pure_woman Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Just a little something from me to you I'm the Woman who wanted put my head on your shoulder, not only because I’m sleepy but because I wanted to be closer to you. I'm the Woman who still wanted to be kissed in the rain by you. I'm the Woman who wanted to say, "Okay, but you owe me..." not because I actually wanted something, but because it meant I would get to spend more time with you. I'm the Woman you could take absolutely anywhere and I will have fun because it meant I would be spending time with you. I'm the Woman who is incredibly picky, but when I found someone like you, I wanted to spend my whole life curled up in your arms. I'm the Woman who will never forget all the sweet little things you did for me. I'm the woman who loved & misses your kisses. I'm the woman who you could talk to about anything. I'm the woman who listened attentively when you spoke & remembers every conversation. I'm the woman who loved it when you hugged me for no apparent reason. I'm the woman who loved you for you. I'm the woman who loved the feeling when you took me by the hand without saying a word. I'm the woman who thinks the world of you. All I wanted was to be with u. I'm the woman who had to be all your wife was not. I’m the woman wondering why we found each other, was it meant to end this way? I’m the woman who still had so much to offer you, but unfortunately you couldn’t compromise. I’m the woman whose sadness meant your happiness. But if this is what it takes for your happiness I’m prepared to accept this hurt. I’m the woman who that wanted a word of encouragement, a warm smile, a tight hug every now & again as I’m going though this difficult time. I’m the woman who trusted appearances & didn’t realise they often false. I’m the woman that’s afraid of any future relationships as they hurt too much. I’m the woman who wishes she could turn back the time to a place before the hurt came along. I’m the woman who trusted & believed the things you said. I’m the woman who now knows that “love” only exists until the novelty has worn off. I’m the woman who hoped you could’ve given us a chance to start all over. I’m the woman who’s extremely sad... I’m the woman who feels so betrayed. I’m the woman that hoped she put a smile on your face. I’m the woman who has to get over you. I'm the woman who once I let you into my heart I'm the woman who never will forget you. I’m the woman who needs to put her feelings aside & stop loving you. I'm the woman who can no longer be your friend even though you asked me t stay in your life forever....I can't be your friend coz I'm still inlove with you. I'm the woman who needs to pick up the pieces of her life & learn to smile again. I’m Me....And I have to let you go........
NoIDidn't Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 What a sad, and typical, poem after an affair ends. Why did it end?
MizzBlue72 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I think this explains everything for an OW when the affair ends and how we feel, or felt, at that time. It is grieving - like a death. People that have not been the OW do not understand ... say what you want to, but unless you have been the OW, you don't. And yes - I know everyone will say you need to look out for you, etc. but it was a lovely poem. Thank you for posting this.
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I think this explains everything for an OW when the affair ends and how we feel, or felt, at that time. It is grieving - like a death. People that have not been the OW do not understand ... say what you want to, but unless you have been the OW, you don't. Its funny you say this. LOL. Therapists have likened the discovery of an affair to making the BS feel like a death of sorts. But when a BS posts it, its torn apart to making the BS some kind of weak *victim* or one with a victim-mentality. The end of any relationship is like a death. But some deaths we don't have to experience willingly. The end of an affair that both people took part in willingly is one such situation. Sad? yes. Painful? Yes. But it didn't have to be.
jj33 Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Pure that is a lovely heartfelt poem. Its too bad some people cant keep their agendas to themselves. ignore them. I hope you are feeling better soon.
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Pure that is a lovely heartfelt poem. Its too bad some people cant keep their agendas to themselves. ignore them. I hope you are feeling better soon. That's pretty strong language. What agenda do you speak of? Its pretty sad that just because some don't see the "beauty" of said poem, its recommended that they be "ignored". Oh well. It is a heartfelt poem, but its coming from a very skewed place (the woman that had to be all that his W wasn't? skewed) . A person/poster doesn't have to have an agenda to be able to point that out.
