Why can I never get women my own age?

[mike1988]

I am 20 yrs old, currently in U.S. Air Force, I play guitar, I'm confident but not cocky, outgoing and not shy, I am very nice but not a pushover, and I know I'm not THAT bad looking.

 

Why is it that I've only had sex once, and the woman was 35 yrs old, and I can't get girls my own age? I can't ever imagine a woman wanting me...or thinking I was hot and wanting me sexually (aside from one meetup on the internet). Why do all the dirtbags get all the girls and I'm left alone?

 

Older women keep telling me how hot I am and some even want me...but the ones in their 20s totally ignore me...I never get flirted with or looked at.

 

Where is the passion? Where is the "let's go back to my place" after a nice dinner date and then breakfast in the morning like you see in movies? When does that happen?

 

This is me, by the way...I don't smoke...just had one in that picture...

 

http://w2.socialhi.com/img/socialme/n/011/479/022.jpg

http://w2.socialhi.com/img/socialme/n/011/615/838.jpg

[shoesies05]

well- do you put yourself out there? like ever approach girls? cuz most chicks like to be the ones getting chased, not the other way around.

 

And if you do approach them, how do you do it? and what type of girl are you looking for? it's more difficult to find "the right ones" rather than the ones that are drunk and horny.

[mike1988]

well- do you put yourself out there? like ever approach girls? cuz most chicks like to be the ones getting chased, not the other way around.

 

And if you do approach them, how do you do it? and what type of girl are you looking for? it's more difficult to find "the right ones" rather than the ones that are drunk and horny.

 

Yes, I ask them out. All kinds. A 39 yr old single mom. A 25 yr old office secretary. All the same. I ask during conversation "You wanna grab something to eat sometime?" or something that that. We go out to eat and it's like they like me...but don't like me. I can't ever imagine a woman "wanting" me. Then the ones who are my age or younger (18-21) show no interest at all.

[SoulSearch_CO]

This is me, by the way...I don't smoke...just had one in that picture...

You don't smoke? Was the other pic in the other thread for a cigarette ad, then? LOL

[mike1988]

You don't smoke? Was the other pic in the other thread for a cigarette ad, then? LOL

 

Okay...okay...once in a while. I won't be able to smoke in Military training in a few weeks, so I don't consider myself a smoker.

[thegoodlife]

Okay...okay...once in a while. I won't be able to smoke in Military training in a few weeks, so I don't consider myself a smoker.

 

MAYBE they catch on to the fact you lie about being a smoker while lighting one up in front of them:p

[SoulSearch_CO]

LOL. OK. So, I have a couple of thoughts on this one. Where are you meeting these women? Meaning, what opportunities do you have to be "out there" for women to SEE you? Let me break it down for you. I work nights all by myself. Other than that, when I leave the house, it's to go out running, or shopping-type-activities. I really didn't have the greatest opportunities for meeting men. That's why I did online dating. It was a lot easier to meet a group of like-minded men (single, ready to date, etc). That's how I ended up meeting my BF. If you're not participating in any activities that put you out there to meet like-minded women, how are they supposed to find you? Have you tried online dating at all?

 

It's possible that girls your age are pretty wishy-washy. A good majority of them may not BE relationship-minded. Besides, I'd say at that age, they tend to go for the exciting bad-boy-type. You look like a nice enough guy. I'm not saying turn into an ***hole just to get the girls. I'm just saying that it may take a few years for the girls your age to "wise up" and really appreciate you. Girls tend to tire of bad boys as they get older - hence the older women appreciating you.

 

Is it possible you are maybe too nice? Do you get friend-zoned by women when you date them? You can search around for threads about what to do about this - I won't belabor the point. On the other hand, are you maybe kind of jerky? I have no idea what kind of person you are, I'm just putting the possibilities out there.

 

I think you are attractive, but I wouldn't date a smoker. That stuff permeates EVERYTHING.

 

You say you're soon to be in the military...what have you been doing for employment in the meantime? Are you financially stable? Do you still live with your parents (I'm not saying this is BAD, considering your age, but some girls could look down on that)?

