jadelil25 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I really need your help and honest opinions. Thank you. Me and this guy have been dating/in a relationship for a little while. Things have been great and we hit it off straight away and had a connection. Until yesterday: He received a message out of the blue from his ex saying that she wants to see him. She has not been in contact for a while apart from asking him to forward her post on. They had been together quite a while and she lived with him and still has stuff at his because she moved out in to shared accommodation and did not have room for everything. He said that they had drifted apart for quite a while before the break up happend. He also said that they have broken up in the past for a couple of weeks but they got back together. He also found out before the previous break up that she had been cheating on him. He said that she is a strong and independant person and she moved from London up to here due to work and she did not have any friends in the area. What are the chances that she wants to get back with him? Why is she doing this? Surley if she wanted to be with him she would have been in contact with him more and would have been chasing after him? We sat down and spoke about this a lot yesterday. I tried not to get upset but I did. I asked him to be honest with me. He said that he hopes and wants us to be ok and hopes that all is going to be fine and that it is going to be us. He also said that he can not tell what will happen until he has spoken to her today. He also apologised for this happening and for hurting me and thought that it was over/he had moved on until he got the message yesterday. He also told me/said several times that his feelings for me have not changed and that he likes me a lot and hopes/wants us to work and that ive not done anything wrong. He said that he can feel the strong bond between us and that he has been having a great time with me. What do you think my chances are? I really would appreciate your help. Thank you.
WhyYesThankYou Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 It sounds to me like he's trying to keep you on retainer while seeing if he can rekindle something with the other lady. The red flags are his saying he thought it was over, thought he'd moved on until he heard from her. He's not cutting you off, and he's not telling her to go away because he's found you/is with someone else/has moved on. He's keeping you in the wings while seeing if there's something salvageable with her. If you are both monogamous folk, I don't see this going very well. He's clearly still got an interest in her. I realise that my responses to people's situations tend to be of the dark, "bad news" variety. These are just my views as an independent person given the facts given. I'll be interested in hearing what happens after he speaks with her.
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