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I didnt mean you. I'm pissy tonight, sorry. You posted after me, so I took it personally. I'm usually not this bad. I feel for the OP, I hope she gets over him and writes some poetry about how she moved on to a great life. Affairs hurt everyone involved. Even when the OP "gets" what they wanted out of the deal, its still bittersweet.
hopesndreams Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I didnt mean you. is it moi? If I had an agenda my posting would have been in much greater detail and to be honest, it would be 100 pages long! The being everything that the wife couldn't struck a chord with me, that's all. The OW is being used in most cases (agreed?) and the best way to do this is by playing on her sympathies of the wife not being there for him and who knows what else to sucker her in to being the perfect woman for him. She does her best to be the answers to MM's prayers, make him happy and all the while he still luvs it up with his wife who's at home, waiting for him.
White Flower Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 It is a very heartfelt poem and pure is obviously suffering enough pain. Of course she believed what she was told as MM was very convincing to be sure. I'm the woman who had to be all your wife was not. Even pure understands the wife was probably a good woman who felt exactly about her H the way pure did; she is only attempting to relate back to the MM in her poem that she tried to fill whatever need he was claiming was missing in the M. (Sorry pure if I speak on your behalf--I'm just analyzing your poem;) ). In fact, everything in that poem could have been written by a wife about trying to win him back from the OW. But this was not pure's story. Her story is her own. In the end I believe pure has come to see her exMM in the light. She is grieving the loss of the man she thought she knew.
Kamikaze Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Just a little something from me to you I'm the Woman who wanted put my head on your shoulder, not only because I’m sleepy but because I wanted to be closer to you. I'm the Woman who still wanted to be kissed in the rain by you. I'm the Woman who wanted to say, "Okay, but you owe me..." not because I actually wanted something, but because it meant I would get to spend more time with you. I'm the Woman you could take absolutely anywhere and I will have fun because it meant I would be spending time with you. I'm the Woman who is incredibly picky, but when I found someone like you, I wanted to spend my whole life curled up in your arms. I'm the Woman who will never forget all the sweet little things you did for me. I'm the woman who loved & misses your kisses. I'm the woman who you could talk to about anything. I'm the woman who listened attentively when you spoke & remembers every conversation. I'm the woman who loved it when you hugged me for no apparent reason. I'm the woman who loved you for you. I'm the woman who loved the feeling when you took me by the hand without saying a word. I'm the woman who thinks the world of you. All I wanted was to be with u. I'm the woman who had to be all your wife was not. I’m the woman wondering why we found each other, was it meant to end this way? I’m the woman who still had so much to offer you, but unfortunately you couldn’t compromise. I’m the woman whose sadness meant your happiness. But if this is what it takes for your happiness I’m prepared to accept this hurt. I’m the woman who that wanted a word of encouragement, a warm smile, a tight hug every now & again as I’m going though this difficult time. I’m the woman who trusted appearances & didn’t realise they often false. I’m the woman that’s afraid of any future relationships as they hurt too much. I’m the woman who wishes she could turn back the time to a place before the hurt came along. I’m the woman who trusted & believed the things you said. I’m the woman who now knows that “love” only exists until the novelty has worn off. I’m the woman who hoped you could’ve given us a chance to start all over. I’m the woman who’s extremely sad... I’m the woman who feels so betrayed. I’m the woman that hoped she put a smile on your face. I’m the woman who has to get over you. I'm the woman who once I let you into my heart I'm the woman who never will forget you. I’m the woman who needs to put her feelings aside & stop loving you. I'm the woman who can no longer be your friend even though you asked me t stay in your life forever....I can't be your friend coz I'm still inlove with you. I'm the woman who needs to pick up the pieces of her life & learn to smile again. I’m Me....And I have to let you go........ That is exactly how I feel! Kami
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Now I'm confused. How does the OW feel "betrayed"? Deceived, maybe. But betrayed?
