UCLAMike Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I have never felt this way in my life ever before and it scared the crap out of me. I felt this sudden anxiety and feeling of complete paranoia and desperation a month after the break up, when I realized it was over for good. Since then, sadness was basically the theme of my life for the past 8 months, and every once in a while there are spurs of intense pain, feeling of anxiety, insecurity about life, God, and death. Also feeling life is meaningless and hopeless etc. Does anybody else feel this or felt this? I don't feel it all the time but it comes and goes. Call it a quarter-life crisis, I don't know. But I've been having a lot of questions and doubts about aging, and how we eventually all just die. Completely weird and irrational thought I never thought about before the break up. I haven't felt it in months, but I felt it last night and I couldn't sleep. It's been 9 months since the break up and 2 months NC. People tell me 9 months isn't long at all considering we were seriously thinking about moving in and marriage. I just want to know this is something we all go through, at least some of us, and that I am not completely alone in feeling this. But it's hard to deal with sometimes because those intense feelings are suffocating and I just wanna die or something.
writergal Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Mike: What you are going through is totally normal. Trust me. And you're not suffering from a quarter-life crisis. Break ups are really, really difficult to recover from. Everyone heals at their own pace. The best thing you can do is continue to come here and post, and depending on how open-minded you are, consider finding a therapist or someone you trust to talk to regularly, to help ease your suffering. Posting here has helped me b/c I see that other people have experienced what I'm going through. So I'm not alone. And neither are you.
notalone Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Yes, I have those feeling. A thumping heart, utter desperation, complete panic and fear. Dont worry...it's just the break up. You are not losing your mind.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Yes i've been there! I have suffered with depression and anxiety attacks. The anxiety left me with 3-4 panic attacks a day at times, so I am VERY familiar with that feeling. Also even in good, happy times, its natural to wonder and worry about life, ageing, God etc, its just that during bad times these things become magnified in a negative light and seem to crowd in on you. A happy relationship seems to cushion all those worries because you feel fulfilled and not alone, so when that cushion is taken away, a lot of negatives can come flooding in. Be easy on yourself. If it persists, speak to a therapist or get some hermeopathic or natural relaxants or medications (I wouldn't recomend actual drugs). And as was said, keep posting here, I think this place helps a LOT!
Author UCLAMike Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 amazing words of comfort. thank you all. i am really using up every resource available to me. i am seeking out counseling from pastors, going out with family more, making a ton of friends, and going to church. it has helped me. but i still think it may take some time.
NJAries Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Yea I definately know what you're talking about. I've felt the exact same way as you. I called it my quarter life crisis as well, lol. I thought I was the only one too. I used to have problems with anxiety years ago, and haven't had much of one since. When my XGF left me I had such horrible separation anxiety I had to see the Dr, who put me on Xanax. Now mind you, I hate being put on pills just to be "normal" but i did what I had to do. That was back in Oct., and I only took them for about a week until I felt strong enough to not need them, but boy those days were tough just to exist through. Lately I have been sort of nostalgic and depressed, now that the weathers getting nice and everything. I'm still single, I see a therapist regularly, but some days still suck terribly. It's been about 4 months of total NC, and I still think about her everyday. I just wish things went differently, on a daily basis. Unfortunately they are not, so I have to watch out for # 1. Sometimes the hardest thing to do and the best thing to do is the same. Whatever you do, don't even ponder the idea of suicide (I think that's where you were going in the original post). Sometimes our insane minds take us there, but you have to mentally talk yourself out of it. It's just a friggin girl, don't throw away everything you've done and accomplished in your life because some stupid chick doesn't appreciate the person you are. So dude, you're not the only one for sure. When I read your post it sounded exactly like the thoughts/feelings I've been having. Please try to stay positive and keep the faith that things will get better. Life goes on, if you let it.
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