Exeden Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I have a woman friend in NJ who is in a tough domestic situation. Her husband controls all the assets and refuses to share any financial information with her. He has declared personal bankruptcy, after he bankrupted his company, which shifted all the joint credit card debt (10's of thousands of dollars) to her and he has not made any payments so now her credit rating has been destroyed. He then raided her IRA and took all of that money too. She suspects that he is hiding income which could be over $8000 a month, but every time she asks for bank statements, he threatens to stop paying her medical insurance and becomes verbally abusive. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy for ovarian cancer so losing her insurance would be devastating. She runs a small business in the home, but was basically a stay-at-home mom for the past 30 years. She has been struggling to grow the business in order to buy enough food to feed her emotionally disabled son, who is still at home, and to continue her car payment, which is necessary for her business, while she is on chemotherapy. She wants to get a divorce and/or force him to reveal any hidden income, but she has no access to funds to hire an attorney. She may get some settlement from the little equity left in the house, but the mortgage is currently in default and the only reason they are still in the house is that his bankruptcy is not final. She is also afraid that as soon as any legal action is taken, her husband will cut off her insurance and she does not make enough money to pay it herself. She is too proud to ask for help and I am not sure that she fits the criteria for public assistance, but she is trapped in a horrible situation with no way out. She has been holding it together emotionally for many months through a serious illness, but she is on the verge of an emotional collapse. Can you provide some guidance as to how she might be able to get some help? I can't believe she is in a totally unique situation. She truly is at the end of her rope. Please help. She is truly a kind person who doesn't deserve to be trapped in this horrible situation and she has no where to turn.
RinClavin Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I sure hope someone on this forum has some advice for you. My only suggestion would be to suggest contacting a church or other non profit organization for counseling. They might have some suggestions. This sounds like a truly awful situation!
carhill Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 http://www.lsnj.org/ Non-profit legal source for eligible low-income individuals/families in New Jersey.
2sure Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I was going to answer this earlier, but didnt feel I could be very helpful. This woman HAS got to have an attorney to handle these issues. I would go see a Bankruptcy attorney first - because they will know how to immediately protect or at least freeze any assets the marriage has a claim on. They would also be able to see access some information from the courts regarding her H's filing. An attorney of this type is geared to working with clients with no money and will be able to arrange payments. He may then refer her to a collegue who handles divorce, so she further protect herself and her insurance. Her H is getting his ducks in order - she needs to do the same. The courts will look on her favorably at this point - both because of the length of the marriage and because of her current illness.
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