Mountainlove Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Hello, as I never had a LDR before this one I am still learning and need your advise. I am together with my boyfriend since 3 months (we met on holiday) and so far we have seen each other once. As I only met him on holiday (and not very long) we had to do the whole getting to know each other process by e-mail and phone and the time we met. As I said I never had anything like that before so I am surprised that so far we have managed to write mails to each other every single day. With mails I noticed that it is just getting harder and harder to find topics because we discussed so much already. Did you experienced the same??? Do you have any advise on some interestings things which I can discuss? I just want to get away from the day to day things-well during a normal week nothing really exciting is happening what I haven't written about before... weekends are different but at weekends we talk on the phone, so by Sunday he know about everything anyway. We can't use a chat option because I don't have internet at home- which is a shame but can't be helped. Talking more on the phone does not work either because of the time difference and work, so e-mail, text and phone are the only options we have. Any ideas and experiences are welcome :-)
Island Girl Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 When we first went LD we used to talk every day for 30 minutes or so because of expense. Sometimes those conversations would turn into hours. But I still would miss him and find times I was alone really hard. I wrote letters to fill the time. I wrote about my day, what I thought, what I did, etc. Even if we had discussed the activities of the day I would go into greater detail. Or I would write about mundane things that we didn't usually talk about - but instead of just describing what happened I'd write about what I thought in detail. My husband would get pages and pages - 14-20 pages per letter describing what was basically my thoughts and reactions to day to day activities, interactions with friends,family, and co-workers etc. He would get these letters and he would read them and there was no change of subject, etc. that happens in conversations. So he read about my feelings, thoughts, reactions, and he got to know me better than my own mother knows me. And I know him like the back of my hand. In that way, LDRs can allow you to get to know someone in ways you may not in close distance. Certainly it can help it happen faster at the very least. Hope that helps.
Lovin a scrapper Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Do you have any advise on some interestings things which I can discuss? I just want to get away from the day to day things-well during a normal week nothing really exciting is happening what I haven't written about before... weekends are different but at weekends we talk on the phone, so by Sunday he know about everything anyway. We can't use a chat option because I don't have internet at home- which is a shame but can't be helped. Talking more on the phone does not work either because of the time difference and work, so e-mail, text and phone are the only options we have. Any ideas and experiences are welcome :-) With my LDR, we use the heck out of text messaging. We also make time during my lunch hour for a phone call every day. We often talk when we have free nights and weekends as well. We also surprise each other with cards and small gifts to each other in the mail which is always fun. We happen to love discussing our everyday lives no matter how boring it might seem to others. It makes us feel closer. We have used that opportunity to know each other more in depth probably more than a closer in proximity relationship. Our constant communication has really made our LDR relatively easy and it made it easy for our visits to each other too! Also with all of the communication we know each other so well now and it will make the transition smoother when I move to be with her in a few months. Any questions you have, I or anyone on here will be happy to answer them for you and good luck with your relationship.
Bearandsue Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 My SO and I talk everyday on messenger voice, on the phone, he doesn't have a cell phone so we don't text. Plus we web cam every night. Do not worry about how mundane your conversations are. I find that talking about the little things, the tiniest detail helps a lot. Like what you had for dinner, what movie you saw, what you wore to work. I talk incessantly about my hair(I'm trying to grow it long) and he listens. It's like if you were living together, he would be seeing you do all these things but seeing that you are so far apart, you talking about these things help him see a bigger picture of you. Makes him see the whole you. Your little nuances and little insights about your personality. I really hope that make sense. You can also take pictures of things that happened in the day and send them with your messages. Good Luck.
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