Enema Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Don't feel too bad honey. Plenty of other MM in the sea!
White Flower Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Now I'm confused. How does the OW feel "betrayed"? Deceived' date=' maybe. But betrayed?[/quote'] Not speaking for pure but some are promised that he will leave the W and marry her. It is a betrayal of the heart but not a betrayal of a contract.
White Flower Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Don't feel too bad honey. Plenty of other MM in the sea! Not sure she'll go down that road again. That much pain teaches ya something.
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Not speaking for pure but some are promised that he will leave the W and marry her. It is a betrayal of the heart but not a betrayal of a contract. That's not a betrayal. That's deception, like I said in that question. Its deception especially as most of the time these guys never intended to leave their marriages. So they lie about that to get what they want. I guess deception is a version of betrayal, but I tend to think of this as more of a deception towards the OP a betrayal towards the spouse. KWIM?
White Flower Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 That's not a betrayal. That's deception, like I said in that question. Its deception especially as most of the time these guys never intended to leave their marriages. So they lie about that to get what they want. I guess deception is a version of betrayal, but I tend to think of this as more of a deception towards the OP a betrayal towards the spouse. KWIM? Yes I think I do. I suppose it depends on one's definition of betrayal. A trust can be betrayed as well as a contract or marriage. When an Ow runs and tells the W everything oftentimes the MM claims she betrayed his trust. A betrayal to me is going back on one's word. (Not to digress, but usually this is an unspoken promise so if it is a betrayal its premise is implied and not contracted). Last week my daughter promised not to use her cell phone at school. What did she do immediately after getting out of the car? You bet, she used it to text someone. She betrayed my trust in her. She used deception to be sure but she betrayed me.
Author pure_woman Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Thanks for all the replies, even the not so good ones...Its what I needed to hear that I don't often want to admit to myself...I made some mistakes in my life, this being one of them...But life is a lesson...Hopefully someday I can write a poem about how it all turned our
Author pure_woman Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 And this is to " NO I DIDN'T...U are an extremely angry lady....never have anything nice to say to anyone on any of these posts. If u don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all....Life happens to everyone & sometimes we dont make the best choices...If u have only made great decisions in your life then I agree you have every right to act & say the things you do.
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 And this is to " NO I DIDN'T...U are an extremely angry lady....never have anything nice to say to anyone on any of these posts. If u don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all....Life happens to everyone & sometimes we dont make the best choices...If u have only made great decisions in your life then I agree you have every right to act & say the things you do. Me? Angry? Just because I don't think that you've been betrayed and said so? I have every right to act and say the things I do regardless of the way that I've lived my life. I'm sure you don't agree, but that's not my problem. If something I say is actually offensive, please feel free to hit the Alert Button on me and report it. Otherwise, woman-up. You are barking up the wrong tree.
Soaked Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 pure_woman, It's a really nice poem... you said everything I felt.
ednadean Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 wow. that totally encapsulated how i feel right now. thank you!
dobler33 Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 i've noticed that there is not always a lot of empathy for the OP in this forum, despite the fact that it is specifically for "support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner", as stated at the top of the page. i'm wondering why this is?
babydreamer Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 I'm thinking the same thing too. Those people shouldn't even reply to "the other man/woman" thread but should be reading other thread instead. These people can get so mean and RUDE sometime!
White Flower Posted May 27, 2009 Posted May 27, 2009 Dobler, it's an ongoing discussion around here. OW/OM feel that oftentimes we are being invaded for the purposes of taking the heat for what some BS (betrayed spouses) went through. It's like they can't reach the OW/OM in their own case so they lash out at us. I usually post here, though, because in the infidelity section they can be even worse to us. I'm a fOW (former OW) and I still catch the heat but most here see that I try to see all perspectives and I'm pretty respected for it. You seem pretty intelligent and compassionate so I'm sure you won't have too many problems.
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