How should I handle the "invitation to visit" issue?

[WhyYesThankYou]

Hi, I'm trying to figure out how to handle inviting this guy to visit me, or how to respond to his saying that he wants to visit me...

 

Basically, this is a guy that I hung out with a lot as a friend in 1997. I was dating someone else and getting ready to leave for an internship overseas. I went abroad, and we lost touch.

 

Then late last year, something reminded me of him, so I found a current phone number for him and gave him a call just to say hi. He seemed really, really glad to hear from me and has been calling, texting, emailing me since.

 

The thing is, he's still in the US, and I'm a 13-hour flight away. He's been talking about coming to visit me, and saying that he might be down this way later this year for work, but even if that doesn't happen, he's going to come and see me.

 

My question is: What can I look for to see if he's really serious about coming, or if he's just talking about it? I guess I'm mainly cautious because I was the one to get in contact with him after all these years, and I don't know if he's seriously interested in seeing me, or if he's just having some fun talking to me since I got in touch with him.

 

Also: Since I would really like to see him, how can I show this without looking desperate? I mean, we haven't seen each other in over a decade (except for Skype recently). I don't want to freak him out by looking overly-eager for him to fly half-way 'round the world to see me. But then, he's the one who's bringing it up. So - should I carry on doing what I'm doing, which is saying, "Yes, I think it'd be great for us to meet up! There are some great airfare specials to at the moment." Or should I say something more specific, like suggest a time of year when it would be good for him to come (weather-wise)? I'm worried about looking TOO eager and scaring him off, or looking like I'm not really interested in his visiting and having him drop it.

[KikiW]

Him: "I'd love to come see you later this year!"

 

You: "You know, that would be really great! I would love to hang out again. Have you thought about when a good time for you to visit would be? I would certainly want to make sure no work obligations/holidays/family obligations got in the way."

 

Him: "I hadn't really thought about it, but I know I would like to visit."

 

You: "Okay, well let me know as soon as you have even a tentative idea. I would love to show you this awesome museum/this world-famous park/this fabulous restaurant and it would really suck if I couldn't block out time for you."

 

How's that?

 

PS: As long as you're not literally begging him to come and see you, showing a little enthusiasm may help spur him into action, not look desperate. If you are holding it too close to the vest, he may think you're not as interested.

[WhyYesThankYou]

I like that - it both indicates my interest in seeing him, and gently probes to see whether he's serious about actually meeting. I guess if he doesn't respond in a reasonable period of time with some sort of a timeframe for visiting, then he's just talking.