amber711 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Sooo I've known this guy for over a year now. We started talking casually through text about 5 months ago. He has always been really sweet to me and is overall a really great guy. We both had just gotten out of relationships when we started talking. Two months ago we started hanging out more. He comes over a few times a month and we text a few times a week. He also works so much so he doesnt have a lot of free time. He offers to do things for me and always asked how I'm doing. I'm always get compliments too. We have had sex so I'm hoping this isnt just a friends with benefits thing. I can tell he cares and he is always very affectionate when we are together. I'm just confused and don't want to wait around forever.
baker23 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Hi Amber, What you just described, to me entail being in a realtionship, but since the term realtionship has never been explicitly spoken (by either) to describe what you have, then, it gets complicated. I don't think it's fair that you wait forever, but I also think that if he is your friend, and you trust him, you should ask him directly what is his opinion of what you have together. Ask him, because my idea of what constitues a relationship might differ from him, and ultimately, it's what he thinks that is important to you.
carhill Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I'm confused. What are you waiting for? A marriage proposal? Also, what do you want? Does he know what you want? Looking in eyes and opening mouth are very good tools for this
Author amber711 Posted May 11, 2009 Author Posted May 11, 2009 Lol! Well I' m just waiting for him to open up and tell me how he feels. He has no idea how I feel either...it's hard for me to open up to anyone. I guess I'm just hoping he would do it first..We are both on the shy side.
carhill Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Think about this. You share some of the most intimate parts of your body with him and are "shy"? Hmmm.... IMO, don't let this get to be a pattern. Unhealthiness will result, presuming your goal is a healthy LTR and/or marriage eventually.
bean1 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Friends with benefits except friends talk to each other more.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 How many times have you guys jumped in bed together? I think you need to open up if you want exclusivity. There are guys out there who loves the idea of getting sex without the commitment. If you don't express your needs and wants, you'll end up being in a FWB.
bean1 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 How many times have you guys jumped in bed together? I think you need to open up if you want exclusivity. There are guys out there who loves the idea of getting sex without the commitment. If you don't express your needs and wants, you'll end up being in a FWB. Sounds like the OP and this guy haven't even really dated, let alone want or expect exclusivity. I doubt that he brings flowers and takes her out to dinner when he "comes over a few times a week".
xpaperxcutx Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Sounds like the OP and this guy haven't even really dated, let alone want or expect exclusivity. I doubt that he brings flowers and takes her out to dinner when he "comes over a few times a week". It does seem like it. OP, how many " official dates" have you went on with him? Staying in contact with him doesn't constitute relationship status unless he makes the effort to ask you out and court you.
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