 

Need more details.

[WhyYesThankYou]

You don't smoke? Was the other pic in the other thread for a cigarette ad, then? LOL

 

Nicely spotted, SoulSearch.

 

Maybe women are picking up on the fact that the OP is a liar? Dishonesty is always such a turn-on.

[shoesies05]

LOL. OK. So, I have a couple of thoughts on this one. Where are you meeting these women? Meaning, what opportunities do you have to be "out there" for women to SEE you? Let me break it down for you. I work nights all by myself. Other than that, when I leave the house, it's to go out running, or shopping-type-activities. I really didn't have the greatest opportunities for meeting men. That's why I did online dating. It was a lot easier to meet a group of like-minded men (single, ready to date, etc). That's how I ended up meeting my BF. If you're not participating in any activities that put you out there to meet like-minded women, how are they supposed to find you? Have you tried online dating at all?

 

It's possible that girls your age are pretty wishy-washy. A good majority of them may not BE relationship-minded. Besides, I'd say at that age, they tend to go for the exciting bad-boy-type. You look like a nice enough guy. I'm not saying turn into an ***hole just to get the girls. I'm just saying that it may take a few years for the girls your age to "wise up" and really appreciate you. Girls tend to tire of bad boys as they get older - hence the older women appreciating you.

 

Is it possible you are maybe too nice? Do you get friend-zoned by women when you date them? You can search around for threads about what to do about this - I won't belabor the point. On the other hand, are you maybe kind of jerky? I have no idea what kind of person you are, I'm just putting the possibilities out there.

 

I think you are attractive, but I wouldn't date a smoker. That stuff permeates EVERYTHING.

 

You say you're soon to be in the military...what have you been doing for employment in the meantime? Are you financially stable? Do you still live with your parents (I'm not saying this is BAD, considering your age, but some girls could look down on that)?

 

Need more details.

 

gotta agree...

[mike1988]

LOL. OK. So, I have a couple of thoughts on this one. Where are you meeting these women? Meaning, what opportunities do you have to be "out there" for women to SEE you? Let me break it down for you. I work nights all by myself. Other than that, when I leave the house, it's to go out running, or shopping-type-activities. I really didn't have the greatest opportunities for meeting men. That's why I did online dating. It was a lot easier to meet a group of like-minded men (single, ready to date, etc). That's how I ended up meeting my BF. If you're not participating in any activities that put you out there to meet like-minded women, how are they supposed to find you? Have you tried online dating at all?

 

It's possible that girls your age are pretty wishy-washy. A good majority of them may not BE relationship-minded. Besides, I'd say at that age, they tend to go for the exciting bad-boy-type. You look like a nice enough guy. I'm not saying turn into an ***hole just to get the girls. I'm just saying that it may take a few years for the girls your age to "wise up" and really appreciate you. Girls tend to tire of bad boys as they get older - hence the older women appreciating you.

 

Is it possible you are maybe too nice? Do you get friend-zoned by women when you date them? You can search around for threads about what to do about this - I won't belabor the point. On the other hand, are you maybe kind of jerky? I have no idea what kind of person you are, I'm just putting the possibilities out there.

 

I think you are attractive, but I wouldn't date a smoker. That stuff permeates EVERYTHING.

 

You say you're soon to be in the military...what have you been doing for employment in the meantime? Are you financially stable? Do you still live with your parents (I'm not saying this is BAD, considering your age, but some girls could look down on that)?

 

Need more details.

 

I just go to class...and maybe a store or coffee place here and there. Where did you meet people before the internet came around? I mean...right now I'm awaiting shipping to training in Texas so I don't work...just go to class. There just seems to be no interest in me whatsoever by other women and it makes me get down sometimes, especially when I see them dating dirtbags who usually end up in jail. Should I begin acting bad?

[SoulSearch_CO]

I just go to class...and maybe a store or coffee place here and there. Where did you meet people before the internet came around? I mean...right now I'm awaiting shipping to training in Texas so I don't work...just go to class. There just seems to be no interest in me whatsoever by other women and it makes me get down sometimes, especially when I see them dating dirtbags who usually end up in jail. Should I begin acting bad?

