he can come to my place but I'm not really welcome at his. wth?

[msodizzy]

We were together for four years, the last year was very difficult (miscarriage, trust issues from my divorce), and I exhibited some anger and was very volatile. So we separated, and now we are trying to work things out.

But due to our volatile relationship in the past, he is having trust issues. He can’t trust me that I will not stalk his current (female) room mate. I ‘ve been to his apartment before a few times in the past but I was banned to visit after an argument with him.

 

Okay, okay, I don’t stalk people but I got curious one time when he watched a movie with her. Of course, I got a bit curious and looked at her info at myspace. So when I confronted him, I made up a story to get even, and told him that she is bisexual and that she has a boyfriend in Colorado.

 

Well, that back fired, he thinks that I’m this psycho woman, doing a research on her. So, now he doesn’t want me to visit him at his apartment. He thinks that I may start a fight with her…. But I know for sure that they’re relationship is purely of house mates.

Except for some weird stuff, He thinks that I the last time I was there at his place, that I intentionally stayed longer to let her know (room mate) that I’m with him. Also, he said that he is uncomfortable to be having sex while she is around.

 

I do love this guy but I our situation is a bit weird…..we call each other every other day on weekdays and see each other on weekends. He stays overnight at my place, and spend the rest of the weekend with me. (so I can tell that he is not with her or anybody).

But thing is…..he is not ready or can’t trust me to be at his place. How can I regain his trust again. Better yet….is he being fair?

[IrishCarBomb]

Summary judgment in favor of your boyfriend: granted.

[msodizzy]

umm...so I'm not entitled to a "fair treatment" then???

[loser101]

not if you are psycho. you are lucky he is still talking to you. god knows why

[msodizzy]

LOSER101....yes you....not me.

 

No I'm not psycho. I was taunted by this person and had a miscarriage. Then he moved out....he still wants a relationship with me as he continues to see me but at his own convenience.... where and when he dictates :-(.

 

He prevents me to visit his place now, I visited to make him dinner before while he studies for his exams. When I asked about his room mate and told him that I was uncomfortable when I found out that they went out to watch a movie together (a month ago). He made it known that I'm unwelcome.

 

so can you blame me.....I'm in a relationship with him. Why is he protecting her?

[sotired]

So dump him already?

 

Who dates a guy with a female roommate anyway? Recipe for disaster.

[LucreziaBorgia]

he continues to see me but at his own convenience.... where and when he dictates :-(.

 

He has downgraded you to a FWB. It is a relationship of sorts, but nowhere near what you are thinking it is.

 

This is usually the next to the last step before he breaks off things altogether.

 

He is so far down the path now, that anything you do to try to prevent the ending will only escalate it further.

 

You have a choice: continue sliding down until you hit bottom, or get off now before that happens.

[2sure]

To be honest, you sound like a lot of drama - and I'm sure he participated too. It is understandable, given your previous actions, that he does not want to compromise his living arrangement at home.

 

Words dont mean anything, its actions thats count. Telling him you may have had a psycho moment or two but that you are not a psycho needs to be backed up with action.

 

Be honest. Apologize to his roommate. Apologize for any arguments you and he subjected her to, apologize for being insecure about their relationship , and tell her you want to put that in the past.

 

That would be the right, mature, and non dramatic thing to do.

 

He still may prefer to sleep over your house on weekends however - especially if you dont have a roommate or have a larger living space.