No kiss goodbye?

[xpaperxcutx]

Artist guy gave me a hug ( again) at the subway station this morning. I was actually hoping for a kiss or a peck on the cheek? I mean it's not like I had garlic breath or something.

 

 

I spent the previous evening at his place having dinner and wine. He generously made me Italian and I helped with the dishes afterwards. I spend the night cuddling with him and watching a movie, and we just had an amazing night together.

 

But this morning became awkward. He made tea, and we just sat at his dinner table sipping and staring into space. We chatted about his paintings for a bit before he walked me to the station, where we just kind of stood before the train came. And then, he hugged me. It was like a quick hug that didn't even pertain to what one would actually call PDA.

 

This is the third consecutive time he's done this. I feel like I wanted to call him up on this but I'm not exactly sure how to bring it up.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Artist guy gave me a hug ( again) at the subway station this morning. I was actually hoping for a kiss or a peck on the cheek? I mean it's not like I had garlic breath or something.

 

Uh... what are you doing to give him signals?

 

Most guys actually look for an invitation. If your body language sucks... then your not going to get kissed.

[northstar1]

Artist guy gave me a hug ( again) at the subway station this morning. I was actually hoping for a kiss or a peck on the cheek? I mean it's not like I had garlic breath or something.

 

 

I spent the previous evening at his place having dinner and wine. He generously made me Italian and I helped with the dishes afterwards. I spend the night cuddling with him and watching a movie, and we just had an amazing night together.

 

But this morning became awkward. He made tea, and we just sat at his dinner table sipping and staring into space. We chatted about his paintings for a bit before he walked me to the station, where we just kind of stood before the train came. And then, he hugged me. It was like a quick hug that didn't even pertain to what one would actually call PDA.

 

This is the third consecutive time he's done this. I feel like I wanted to call him up on this but I'm not exactly sure how to bring it up.

 

Sounds like it's all about him.

[xpaperxcutx]

Sounds like it's all about him.

 

what makes you say that? he actually went to a lot of trouble making me dinner last night.

[xpaperxcutx]

Uh... what are you doing to give him signals?

 

Most guys actually look for an invitation. If your body language sucks... then your not going to get kissed.

 

IDk, it's like when we hug, I feel like I'm getting a buddy hug or something. Maybe it's just me, but I do feel awkward sometimes giving people hugs good bye. I had wanted to go in for a kiss, but then I would like turn sideways on him and just kinda hug? grr... maybe I should be more aggressive next time?

[gopher]

Third date huh....Is he unsure of himself in general or maybe he's not sure you'd allow him to kiss you.

 

I would turn up the flirting on your end, looks and touching him on the arm and such....unless he's completely oblivious, he'll get that and give you a good night kiss or even more.

 

The hug thing can be cool for a while though...on my first date yesterday, she gave me a very nice, warm, long hug. To me, when someone hugs me like that, it gives me the promise of "more to come later"

 

Good luck!

[Untouchable_Fire]

IDk, it's like when we hug, I feel like I'm getting a buddy hug or something. Maybe it's just me, but I do feel awkward sometimes giving people hugs good bye. I had wanted to go in for a kiss, but then I would like turn sideways on him and just kinda hug? grr... maybe I should be more aggressive next time?

 

What is the difference in hugs? Do you expect him to grab your butt?

 

Next time lay your arms over his shoulders... look him straight in the eye and part your lips slightly. Give him your best "kiss me" face.

 

If that doesn't work then he is just an oddball.

[likestolaugh]

Third date huh....Is he unsure of himself in general or maybe he's not sure you'd allow him to kiss you.

 

I would turn up the flirting on your end, looks and touching him on the arm and such....unless he's completely oblivious, he'll get that and give you a good night kiss or even more.

 

The hug thing can be cool for a while though...on my first date yesterday, she gave me a very nice, warm, long hug. To me, when someone hugs me like that, it gives me the promise of "more to come later"

 

Good luck!

 

 

that would usually make sense, but not in this case, since they've already been quite intimate.

 

Honestly I've no idea why he'd do this.... I think you should just ask him, frankly.

[Trialbyfire]

Kissing is an intimacy where men get just as much, if not more, from than women.

 

Have you figured him out yet, xpaper? Have you figured yourself out yet?

 

You want intimacy from this guy. He's not ready for it, if ever. Your move.