OK, part of the problem could be that you don't pay much attention to people when they're trying to have a conversation with you. I asked at least 7 more questions in my post that you didn't address at all. I'm still completely in the dark as to "why" and I'm losing interest.

 

Before the internet, I met my XH on the job. Other than that, I've met people through school (when I was in HS) and through friends. Seeing as how I'm in an area that I am not native to and it's hard to meet people (even for friendship) at my age (29) if all you do is work by yourself...it was hard for me to meet people. This is the first job I've had that I work by myself on graveyard shift.

 

I guess if it's something you REALLY want, you'll take a deeper look at yourself, take into account some of the things I've said, maybe try and answer some of the questions (even if you refuse to do so here), and take action.

 

Maybe part of the problem is that you are evasive and aloof when people try and take an interest in you.

[mike1988]

OK, part of the problem could be that you don't pay much attention to people when they're trying to have a conversation with you. I asked at least 7 more questions in my post that you didn't address at all. I'm still completely in the dark as to "why" and I'm losing interest.

 

Before the internet, I met my XH on the job. Other than that, I've met people through school (when I was in HS) and through friends. Seeing as how I'm in an area that I am not native to and it's hard to meet people (even for friendship) at my age (29) if all you do is work by yourself...it was hard for me to meet people. This is the first job I've had that I work by myself on graveyard shift.

 

I guess if it's something you REALLY want, you'll take a deeper look at yourself, take into account some of the things I've said, maybe try and answer some of the questions (even if you refuse to do so here), and take action.

 

Maybe part of the problem is that you are evasive and aloof when people try and take an interest in you.

 

I tried online dating once, and ended up having a sex filled weekend with a 35 yr old woman, but she lives hours away and has kids so it wasn't more than just a fun dating weekend.

 

I am not insecure, especially in person...but I don't come across cocky or arrogant either. I am very outgoing, I listen and I am not shallow. I'll date a chubby 27 yr old just as much as a skinny 41 yr old. I guess I just want passion and for me, every date ends on the same "kiss on the cheek" note with the woman not seeming to "want me". I don't understand how guys end up having women go nuts for them and dating and having erotic relationships right away. I can't picture a woman meeting me and thinking "I wanna tear his clothes off!" I guess deep down, I want to be wanted and I want to know I'm wanted.

 

I'm sure I've bumped into a girl at a coffee shop or at school who has thought "Man that guy is so freakin' hot" but how would I know, ya know?

[jayOG]

First no girl wants you to say you are not shallow or picky, that's pretty insulting. If you were truly confident you wouldn't be saying i'm confident or be asking for advice, you definitely have some insecurities. Also the military thing means you are going away? for how long? that puts a road block up for you since they know you won't be around.

 

Guys end up with girls going insane over them because they know exactly what buttons to push. You are pushing all the wrong buttons and giving off the wrong signals.

 

Seriously you have some issues to sort out. I'm not trying to be offensive, but it is what it is.

[OverThinker]

Also the military thing means you are going away? for how long? that puts a road block up for you since they know you won't be around.

 

 

I Agree, Why are you trying to get into a new relationship when you are just getting ready to leave? And on the being wanted thing this took me a while to learn but girls (young women) want to be chased without being wanted it's a tricky formula. You have to show them that you want to take them home but at the same time could care less if you did or didn't you'll just move on to the next one. Of course this only applys if your looking to take a girl home for the night. As stated before it is a confedence thing amd you sound just like me when I was your age Girls and women can sence that "why don't girls like me" thought that is in your head and it is a turn off.

 

Seriously though you shouldn't be trying to get serious right now just have fun and if all you can get is 35 year old women then have fun and enjoy them I personally hate the whole age thing (within legal limits of course) when a good thing is put in front of you, you pick it up and run with it.

 

Good Luck:D

[Trialbyfire]

An attitude of not caring one way or another, will only pull the insecure types who will then try to "get" you. There's a direct correlation between interest shown and interest returned, if you're pursuing someone. Having said that, if a girl isn't interested, you can climb the Empire State building to try to impress her and she won't even look at you.

