fabulous_chk Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 You are setting yourself up for further pain and the worst depression ever. I was doing so well, healing and moving on weeks after the break-up when the ex started stalking me at school. I thought - this was it - he wants to see me and he probably wants me back. NO. He wanted to assuage his guilt, wanted me to stay because it makes it seem like he has done nothing too bad. And then he had the gall to tell me that the biggest fan of my blog, where I pour out my heart and soul, is his new girlfriend. MY EX STALKING ME IN REAL LIFE TO ASSUAGE HIS GUILT, THEN HIS GF STALKING ME ONLINE. I HATE MY LIFE!!!! He said it made him feel better that we are "friends," that he's always there for me...I said, yes, yes, it's all good, i have no anger, etc, etc....but this is the last pain he will ever give me. I am done with this crap. I cannot endure this game anymore. TOTAL NC - his mom is blocked, his number is blocked, his email address is blocked and I removed my yahoo messenger account. If he happens to show up at school again without prior warning, I will deal with him like he was an acquaintance. But I hope to God he never will. God has been good to me and it's only I who stubbornly made easily avoided mistakes, at my cost. I am truly devastated right now. I hope the relief that comes from doing NC will take effect sooner than later.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Use the fact he has a girlfriend as all you need to move on. You have no false sense of hope which is actually a blessing. There is no illusion for you. It may be hard again at first but you'll get back to feeling fine again. I'm under a week and already feeling much better. I'm focusing on the things that he did that made me angry rather than sentimentalising about the positive things. Just focus on all the negatives, he will shrink right down in your estimations.
EmperorR Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Sorry you had to go through that, but sometimes the final time breaking nc finally gives you what you need to not look back. I remeber it taking me breaking nc with my ex fiancé to have her mocking me, saying the most hateful things anyone has ever told me to finally cut her out and never contact her again. Keep your head high it gets better anger stage
Author fabulous_chk Posted May 10, 2009 Author Posted May 10, 2009 i am in so much pain right now. i want to cry but i can't. my pain is too deep. God. Help me. I'm dying inside.
EmperorR Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 It's ok to cry, trust me it sucks horribly now but the only way to go from now is up:) I was in the same position as you were, it gets better trust me.
WhyYesThankYou Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Hey hey, Fabulous Chk, Thanks for your story. It sucks, I know, but thanks for posting it here because it gives folks like me the strength to say "no" when some corner of our brain starts going, "Oh, but maybe we should contact him because __________." Thanks for reminding me/us that it's just not worth it. You'll get better. You seem to have a good understanding of what happened, and it sounds like you have a fresh resolve to move forward. Good on you.
LadyV Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 i am in so much pain right now. i want to cry but i can't. my pain is too deep. God. Help me. I'm dying inside. I am so sorry for your pain!!! It is true what you say, God will take care of you . I truely believe that. I am currently on 10 days no contact. I havne't stalked his FB, or his new love interest either so that is a bonus!!! I was feeling so horrible last week, couldn't eat, sleep, didn't want to do anything. But as each day passes, and I haven't broken NC, I feel that much better. In my situation, I called the phone company to block his number. I also closed the email accounts of mine that he had...I opened up a new one through yahoo and blocked email. I had a friend test it for me by blocking her email, and she sent me a message. It doesn't even hit my inbox/spam/junk/deleted folders. This makes me so happy because I was afraid it would just be marked as spam, and still delivered to me. I want NO REMINDERS!!!! Take it day by day...even moment to moment!!! You WILL get through this, and in the end, you will be stronger because of it!!! God Bless You!!!
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