paddington bear Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Was talking to someone last night and she said that despite dating and sleeping with other guys, her head is still obsessed with one guy who she hasn't seen for 2 years, who she knows is incompatible with her and it doesn't matter how many other guys she's with, that her head is stuck with mr. unsuitable. I think it's generally a good idea to get out there and flirt, date (if possible) other people to get over someone else. However...if your head and heart are still yearning for someone else does it actually help at all, since you can't fully engage with anyone new while still yearning for the former love? So, the question is: Is it better to get over the person you loved first and then date? And if so, how does one forget that former love? Or, is the only way to get over someone you loved to get out there and date other people and hope one of them will simply bounce that ex out of your head and heart?
GroupFitness Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 "The fastest way to get over someone is to get under somebody else"...it has worked for me
xpaperxcutx Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 My ex did a number on me when we tried to get back together. Basically, he tried to get back with me while he was dating another girl. I thought I would never get over him, but I find that dating other people really does take my mind off of him. I've been seeing different people, especially this one guy, so basically I'm too preoccupied to even want to think about my ex. I'm actually quite happy about my current position, where I'm not really looking back at all.
tigressA Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I've done it both ways. My current relationship started as a way for me to get over someone else, and while I love my boyfriend and wouldn't trade him for anyone else, at first our relationship struggled and I had thought a couple of times about leaving him. I think the best way is to get over someone before dating again. If I ever have to make that choice in the future, that's what I will do.
jayOG Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Definitely better to get over somebody, but some people you just never get over. Not that you can't have a perfectly functional relationship.
Cora Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Dating other people seems to work for me. I didn't think I would ever get over him but once I found out I could be happy with other people he was history.
Author paddington bear Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 hmm, I see we're split 50/50 here. In a way I think you should try to get over them first before dating...however, I'm not sure how you do that. And yes I think going on dates reminds you there's other people out there, but I guess they'd have to be good quality dates - otherwise you'd be thinking who's this idiot, oh and here's another idiot, they don't match up to my wonderful ex who I'm now wanting to call....
tinklebell Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 hmm, I see we're split 50/50 here. In a way I think you should try to get over them first before dating...however, I'm not sure how you do that. And yes I think going on dates reminds you there's other people out there, but I guess they'd have to be good quality dates - otherwise you'd be thinking who's this idiot, oh and here's another idiot, they don't match up to my wonderful ex who I'm now wanting to call.... Totally agree. I'm in a similar predicament. Sometimes dating reminds me more of how "good" a crush or an ex is. Maybe for people like us, it's better to get over them first before diving into the dating pool again.
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