[MeaganRaye]

mike, maybe it's because you seem a bit mature for a 20 year old, which is why older girls are more attracted to you than the younger ones. The way you carry yourself, is more sophisticated than the average 18-21 year old, so older girls are more drawn to you than the younger ones. You say you had a 25 year old approach you, that's pretty young or is that too old for you? That's only a 5 year difference

[mike1988]

mike, maybe it's because you seem a bit mature for a 20 year old, which is why older girls are more attracted to you than the younger ones. The way you carry yourself, is more sophisticated than the average 18-21 year old, so older girls are more drawn to you than the younger ones. You say you had a 25 year old approach you, that's pretty young or is that too old for you? That's only a 5 year difference

 

I am very mature for my age. I was a male model back in 1998 and 1999, when I was only 9-11 years old. (What the hell happened, right? ) and I do come across older. Some guy thought I was 27, not from my looks but by the way I carried myself.

 

I've only had sex once...with a 35 yr old. That was in March and it feels like forever...especially since I was sick with the flu and was unable to get "into" it and finish myself. (Although she was pleased)

 

I've dated a 39 yr old and a 25 yr old as well. By dated, one date each. If younger girls want older guys so bad...shouldn't they really be attracted to a younger guy who comes across older? I asked out a 19 yr old girl...but she declined. No interest at all. I mean...not even really talking at our breaks during class.

[MeaganRaye]

I am very mature for my age. I was a male model back in 1998 and 1999, when I was only 9-11 years old. (What the hell happened, right? ) and I do come across older. Some guy thought I was 27, not from my looks but by the way I carried myself.

 

I've only had sex once...with a 35 yr old. That was in March and it feels like forever...especially since I was sick with the flu and was unable to get "into" it and finish myself. (Although she was pleased)

 

I've dated a 39 yr old and a 25 yr old as well. By dated, one date each. If younger girls want older guys so bad...shouldn't they really be attracted to a younger guy who comes across older? I asked out a 19 yr old girl...but she declined. No interest at all. I mean...not even really talking at our breaks during class.

 

Well, I wouldn't put 25 in the bracket of an older woman, especially since you're 20 yrs old, but the 39 yr old woman yeah is an older woman in comparison to you.

 

Do you find that you have more in common with younger girls which is why you want their approval so much?

[justin180]

I'm glad if I couldn't get women my own age. I actually prefer older women anyway. At least the ones who've been married & divorce & would have a strong inclination to control my life since I'm younger.

[You'reasian]

I am 20 yrs old, currently in U.S. Air Force, I play guitar, I'm confident but not cocky, outgoing and not shy, I am very nice but not a pushover, and I know I'm not THAT bad looking.

 

Why is it that I've only had sex once, and the woman was 35 yrs old, and I can't get girls my own age? I can't ever imagine a woman wanting me...or thinking I was hot and wanting me sexually (aside from one meetup on the internet). Why do all the dirtbags get all the girls and I'm left alone?

 

Nothing wrong with persuing an older woman. They play less games, tend to be easier to talk to and are hella fun.

 

You're still very young, not even old enough to hit the bar scene here in the States. That's usually a good place to meet women - for dating.

[mike1988]

Nothing wrong with persuing an older woman. They play less games, tend to be easier to talk to and are hella fun.

 

You're still very young, not even old enough to hit the bar scene here in the States. That's usually a good place to meet women - for dating.

 

Am I a good lookin' enough guy to get a girl though?

[You'reasian]

Am I a good lookin' enough guy to get a girl though?

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my friend. Instead of asking us - go out and test yourself. Meet some women and have fun!

[mike1988]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' date=' my friend. Instead of asking us - go out and test yourself. Meet some women and have fun![/quote']

 

Everyone says that...as if it is easy to at the very least get laid

[westernxer]

the ones who are my age or younger (18-21) show no interest at all

 

They never do.

[burning 4 revenge]

Oh quit being such a baby

 

Do you have any idea how badly I want to f*ck 35 year old women