tinklebell Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 What's your take on the saying "timing is everything" when it comes to relationships? What about "you have to fight for what you want?" Which do you subscribe to and what's your personal philosophy when it comes to relationships/looking for relationships?
BCCA Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 What's your take on the saying "timing is everything" when it comes to relationships? Sometimes, you meet the right person at the wrong time. I met someone awesome right after getting dumped, but just wasnt in a good place for a relationship. You also need to strike when the iron is hot. Dont waste time trying to play cool or make someone think something, just go with it. I'm a big believer that there is a right time to ask someone out, and if you miss out, it could just be too late. What about "you have to fight for what you want?" Anything worth having is worth fighting for. To me, that means dont expect love to be easy, but if you pick the right person, at least you wont have to go it alone. What I DONT take this to mean is that even if someone tells you no, keep trying over and over. Which do you subscribe to and what's your personal philosophy when it comes to relationships/looking for relationships? Just have an open heart, and be patient. Looking for relationships never works. You just end up settling and being frustrated. Just get out and meet new people, and give it a try. But you should only date when you can handle rejection.
jayOG Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Timing, I never look. Fighting requires time and resources, which I don't have right now. But when I'm ready I will fight to the bitter end. So basically it depends on your situation.
zhsoj Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I would have been one to say fight for what you want... Now I think I'd be very tepid about that... It's good in theory, but it really depends. Why fight for something that doesn't want to be caught? If you fight for too long, you are simply going to exhaust yourself. As for timing... Uhm. Yes. Timing is everything. Unfortunately you can never know when the timing is right, so forget about trying to control it. I think that you have to recognize when things are out of your control. It's okay to fight for something you want, but you have to realize that it may simply be unobtainable. Or even worse, once you "win it", you will find you don't want it. Throw caution to the wind, yes, but don't be foolish.
loser101 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Timing: that's a tough one, you can blame anything and everything on timing if it's not tangible why something is not working. I think it is important yes but at the same time, people change their priorities for the right person. Fighting for what you want: to a degree. I think that works more once you are in a relationship itself when you are making it work. If you have to fight to get in to the relationship in the first place, I'm not really sure it's going to lead you anywhere. I never look for a relationship, it just happens. I try to meet new people frequently though in order to create opportunities.
Author tinklebell Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Thanks all. They're good personal views. I like this one. Mine would probably be "timing is as timing is and I'll fight for what I want but be smart about it." Throw caution to the wind, yes, but don't be foolish.
paddington bear Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 What's your take on the saying "timing is everything" when it comes to relationships? I agree. If my head is totally caught up with one guy, the totally perfect man of my dreams could waltz into my life, there's no way I'm going to even notice him and likewise I think for men. I think the saying that men are like taxis, is true too. They can be driving around with their 'available' light off (as in bad timing, emotionally unavailable, not ready right now) and zoom right by you, no way are you going to get into that car, but when they decide they're ready the light comes on and if you happen to be looking for a taxi when they've decided, then you're in luck. I think you could be totally compatible with some guy and if mentally he's just not ready, well then nothing is going to change that. If you met the same guy a year down the line, then things would be different IMO anyway, What about "you have to fight for what you want?" I'm a lover not a fighter - seriously though, I've been in numerous situations where competitive girls want the guy who's interested in me, some unbelievable things have happened and I've lost trust in some females and lost what once were good friendships over this. However, still don't know how to deal with this. Fight like 2 animals over the one guy? My pride won't let me, so I walk away, if he's interested in me, he wouldn't get distracted by some other desperate girl...mind you, I'd still like a solution other than walking away or fighting over him to this one as it really pisses me off. In terms of fighting for what you want when you're in a relationship, I think that's different. If you love each other and things are going downhill, then by all means fight to rescue the situation. Love is a very delicate thing that can be broken easily. Which do you subscribe to and what's your personal philosophy when it comes to relationships/looking for relationships? Kindness towards me #1. Timing is key, from now on I think, if I sense the timing is off - ie I'm ready, he's not, then I should just walk away, maybe fate or luck or whatever will throw us into each other's paths in the future when the timing's right, or maybe not. But no point flogging what is clearly a dead horse from the offset (why am I only copping on to this NOW???!!!!). And someone who clearly wants me, not in a creepy over the top way, but someone who makes me feel secure, he likes me, it's easy, I know he likes me, I'm not calling all my friends going 'when he said this what did it mean?' because it's obvious he likes me, wants to be with me and then it's up to me to decide whether I like him too, so no mixed-signals either.
Author tinklebell Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 And someone who clearly wants me, not in a creepy over the top way, but someone who makes me feel secure, he likes me, it's easy, I know he likes me, I'm not calling all my friends going 'when he said this what did it mean?' because it's obvious he likes me, wants to be with me and then it's up to me to decide whether I like him too, so no mixed-signals either. This is so important. If he's the right one, things should flow smoothly (with the occasional downs along with the ups), but nothing that would cause sleepless nights psycho-analyzing things he said or did. Things just are.
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