Nikki Sahagin Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 The first time me and my ex broke up - I basically went on a starvation diet (NOT intentionally). But I couldn't eat. I stopped eating so much that I lost a lot of my figure, now I am small anyway, a size 10, but I was having to start buying size 8's and 6's in clothes...I was wasting myself away and not even really noticing. When we got back together, I still couldn't eat. I didn't really notice it, because I thought the fact I was never hungry had become a kind of habit (kind of like when your stomach shrinks and you get full on very little) but it was because even being back with him, I felt anxious, sad, self-conscious - the damage had been done. When we first got together, I ate all the time. So did he (in fact he got a little chunky). But I think one of the most beautiful things is when two people are so in love that they eat, drink, dance, everything is in excess - and you never look at them differently. So the fact that I was wasting away, not just physically but in terms of my personality, was a bad sign that the relationship was sadly no longer any good for me. I wouldn't eat properly for days. I just felt worthless, unloved...so I didn't bother loving myself. Just gave everything for him, thinking I can take being hungry and weak and upset, because HE can at least be happy (even though nothing was enough for him). I am a giver, but he made me less of myself, or should I say I allowed him to make me less of myself. Now I am eating again, and have gone right back to my normal self I FIT my clothes again, I don't just jut out of them like a coat hanger. I have my figure back and with that my confidence and my spark Its just so ironic that in my relationship, I lost my body, at a time when someone was seeing it. And now that I have no plans for anyone to see me naked, I LOVE how i'm looking again. So one blessing I take from the breakup is that FINALLY I am eating again. He made me so miserable at times I lost my appetite. Oh and i'm not eating rubbish either....so the weight is all healthy weight so I hope!
carhill Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Hope you find that happy medium, both in food and in love. Extremes are nearly always unhealthy. Size 10 is a 10 in my book
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 Thankyou Carhill Yes don't worry when I mean eating like a pig, i'm not literally eating like a pig, just got back a healthy appetite that i've been missing for the past 6 months XXX
quankanne Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 nikki, after the recent swine flu scare, you sure you want to mention the P-I-G word? :laugh: glad to hear you're back to a healthy appetite ~ are you being a good girl and drinking your 48-64 oz. of water every day?
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 nikki, after the recent swine flu scare, you sure you want to mention the P-I-G word? :laugh: glad to hear you're back to a healthy appetite ~ are you being a good girl and drinking your 48-64 oz. of water every day? LMAO, okay i'm uh eating like a..........no other animal has the right ring to it! Maybe the drinking could use a little work But i'll work on that too!
LadyV Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I so hear you!! I have lost 7 lbs since going NC with my XBF. I do have to say though, I am getting my appetite back... BUT, I am making much healthier choices...more veggies and all that jazz just so I can feel healthier...because I also plan on going hitting the gym too!!! Glad to hear that you are getting your appetite back! That's awesome!!
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