[era]

I would feel hurt if after 3 dates involving intimacy, there was no kiss goodbye.

 

I would feel quite used actually.

[xpaperxcutx]

What is the difference in hugs? Do you expect him to grab your butt?

 

Next time lay your arms over his shoulders... look him straight in the eye and part your lips slightly. Give him your best "kiss me" face.

 

If that doesn't work then he is just an oddball.

 

Lol he grabbed my butt last night, but no I would not expect ass grabbing for a goodbye. But maybe a long goodbye kiss? The ones where you linger for a second on each other's lips?

[xpaperxcutx]

that would usually make sense, but not in this case, since they've already been quite intimate.

 

Honestly I've no idea why he'd do this.... I think you should just ask him, frankly.

 

Yes, we've been intimate. So I don't understand why he doesn't kiss me in public or hold my hands. Is he ashamed of me?

[xpaperxcutx]

Kissing is an intimacy where men get just as much, if not more, from than women.

 

Have you figured him out yet, xpaper? Have you figured yourself out yet?

 

You want intimacy from this guy. He's not ready for it, if ever. Your move.

 

The thing is TBF, he kisses me when we cuddle and when we make out. But when it comes time to say our goodbyes it always seem so awkward.

 

No, for a few hours last night I thought I had figured him out, we were both very affectionate while watching a comedy movie. But then like this morning, the silence created so much awkwardness between us. Even while we were walking to the station, I had wanted to grab ahold of his hand, but I wasn't exactly sure if he would like it or not. Occasionally he does give me glances but whenever he looks at me, he seems shy although I know he isn't shy.

 

I don't know what the next move should be. It's one of those tricky stalemates, that require alot of thinking before I make the move that will either help or break me.

[carhill]

Grabbing your ass while he's kissing you is a good sign

 

If there's a next time, and it will be the last time if he doesn't kiss you back, when the date ends or at another appropriate opportunity, like while cuddling, kiss him. If he's not forward into you (where it feels like he's moving into you rather than pulling away), dump him. He's got issues, likely with women as a gender. Maybe he's closeted.

 

Hold....he kisses you while cuddling and not goodbye? That's effing bizarro. Does he have PDA issues?

[Trialbyfire]

xpaper, stop pretzeling. Lose the fear of loss. Take his hand or kiss him, if you want to. You've taken the initiative with everything else, why not with these things? Do you expect someone to change their spots midway?

 

Mixed signals.

[xpaperxcutx]

Grabbing your ass while he's kissing you is a good sign

 

If there's a next time, and it will be the last time if he doesn't kiss you back, when the date ends or at another appropriate opportunity, like while cuddling, kiss him. If he's not forward into you (where it feels like he's moving into you rather than pulling away), dump him. He's got issues, likely with women as a gender. Maybe he's closeted.

 

Hold....he kisses you while cuddling and not goodbye? That's effing bizarro. Does he have PDA issues?

 

Yes, he kisses me and hugs me when we're together, but we never ever kiss when we say goodbye. It's like I'm going in for it, and then he just holds out his arms, turns his head and hugs me.

 

There's no way he's closeted. He's sexy, in a very masculine, a little beard growth kind of way, and he's even hotter without a shirt. But it seems like whenever we're walking outside or getting somewhere, he just doesn't make an effort to reach for my hand.

[paddington bear]

next time you're on a date and kissing and cuddling, you should say something positive about the kissing thing 'I love it when you kiss me like that, next time we say goodbye I want a big kiss just like that to remind me of this moment'..

 

or is that too cheesy???? Guess I'm trying to think of a way where he feels encouraged to give you a sloppy one on parting, rather than you questioning why he's not kissing you, which may make things more awkward and put him on the defensive. Also, sounds like you yourself are a bit awkward on the goodbyes too...sounds like there's a pair of you in it, maybe he's misreading your signals and vice versa. both parties not really sure what to do.

[xpaperxcutx]

xpaper, stop pretzeling. Lose the fear of loss. Take his hand or kiss him, if you want to. You've taken the initiative with everything else, why not with these things? Do you expect someone to change their spots midway?

 

Mixed signals.

 

I know that it's myself as well. I've actually seen him initiate more last night when we're together. We had went up to the roof and he came from behind to hug me and wrap his hands around me. Also he would start kissing me unexpectedly when we're in bed snuggling.

