steammachine Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I've been exclusive with this girl for the last 3 months. Our time spent together is always fun and there is never a dull moment. There is one thing that I need an outside opinion on however, as I don't know if I'm expecting too much or over-reacting on this one aspect of the relationship. She never initiates basically anything. I've always been the one who asks her what's happening on the weekend and which times she has free for us to go hang out, I'm always the one making the phone calls to her, and I'm always the one who initiates any sort of SMS contact. I've given her many chances to initiate some contact, but it has never happened. The thing that really got me to write up this thread was that one weekend our schedules clashed and it turned out that we couldn't see each other the whole weekend. Which is no big deal. I thought it would give me the chance to see if she would be the one who initiates either a phone call or an SMS. all I was after was one measly little SMS or even an email JUST SOMETHING. Part of the reason I send them is as a subtle way of showing the other person that I'm thinking about them, and that's they way other people see it as well. So the whole weekend I didn't call her or send her any SMS. Monday comes around and still nothing, we finally chat and she acts as if the weekend was normal. The thing is, during the course of that weekend, I receive plenty of contact with my friends and even people who are not close friends. However nothing from my girlfriend. Maybe she feels its some sort of game? or that the guy is meant to always initiate everything. Dont get me wrong when you are dating, its normal for there to be some bias in the contact, the person who has more interest in the other person would no doubt contact the other person more. We have been exclusive for 3 months, and i'm not even asking for much. I dont want her to be the one to always intiate or even half as much as I do. At the moment all I want her to do is at least do it ONCE. Just so i know you are capable of such emotion I dont know how to bring this up with her, or even if i should? If i do, shes going to feel like its some sort of chore to call me or send an SMS. So guys, what do you think? Am I over-reacting, expecting too much?
OverThinker Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Well my situation is similar but differant. My GF and I talked about it and she pretty much makes all the contact. In the begining it drove me nuts cause she wouldn't call until the end of the day which is still the way it is but I have adapted to it that is just the way she is and It just works out better for her because of her job. I do think you are over reacting in the sence that you havn't talked to her about it. Maybe she thinks thats the way you like it. Does she always answer and or respond, if so I would say you just need to disscuss your feelings with her. Hears an Idea, send her flowers and see if she calls to thank you. If she doesn't then you might just want to find out whats up point blank. If she does then give it some time then just mention during conversation that you liked it when she called you. Just an Idea but the end all is you need to talk to her about it
Not the love ace Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Well, its only been 3 months and I understand completely how you feel. I went through the same thing and it was very annoying because my ex pretty much NEVER called me, sent me an E-mail or anything. I can go 2 weeks without contacting her and she never did for me. However, in the end I just gone to find out she's not the most thoughtful person but I knew she loved me. So don't get too upset just yet. Give it a little more time and like the guy before me said, give her flowers. Or better yet go no-contact for about a full week, send her flowers and see if she contacts you. If she does then you know she loves you, if not then you definitely should speak to her about it. Or just go about 1-2 weeks without contacting her to see what she does. Don't get too annoyed though, I know how you feel but for right now don't let it get to you too much. Hope it all works out.
Author steammachine Posted May 18, 2009 Author Posted May 18, 2009 However, in the end I just gone to find out she's not the most thoughtful person but I knew she loved me. Actually its funny you said this, because that's the impression I get. She just doesn't seem to be a very thoughtful person. I have no doubt she likes me, but sometimes it leaves you thinking if she really does care.
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