dsfd

[Wrenikle]

So, am I on a path of destruction???

Hello all, this is my first post at loveshack, I found this sight by typing "how do I profess my love?" into ask.com. I will explain why I typed this later.

 

Anyhow let me give you the skinny. I am 37 years old. My girl is 28 years old. We are both drug addicts, crack, heroin. We are both clean right now, me because I am sick of it and finally got out of the middle of "crack alley" in the hood. Her because of a warrant for impersonation and possesion. Heh this gets good folks, from an outsiders point of view.

 

I originally met B(anonymity ya know) while drinking beer one night in the hood. B was ummm.....a working girl. When I saw her I immediatly couldn't stop staring, and I don't have lose morals, been with 3 women in my life, her being one of em. So she noticed me stepping on my tongue and approached me.

 

"Hey, you smoke?", she asked.

"Hell yeah!!!", I babbled.

"Well I gotta twenty....." she tempted.

 

Needless to say folks that was almost a year ago. Long and short of it B used my place to come smoke and get away from the street, I always treated her like another human being, numerous times she spent the night with no strings attached. I simply am not like that.

 

Fast forward to christmas time. I was at work and received a call from B. She was acting all friendly and flirty, i'm like WTF does she want. I had developed a bad taste for her after too many nights of her running in and out of my apartment getting twenty bucks every two hours.

 

So I blew her off. Next day she calls and I am in a better mood, she explained to me that she just got out of jail and was released to a halfway house, which she got kicked out of for shooting. She told me she was staying a block away. She wanted to get together with me. SHe said I was the only one on the avenue that treated her with dignity, never asked for anything.

 

Now let me tell you, this woman has been using for only a few years and has not been living the average hooker lifestyle. I say this that way because she still has her looks, and most of her mind |

 

This was xmas eve. I was attracted to this girl, just not her lifestyle, when I heard she wasn't trying to pursue the lifestyle I was hooked. Told her the potential to squish my heart like a bug was real, she said I had the same potential. We went out for a month, lived in a 20x20 room....shared a bathroom with other boarders in the building. Basically the landlord didnt like her, we never had any space and we fell apart.

 

She moved back down the block. I lost my job. I got evicted. Yet she still continued. And I was distraught. Stalking her. Longing to make it right. She was out of reach. At first I did what I could. Give her what little money and crack I could steal or hustle. And then we went to fleetwood mac.......wow we were still in love. Two months ago.

 

So finally I lost my place.....moved to the suburbs with family. One month ago I heard from a friend that B was in jail and wanted to send me a message that she was locked up. I immediatly relayed to her that I would prepay my cell phone to accept jail calls. Two days later she calls......OMG!!!!!!!! I remember this vividly.

 

"I treated you so bad, you didn't deserve any of it, you deserve so much more, and i'm so sorry." she genuinly spoke.

 

I was in the car with two friends with a crack pipe. I immediatly started balling and told her I needed her but I wasn't going to ball with these dudes in the car. SHe understood, but later I found out she thought I was faking, but the female who relayed the message to me from jail told her that basically I was desperatly in love with her.

 

So for the past month we have been talking everyday. I haven't heard someone tell me they love me as much as she has in my life. And marriage is on the table. She realizes i've always had respect for her, and would put myself infront of a knife for her, because I did when she was getting attacked by another hooker. I would die for her........

 

And I don't know after typing this why I posted. I answer my own question. If we both stay sober this is destined to work. God has put me in her path for a reason. I truly feel as if B is my soulmate. She is the ying to my yang........If she isn't around I don't want to be..........plain and simple

 

Thanks for listening folks........feel free to post........I know right now my perceptions a little skewed to say the least..........have a great night!!!!!

 

Shawn

 

ADVERT

[jayOG]

Reminds me of Lil Wayne, Prostitue Flange... Not entirely because she's a working girl...Just cause it's about love. Or Kurupt's, Ho's a housewife. So basically there are two sides. You also got that hero thing going on. Nothing wrong with it, but you have to be willing to give it your all and also realize you stand the chance of losing everything as well.

 

You need to become financially stable, I know it is hard, but once you do, she will be able to get a regular job and you guys could relax. Leaving the life will be difficult... She probably has no marketable skills. So education for the both of you would be important, no trade schools, it's a scam targeting poor people. The both of you need stability.

 

She probably has a very low self-esteem, something you will have to work with her at. Gotta convince her that she deserves more. You like her alot huh. She's looking for her knight. Get tested if you plan on remaining in a long term monagamous relationship.

 

I'm from a poor socioeconomic backgroud as well. Hood life is different from the rest of the world. So my advice is based on a lot of lessons learned and a lot of long nights. Never forget who you are and where you are from.

[shoesies05]

my opinion, just be careful... she's a bit desperate right ow cuz she's locked up... and might think differently once she's out. dont put all your eggs in one basket i guess. thats really all i know to say since i dont know you two and if you two will really try to be better... but its not easy, and i hope you realize that.

 

deff. dont get married tho- that'd be unwise. see how stable you two can be together first... there's no rush to get married, you'll still be together in the meantime, so theres no loss in waiting.