VeronicaVry Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Me and my (ex?)bf have been together for half a year,the last 5 months he has been trying to get a job. He has moved back to live w his parents in Paris, I live in London. Last week I stayed with him in Paris and he told me for the first time that he loves me, but then when I tried to discuss our future of where we should live etc, he said that he was happy if I got a job in Paris and he did, but that he wasnt ready to move in with me. At the same time he also said that he feels conflicted, that he doesnt know if he wants a serious relationship. He can be asked to move anywhere in Europe as he is applying everywhere there is jobs. I decided to break it off as I am sick of him not being clear with me, I am 22 he is 27. He cried lots and I cried. Then he took me to the train station, where he started crying again, in public still saying he loves me.I got back two days ago,we email and text everyday, him still saying that he loves me, I have not answered him for two days because I dont know what to say to him. I dont know what to do!I want to be with him, but I cant understand what he wants!he keeps on saying that he dont think we are making a mistake breaking up, that it is a result of the circumstances. It has only been a week. I feel that I am initiating most of the contact. He might move to Geneva, which is something I really dont want to do. We also broke up because we feel that something is missing in the relationship. I dont understand why he says he loves me but does not want to be with me, he does not want to have a long distance relationship....But then he says that "maybe now is not the right timing indeed. as i imagine it in my mind would be us in the same city, both working, both havin our own apts on our sides, many groups of friends and seeing eachother during the week with our friends, or just us, etc etc. that would be the only "normal" phase of our relationship as we are much more special than this." I feel that he is giving me mixed signals. Should I set a mental 'deadline' and just be in contact until then and being supporrtive and not discuss the relationship until then? What do you guys think? Is he just stringing me along? Does he not really love me? xo
cybersister Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 In my experience a guy will not tell you he loves you if he does not. The problem is that we tend to think... if he loves me then ...and the fact is that nothing necessarily follows . love is a feeling. living together is a set of circumstances coming together coinciding with the feeling. He only just announced his love. enjoy it. See where it leads. Sounds to me like he may be a little confused himself
Chloe2 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I was actually in a very similar situation. I kept waiting and waiting to see what happens...and kept getting disappointed! Basically, it sounds like he probably really does love you, but he is not in love with you. Those are different things. Friends can love and care about each other, but are not in love with each other. He wants to be your friend and was probably crying over the possible loss of your friendship. You could keep his friendship for what it's worth, but I wouldn't expect anything more out of this.
Author VeronicaVry Posted May 11, 2009 Author Posted May 11, 2009 for answering guys it helps as my friends are starting to get tired...haha I got some additional information tho....He texted my best friend yesterday saying "Hi MrX, this is MyExBF. I hope youre ok with you're studies and everything. I let you have a look on how Veronica is doing. I know you care for her aswell. It is important to have good and close friends like you. You can see her and I cant, I am ofcourse in contact with her too and keep in touch" and my best friend answered "relax, shes allright, been with her all day and chatting with her now" And then he answered "Ok, I know she is in good hands, Ill relax abit. Good evening and have a good week!" It could be that he 'just' loves me as a friend....But I dont think so as our relationship has deepend.... Personally, texting my best friend is the sweetest anyones done for me....As he cant see me as he is in Paris and Im in London...
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