datura_noir Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I have just learned through a mutual source (hate that term), that my husbands XOW has, in the course of the last year: Run off temporarily with her married boss to TX for a weeks "vacation" Lost custody of her child to her ex whom she claimed sexually abused the child Has funneled over 50,000 dollars from people to finance her bogus abuse lawsuit, and not paid a cent back Is drinking heavily and doing cocaine on occassion Still asks about my husband The source of all this juicy info is from the OW's brothers' wife!! Who has left the brother (because of his cheating and financial swindling of her and her family). She called my husband today to unload, and he immediately called me. I do expect to be hearing from her soon; my husband gave her my new number so she and I could talk. I hope to give her support and true guidance, and I don't wish to bash OW in this process. I never in a million years expected this bit of drama-I have been keeping myself busy with life and seem to have forgotten for a while, which is good..........
White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I have just learned through a mutual source (hate that term), that my husbands XOW has, in the course of the last year: Run off temporarily with her married boss to TX for a weeks "vacation" Lost custody of her child to her ex whom she claimed sexually abused the child Has funneled over 50,000 dollars from people to finance her bogus abuse lawsuit, and not paid a cent back Is drinking heavily and doing cocaine on occassion Still asks about my husband The source of all this juicy info is from the OW's brothers' wife!! Who has left the brother (because of his cheating and financial swindling of her and her family). She called my husband today to unload, and he immediately called me. I do expect to be hearing from her soon; my husband gave her my new number so she and I could talk. I hope to give her support and true guidance, and I don't wish to bash OW in this process. I never in a million years expected this bit of drama-I have been keeping myself busy with life and seem to have forgotten for a while, which is good.......... Wow, DN, I don't know your story but you sound like a very forgiving and kind person. And the OW in this case sounds like quite a handful. I'm thinking she is lucky to be dealing with someone like you. Good luck with that call and what follows.
Author datura_noir Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 LOL!! Sorry, WhiteFlower for the misunderstanding! I didn't mean to imply that I would be hearing from OW; but the OW's sister-in-law, who was a friend of ours....
White Flower Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 LOL!! Sorry, WhiteFlower for the misunderstanding! I didn't mean to imply that I would be hearing from OW; but the OW's sister-in-law, who was a friend of ours.... Oooooh! My fault, sorry. At any rate, you do seem like a very kind person, and very dignified.
Windy27 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I have just learned through a mutual source (hate that term), that my husbands XOW has, in the course of the last year: Run off temporarily with her married boss to TX for a weeks "vacation" Lost custody of her child to her ex whom she claimed sexually abused the child Has funneled over 50,000 dollars from people to finance her bogus abuse lawsuit, and not paid a cent back Is drinking heavily and doing cocaine on occassion Still asks about my husband The source of all this juicy info is from the OW's brothers' wife!! Who has left the brother (because of his cheating and financial swindling of her and her family). She called my husband today to unload, and he immediately called me. I do expect to be hearing from her soon; my husband gave her my new number so she and I could talk. I hope to give her support and true guidance, and I don't wish to bash OW in this process. I never in a million years expected this bit of drama-I have been keeping myself busy with life and seem to have forgotten for a while, which is good.......... How does that make you feel that your H got involved with such woman? Have you ever got yourself tested for STDs?
Snowflower Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 How does that make you feel that your H got involved with such woman? Have you ever got yourself tested for STDs? How are these questions helpful? I don't know how long ago this A was or any other circumstances surrounding it but I would think these types of questions would be rather difficult for Datura to read/respond to. I'm sure any BS has asked themselves these questions.
2sure Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Karma strikes again. It always does. Be comfortable with that knowledge. You have the advantage now - of a better life and can afford to be gracious. While it is OK and natural to acknowledge that OW has gotten what she deserves...just remember that its not your job to see to it anymore. You will hold yourself above it.
Windy27 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 How are these questions helpful? I don't know how long ago this A was or any other circumstances surrounding it but I would think these types of questions would be rather difficult for Datura to read/respond to. I'm sure any BS has asked themselves these questions. The affair happened within the last two years. What's wrong with my asking whether has been tested for STD or not based on her H's OW's behaviors?
Snowflower Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Really, it was more the first question...about how does it feel to know your husband got involved with a person like that...yada, yada. I'm sure it would feel pretty awful to any BS to know their WS got involved with someone who would act as Datura described in her initial post on this thread. Why point it out? I'm sure she has already asked herself (and her WH) this question many, many times. As for the STD question...it makes sense that you would ask her this, windy. But again, I'm sure Datura has also thought about this and done what she felt was necessary. If the A was two years ago as you say, I'm sure that Datura has dealt with this issue. IMO, these questions seems to just be a 'dig' at the OP of this thread. I'm sure she has enough to deal with concerning this potential phone call from the friend/family member as she described.
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 It sounds like both OW and her brother are unstable. I can't imagine what happened in their life that contributed to that sort of behavior.
Author datura_noir Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 I just hate when I can't follow up on a thread I started! As for STD's, yes I got tested and do so every year-I've never had more than a yeast infection (sorry, TMI). I never expected to hear anything about her, because she lives 1200 miles away, and we don't socialize with her brother anymore. She has gone downhill like a landslide from two years ago, apparently. No, it doesn't make me happy, nor sad. I don't like to wish bad on anyone, even if they wronged me , because it just seems petty. I can honestly say that this news has my husband shocked just a little, because he admitted that while he knew her, she was turning her life over to God, and studying the Bible from start to finish.
NoIDidn't Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I just hate when I can't follow up on a thread I started! As for STD's, yes I got tested and do so every year-I've never had more than a yeast infection (sorry, TMI). I never expected to hear anything about her, because she lives 1200 miles away, and we don't socialize with her brother anymore. She has gone downhill like a landslide from two years ago, apparently. No, it doesn't make me happy, nor sad. I don't like to wish bad on anyone, even if they wronged me , because it just seems petty. I can honestly say that this news has my husband shocked just a little, because he admitted that while he knew her, she was turning her life over to God, and studying the Bible from start to finish. I was going to say something like what your H said, that he was shocked. I don't think that your H got involved with "someone like that". I don't think she was like that before the A. But after the way things turn out, and when people judge us so harshly, some people never manage to forgive themselves for their less desirable behaviors or decisions. That, and sometimes reading the Bible from start to finish can sometimes leave us feeling like "what's the point". Its overwhelming. And some people end up in a negative tailspin over feeling condemned by "God". She'll likely hit rock bottom and then start the slow turn around once she sees the mess her brother made of his life too. I have to admit though, that while I don't wish ill on my H's exOW (EA), I'm not exactly overjoyed to hear good things about her either. I know, I know, bad me. But I'm working on it.
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