OKC Adonis Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Hello everyone. I am new to the forums but I am a man in search of advice. I will try to setup the situation the best I can. I am a 36-year-old male dating a 21 one year old female. This is the youngest girl I have dated in quite some time. We have been dating for almost three months. We were actually working together all the time until recently (that’s how we met). Well at first things were great. She was really in to me and I into her. So much so that we were spending every day together outside of work practically. Well things started to sour a bit and we started arguing. My best guess is too much time together. When I met her she just came out of a long relationship where she didn’t get much out of her boyfriend, she never saw him, they never had sex and they rarely ever did anything. I was the complete opposite, I always wanted to do something and I showed her a lot of attention. When we started fighting, she changed. Later she told me that she was practically obsessed with me when we first met but the fights had hurt her feelings and now she has walls built up. She had me on a pedestal and now I have fallen off it. She no longer sees us as in that “king and queen” stage. I know there was a lot of red flags that went up when I started dating her. Age difference, her on the rebound ect. But we just had this weird clicking bond. Not normal for me by any stretch. We have had a lot of shared experiences growing up and I really could relate to how she is now. She asked for space and now she’s got it. We see each other, but not near as often. She doesn’t do all the little cute things anymore that she used to do for me, but I try to do those things for her. She says she still cares for me a lot, but she is so distant now its hard for me to deal with. What should I do? Should I end the relationship or should I try to fix the wounds and start over? Its painful already, but if I lose her it will hurt for awhile. While its only been 3 months there has been a lot of time and experiences invested in it.
Author OKC Adonis Posted May 11, 2009 Author Posted May 11, 2009 Sorry. I fixed it. It was a cut and paste from word. I don't trust my spelling at times.
TaraMaiden Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Ok, thank you! Sorry...... In brief, I think she is far too young. I also think you are making too much effort in comparison to her effort, and actually, I think that you need to move on. It doesn't matter whether she is looking elsewhere or not. The fact that your own relationship is so faltering, is bad enough. I am afraid I would respectfully break with her.
dreamergrl Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 What started the fights? I agree that she is quite young yet. Especially if she just got out of a relationship, she probably needs to figure out what she wants, and it's hard to do when you're with someone all the time.
Author OKC Adonis Posted May 11, 2009 Author Posted May 11, 2009 At first they were small fights over silly stuff. Like when people have spent too much time with each other. Later they became bigger fights. She would overly flirt with my friends, and after awhile I said something about it. And now lately while being distant she is outright harsh at times.
bean1 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Wow, this reminds me of one of my former relationships. I was 22 and he was 37 (ps. I think he may have called himself an "Adonis" as well). Basically, I outgrew him. He certainly was on a pedestal as well, since he was older and "mature", but as time went on, I realized that a guy that would date such a young (and immature) girl like myself had a bit of growing up to do too! I don't know if this is your situation, but this is how mine was.
dreamergrl Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 You know, I also remember when I was younger and started dating guys that were older and at a different point in their life. It was great at first, and there was a lot of things I liked about it, but I was still young.. wanted to go out, have fun, party, ect ect. I wasn't ready for much more.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Hello everyone. I am new to the forums but I am a man in search of advice. I will try to setup the situation the best I can. I am a 36-year-old male dating a 21 one year old female. This is the youngest girl I have dated in quite some time. We have been dating for almost three months. We were actually working together all the time until recently (that’s how we met). Well at first things were great. She was really in to me and I into her. So much so that we were spending every day together outside of work practically. Well things started to sour a bit and we started arguing. My best guess is too much time together. When I met her she just came out of a long relationship where she didn’t get much out of her boyfriend, she never saw him, they never had sex and they rarely ever did anything. I was the complete opposite, I always wanted to do something and I showed her a lot of attention. When we started fighting, she changed. Later she told me that she was practically obsessed with me when we first met but the fights had hurt her feelings and now she has walls built up. She had me on a pedestal and now I have fallen off it. She no longer sees us as in that “king and queen” stage. I know there was a lot of red flags that went up when I started dating her. Age difference, her on the rebound ect. But we just had this weird clicking bond. Not normal for me by any stretch. We have had a lot of shared experiences growing up and I really could relate to how she is now. She asked for space and now she’s got it. We see each other, but not near as often. She doesn’t do all the little cute things anymore that she used to do for me, but I try to do those things for her. She says she still cares for me a lot, but she is so distant now its hard for me to deal with. What should I do? Should I end the relationship or should I try to fix the wounds and start over? Its painful already, but if I lose her it will hurt for awhile. While its only been 3 months there has been a lot of time and experiences invested in it. I would say this one is over dude. First your playing the nice guy with a young girl... you should know by now that is the best way to get dumped! She is probably rethinking the age difference, plus she is at the age where you can't really rely on her.
era Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Pffftt...arm candy is all she is to you. Even your avatar (on right click) is titled "Roy's newest".
Author OKC Adonis Posted May 11, 2009 Author Posted May 11, 2009 Well I really do care about her. And as far as "Roy's newest". It was my newest pic. Not my newest gf.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I'm barely 20, and I've tried dating older men. Maturity may seem like the bonding force between the age difference, but I wondered why sometimes they don't date women they're own age. I think that unless she actually wants a serious relationship, I mean a long- lasting relationship, she would try her hardest to alleviate the fight situations. Do you see any potential in this being a long term thing? Most guys who date younger women are looking for a good time, just as I would think most women who date guys around their own age if they want a serious R and not a fling.
TaraMaiden Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Pffftt...arm candy is all she is to you. Even your avatar (on right click) is titled "Roy's newest". What is this with the 'right click'?? All I read when I right click on somebody's avatar, is "*<somebody's>* avatar" !!
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