Not the love ace Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Unfortunately I am not interested romantically in her. This girl I know is a super nice girl, and a great person to hang out with, a great friend to have. We get along very well and always have a great time with each other. However, all of the friends we hang out with told me she is very interested in me and I know for a fact she is. Though she has not told me directly all of our friends try hooking us up, and I am starting to get really annoyed. They assume that I am into her and I am clearly not in a romantic way and have stated it numerous times, but behind my back they try and persuade her to ask me out and whatnot. However, I want to draw the line and let her know that there is no chance of us getting together romantically without coming off like an A-Hole especially since its not her fault. I am really flattered that she feels and thinks the way she does of me but I need her to know from my mouth that I don't like her. I know I can just come out and tell her but I feel like the best thing is for me to wait for her to initiate the conversation based on how she feels before I come out and tell her how I feel. I'm just itching to say something but I'll feel incredibly bad and like an A-hole if I tell her randomly there's no chance of us dating, especially since I just came out of rough break up with my ex. I want to put an end to her friends putting thoughts on her head and gassing her up. I also want my friends to stop with the BS already and respect my decisions and my opinion. I'm on the verge of flipping out and I don't want to have to let everyone know the business. I also am afraid I'll probably have to hang out with her less just she can kind of get a clue, I guess. Anyway, I just don't want her feelings to be hurt especially since I haven't flirted with her or told her anything to lead her on. She's a great girl and the last thing I want to see if her feelings being hurt. So whats the best way I can go about this? Thanks.
OverThinker Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 The sooner you tell her the better. If she likes you and wants to be in a relationship those feelings are going to build until she builds the courage to ask you at which point you will have to tell her and it will hurt her even more. It may help as well to not make it about her although that is also a slipery slope. You tell her that your friends have been telling you that you two should date but you are not ready to be dating anyone then at some point down the road your with someone else that will hurt her. In my opinion your best bet is just to tell her the truth she is a great friend but that is all she will ever be to you. YES it will hurt her feelings but the longer you wait the more it will hurt and damage your friendship. Just my thoughts on the matter. Good Luck
tobe1424 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 it all depends what you are looking for...sometimes friends and surroundings can effect your perspective on things... maybe she is the girl of your dreams and you don't know it...spend time alone with her and away from friends and see for yourself how much you like her... i remember sometimes i would get pushed to date a girl and i just hated that...im the type of person that likes to do everything on my own...so when i would be "forced" to like a girl to not look like an A-Hole, i ended up telling her i didn't really like her.... Weeks later when you see her again you'll regret it and be like dam...i could have had that... so just advice...do that... if you really don't like her at all as g.f material then just tell her then...but give my first option a try....
Ronni_W Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 but behind my back they try and persuade her to ask me out and whatnot. However, I want to draw the line and let her know that there is no chance of us getting together romantically. Maybe you can turn it around...say something like, "I don't know if our friends are doing it to you, too, but I really get the impression they're trying to hook us up. They're not getting it to stop trying, so I'm just gonna ignore them from now on, and we can just stay being the good friends that we are. But don't tell them I told you, okay...I figure let them have their fun and games if that's what they're intent on doing. Anyway. Did you have a good weekend?" (or whatever other thing you come up with to take the conversation in a totally different direction.)
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