm not looking to "date" him. We have this AMAZING sexual chemistry. We have been texting over the last few days. Yesterday he texted me asking when I would be ready for "round 2". I texted him back later in the day, telling him he could come over tonight if he wanted to. But he never answered my text. Now I said I wasn't looking to date him, so there is no need for games. I either wanted a yes or no. But no answer is just stupid! Why do guys play these games, when I'm not trying to date him. And no, I'm not more invested in this than just to hook up. It just annoys me that he would initiate a question to meet up again, and I respond just to be ignored. I don't plan to text him again, until he textes me. Now I don't know if I should even respond if he contacts me to get together tonight...
bean1 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Why games? Because he is only 22 and you are nothing more than a hook-up to him? He doesn't think he owes you anything. Maybe he changed his mind and doesn't want to see you again?
Author RedSoxGirl Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 I know he doesn't "owe" me. He is the one who initiated seeing me again though.
OverThinker Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 So why worry about how long it takes him to get back to you. If it is just a hook up then so what if he text you back and says lets do it your gonna say no because it took him so long to get back to you that sounds like dating games to me. Maybe he didn't expect you to say lets do it so soon and his first thought is trying to figure out how to get tonight free cause he wants to get laid so he is calling his buddies and saying gotta cancel gonna get laid or who knows who cares if its just a hook up. How long someone takes to get back to you is the game we play durring dating. If you just wanna get laid when he does get back youll say yes. That said if it was me I'd sent right back hell yes what time, then call whoever and say gotta cancel got a better offer. but thats me not him.
BCCA Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Well, if youre just each others booty calls, there is really no need for him to do anything on any schedule. He could have found something else to do, changed his mind, or gotten busy. Be careful what you wish for. I hear stories like this ALL THE TIME.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 No strings means he doesn't owe you any explanations. That's the deal. Accept it or move on. Maybe he is testing you to see if you will ask something of him, have expectations. Who knows? The only way to win here is to play it cool.
Enema Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I disagree with you all. He doesn't owe her an explanation, but he owes her an answer - yes or no. Give her the chance to make other plans too if you're going to bail, geez.
Mahatma Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Yeah, I do not see why there wasn't even an answer.. However, how long have we been waiting for this "answer?" If it has been 30 minutes and you just got angry, that is one thing. If it has been 10+ hours, then you're probably really being ignored. I have had texts disappear too by the way.
BCCA Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 An answer would be nice, but I disagree - he doesnt owe her anything, unfortunately. If they have a casual sex relationship, if he doesnt strike while the iron is hot, too bad for him but she certainly shouldnt wait around.
dreamergrl Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Maybe it's a long shot... but maybe he was trying to see if that's all she was good for. Not trying to be mean at all OP, but maybe there's a small possibility that he was interested in more then just sex, and he was testing to see if you wanted to hang out or something. It's not often, but I've had a meaningless sex night before, and it turned into something more. Not saying it's a good way to start off dating someone, but it's happened
carhill Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I texted him back later in the day, telling him he could come over tonight if he wanted to. He didn't want to, so he didn't. You didn't ask for an answer. These NSA deals are one step down from a casual friendship and, even in those, there is little expectation of the other person. You don't make plans; you don't worry about whether they'll stop by; you don't stay home if you find something else to do. No biggie. Right?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 How hard is it to text? I agree with most posters that he doesn't own her an explanation or anything because they're not really dating, but he can at least send a yes or no. It's so simple and hardly takes more than 5 mins.
carhill Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Yeah, that's what I used to say about all the dates who never got back to me. Equal opportunity; gotta love it
Ruby Slippers Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Give her the chance to make other plans too if you're going to bail, geez. One cannot bail if specific plans have not been made. She is free to make other plans, especially if she hasn't heard back from him in X amount of time (which is up to her). If I were in that situation, if I hadn't heard back by day's end, I'd make other plans if I wanted to.
bean1 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I think the issue is more towards that the OP is slightly insulted and suprised that a 22 year old male would turn down a NSA sexual encounter.
Lindarose84 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Wow, with a lot of these responses, I would hate to be "involved" with the people who say "he doesn't owe her anything." You see, he does owe her something- He owes her friggin common human decency- she's not asking him to go on a weekend getaway, she simply just expects a 2 or 3 word response to the text conversation HE started. You would think that after he was allowed to stick his penis in her, he would IN THE LEAST give her that. Geez.
carhill Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 It's just electrons and body parts. The modern age. No games at all
Trialbyfire Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I texted him back later in the day How much later? Was it 2 hours, 4 hours, 8 hours later? Also, you can't expect a 22 year-old to have the same savvy as an older guy, to at least pretend to courtesy, for a hookup situation.
D-Lish Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I wouldn't be surprised if he had sent out quite a few messages to lots of different people and is waiting to gather responses before deciding which is his best option. That includes hanging with the guys or contacting other women. I think it's really important to decide where you stand here. If you feel he left you hanging, your best course of action if he does text you is to tell him you've made other plans (even if you haven't). Don't let him view you as the girl he can make a decision to see last minute and you'll be okay with it. It really is true that we teach people how to treat us. It doesn't matter if you are just FWB's. You can still have a mutually beneficial relationship with an element of respect involved. It's important to set the boundaries, let him know if he wants to get together- he needs to book you early:eek:. 22 Year old guys are pretty wishy-washy... They'll give up a booty call to hang with their buddies... I absolutely would not let him come over if he contacts you last minute. Tell him you have made plans!
BobSacamento Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Perhaps it would have been been wise to make your response in the form of a question.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Wow, with a lot of these responses, I would hate to be "involved" with the people who say "he doesn't owe her anything." You see, he does owe her something- He owes her friggin common human decency- she's not asking him to go on a weekend getaway, she simply just expects a 2 or 3 word response to the text conversation HE started. You would think that after he was allowed to stick his penis in her, he would IN THE LEAST give her that. Geez. Hello, yes!!!! He can at least respond to the text, come on! How hard is that? Yes or no? FWB's can be mutually beneficial but there is a modicum of respect in even these relationships. In fact, the best FWB's are all about respect. You like each other, you satisfy each other, you do not want a RL. Fine. You still respect each other enough to respond "yes" or "no". And BTW, 22 is not an excuse. I've been with young guys who know the drill.
carhill Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I'm not getting FWB. IMO, it was a NSA "hookup". They didn't know each other nor were friends prior. Similar to, back in my generation, two strangers having a "one night stand". The only difference now is the electrons flying around, aka "cell phones". The tool doesn't change the dynamic, IMO.
Cherished Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 He knows now you give it up easy. You're not intriguing to him any longer.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I'm not getting FWB. IMO, it was a NSA "hookup". They didn't know each other nor were friends prior. Similar to, back in my generation, two strangers having a "one night stand". The only difference now is the electrons flying around, aka "cell phones". The tool doesn't change the dynamic, IMO. Yes, maybe more of an NSA than an FWB.
tinklebell Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Perhaps it would have been been wise to make your response in the form of a question. I would suggest that too. Some guys just take things literally. Yours was a statement so he probably took it as that and thought "Okay, I'll just let her know when I want to go over."
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