notalone Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 My boyfriend who was also my best friend has left me...very cruelly. The reason was that his parents did not approve of our relationship (we belong to different religions). Ten days after the break up he started posting pictures of himself with new girlfriend on Facebook! Now I hear, they are living together. Its only been 2 months since the break up for god's sake. I hate my job in the family business and want to move out and go abroad. My parents are extremely unhappy about this. They blame me for abondoning them in their old(ish) age! None of my friends are here anymore...they have all moved out of town...either getting married or getting a career. I am lonely. Although I have a postgraduate degree, I am not confident that I will find a job in this economic climate, after 3 years of working in the family. My mom has been diagnosed with ovarian cyst...which may or may not be malignant. Being the only child, now I am dutybound to take care of her...postponing my rebellious move out of the country. I am 26 and have no idea where my life is going. I have taken to popping down xanax and sleeping off my days...prefer my dreams to my reality. I wake up at nights with a thumping heart and read novels as long as I am awake. Show me a way...tell me what to do...please. I need help!
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 My boyfriend who was also my best friend has left me...very cruelly. The reason was that his parents did not approve of our relationship (we belong to different religions). Ten days after the break up he started posting pictures of himself with new girlfriend on Facebook! Now I hear, they are living together. Its only been 2 months since the break up for god's sake. I hate my job in the family business and want to move out and go abroad. My parents are extremely unhappy about this. They blame me for abondoning them in their old(ish) age! None of my friends are here anymore...they have all moved out of town...either getting married or getting a career. I am lonely. Although I have a postgraduate degree, I am not confident that I will find a job in this economic climate, after 3 years of working in the family. My mom has been diagnosed with ovarian cyst...which may or may not be malignant. Being the only child, now I am dutybound to take care of her...postponing my rebellious move out of the country. I am 26 and have no idea where my life is going. I have taken to popping down xanax and sleeping off my days...prefer my dreams to my reality. I wake up at nights with a thumping heart and read novels as long as I am awake. Show me a way...tell me what to do...please. I need help! Hello there! What religion are you from? If I may ask? I understand sometimes with regard to religion, it can be very hard for the children in those families to break free and disrespect their families wishes for their own happiness, but there are several members on this site, who put their love FIRST. It is always a choice, but the fact your ex could not do this for you, means he is not worth you. It's hard for me to judge this because I am not from that kind of background and can't relate to the family vs love-life traumas that many experience, but I think families should be open-minded and understanding reguardless of race, religion, ethnicity etc. Parents should support their childrens decisions in love so long as the person is a good, kind person. The rest SHOULDN'T matter. He decided it did. You are in the long run, better off, with someone who can fight for you against ANYTHING. What is your job? Your parents are being selfish. You are grown up now and deserve more in life. By leaving you are not abandoning them, you are living. To keep you confined is selfish. I would explain to them how unhappy you are. They are guilt-tripping you to stay. You say your friends have all moved away. You are unhappy because you feel stuck and they are essentially free. You need to push for your freedom. A postgraduate degree will still get you far. I know times are hard but be PERSISTENT. I am sorry to hear about your mothers health. Wait until she discovers the results, do you know how long that will be? Either way she has your father. Do you have any other family nearby or does she have friends she can depend on? Or is it only you and her husband? Her health may restrict you, but if she is fine, then don't let that become another hindrance. You just need change. Easier said that done. What would make you happy? Start small. What kind of job would you like? Where would you like to live? What would make you happy? What are your biggest fears? What is making you most anxious? What do you feel your role is? Who do you feel you are at the moment and who do you want to be? Answer these first if you can
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