 

I think in a way I am sending out mixed signals. I do pull back a bit. I'm normally not this shy, not even when I'm dating my ex or with new dates. I just need to step it up the next time I see him I guess.

[xpaperxcutx]

next time you're on a date and kissing and cuddling, you should say something positive about the kissing thing 'I love it when you kiss me like that, next time we say goodbye I want a big kiss just like that to remind me of this moment'..

 

or is that too cheesy???? Guess I'm trying to think of a way where he feels encouraged to give you a sloppy one on parting, rather than you questioning why he's not kissing you, which may make things more awkward and put him on the defensive. Also, sounds like you yourself are a bit awkward on the goodbyes too...sounds like there's a pair of you in it, maybe he's misreading your signals and vice versa. both parties not really sure what to do.

I don't know what to call ourselves. Are we friends? FWB? soon- to- be gf/bf? I don't question our titles much when we're together and I don't think about it. But sometimes i really don't know how to act around him. I can be so open with him one minute, and then timid the next.

 

The things that I do question about is whether I'm even making an impression on him. I don't know if I'm coming on too strong or being too much of a tease or whatever that may instill in him mixed signals. I think he's been pretty straight forward from the beginning. I know he likes me enough because he gets turned on whenever he's with me. Then I get this nagging feeling that he's only turned on because I looked a certain way or I was dressed a certain way.

 

I don't think he actually knows the real me.

[Trialbyfire]

I know that it's myself as well. I've actually seen him initiate more last night when we're together. We had went up to the roof and he came from behind to hug me and wrap his hands around me. Also he would start kissing me unexpectedly when we're in bed snuggling.

 

I think in a way I am sending out mixed signals. I do pull back a bit. I'm normally not this shy, not even when I'm dating my ex or with new dates. I just need to step it up the next time I see him I guess.

Did you seal the deal last night?

 

I don't think he actually knows the real me.

More games related to fear of loss. You're so busy putting on a personna for him, that it's at the expense of your personal comfort level. Don't you believe in yourself? If not, that's more important to work on, than reeling in the man.

[carhill]

I do pull back a bit.

 

Well, there ya go

[paddington bear]

I don't know what to call ourselves. Are we friends? FWB? soon- to- be gf/bf? I don't question our titles much when we're together and I don't think about it. But sometimes i really don't know how to act around him. I can be so open with him one minute, and then timid the next.

 

Well that seems to be working, I mean he wants to see you be with you. Maybe he sees your timidity and then confidence as somewhat mysterious and intriguing and that's no bad thing.

 

The things that I do question about is whether I'm even making an impression on him. I don't know if I'm coming on too strong or being too much of a tease or whatever that may instill in him mixed signals. I think he's been pretty straight forward from the beginning. I know he likes me enough because he gets turned on whenever he's with me. Then I get this nagging feeling that he's only turned on because I looked a certain way or I was dressed a certain way.

 

I don't think he actually knows the real me.

 

He's been pretty straight forward from the beginning, but do you feel you know him? This is just that time, that getting to know you time, where you're not sure where you stand, what you are, where it's going. When going through the exact same thing with a guy and was saying similar things as you to a friend and fretting and worrying, she said "Enjoy it! This is the most exciting part of the relationship". Maybe you should try not to worry so much and take a 'you know, let's just see what happens here' attitude. He obviously likes you, is attracted to you, wants to be with you.

 

I think you're beginning to really like this guy and I suspect this is why all these insecurities have arisen from. If you were doing something really wrong then you wouldn't see him for dust, so try to relax and next time at the hug goodbye why not even lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek...at least it's a start!

[Chicago_Guy]

In my own personal experience, artists tend to be weird to begin with. Who knows what is going on in this guy's mind?

[paddington bear]

Hey!!!! I'm an artist and I'm pretty normal...well, normal-ish

[xpaperxcutx]

Did you seal the deal last night?

 

More games related to fear of loss. You're so busy putting on a personna for him, that it's at the expense of your personal comfort level. Don't you believe in yourself? If not, that's more important to work on, than reeling in the man.

We were getting pretty hot and heavy last night, but no we didn't seal the deal. We just played around with ice cream.

 

I don't know why it's so hard being around him. He gives me the jitters where as I only ever feel like this on the first meeting with anyone. Like yesterday, I was nervous and excited to see him even if we had previously met on two occasions, but he always still manages to make me laugh and enjoy myself.

 

In all honesty, he's the actually the first guy that makes me want to work harder.