Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 I was referring to your responses in other people's threads, not your reaction to the responses you receive. I'm sure it's just frustration at some people's idocy, but it's still something I noticed. Duly noted. FYI, the threads that bother me the most are as follows: -I need to have attention from men at all times -I'm getting abused by my boyfriend, but I love him! -My ex-girlfriend won't return my calls, but I keep calling I think after a year on here I've seen the same codependencies repeat and repeat, and a lot of people ask for advice but never listen, say thanks or even respond. Anyway, thanks for your criticism. There are ways of saying things diplomatically, and I appreciate you doing that. Maybe I'll try to tone it down; the thing is that some people only respond to 'tough love'. I feel that there is enough sugar-coating on this site.
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Ooh, a subtle jab! Shame you don't have the ballz to admit to not being perfect. That's why the Internet is so great for trolls like you - it allows you to hide, be snarky, and come in with lame little one-liners.
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Duly noted. FYI, the threads that bother me the most are as follows: -I need to have attention from men at all times -I'm getting abused by my boyfriend, but I love him! -My ex-girlfriend won't return my calls, but I keep calling I think after a year on here I've seen the same codependencies repeat and repeat, and a lot of people ask for advice but never listen, say thanks or even respond. Anyway, thanks for your criticism. There are ways of saying things diplomatically, and I appreciate you doing that. Maybe I'll try to tone it down; the thing is that some people only respond to 'tough love'. I feel that there is enough sugar-coating on this site. Oh no, trust me... I hear you. I really do. I'm not always diplomatic either, and I know that I'm a very different person in many respects in the real world than I am here. I'm much more of a softie IRL, it's just that I've lost some patience here. I try to reign it in as best I can, but sometimes some people make it just so hard! I just wanted you to be aware of how you might be perceived, that's all. Seems like you're just as self-aware as I am.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Ooh, a subtle jab! Shame you don't have the ballz to admit to not being perfect. That's why the Internet is so great for trolls like you - it allows you to hide, be snarky, and come in with lame little one-liners. Did you even really read Land Sharks posts? I think the reason you may be haing problems with women is because there may be a bit of a douchebag quality about you....I dont know you well, but your defensiveness in this thread is incredible You strike me as the type of guy who would be an overbearing and clingy/dependent BF....just from what I read in your exchange We can only go by what we see in snippets here
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 I'm much more of a softie IRL, it's just that I've lost some patience here. I try to reign it in as best I can, but sometimes some people make it just so hard! Gee, like who? Any trolls we know? I just wanted you to be aware of how you might be perceived, that's all. Seems like you're just as self-aware as I am. Gotcha. I mostly don't care. I don't let Love Shack affect my day to day. I know myself, and whenever I post, it's with the intentions of helping. Not mocking. Not degrading. Not insulting. If I come across as blunt sometimes, I suppose that's a manifestation of my frustration. Could be that it's time to take some much-needed time off from here.
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 there may be a bit of a douchebag quality about you....I dont know you well, but your defensiveness in this thread is incredible You strike me as the type of guy who would be an overbearing and clingy/dependent BF....just from what I read in your exchange We can only go by what we see in snippets here You got my number, dude. Good work!
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 You got my number, dude. Good work! I dont want your number anymore than girls seem to want it Read Land Sharks posts again if you want a better understanding of what may be holding you back
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 burning 4 revenge, you're not going to engage me in a fight, so stop trying.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 burning 4 revenge, you're not going to engage me in a fight, so stop trying.Im not trying to engage you in a fight What Im saying is that your answers can be very defensive and that kind of reflexive defensivenss comes from insecurity Theres a time and place to defend one's self, but when you submit your problems to a public critique and then become enraged at honest, probing, critical evaluations of what might be wrong that shows insecurity Strong people arent afraid to explore their weaknesses, because they feel confident enough to face up to those challenges And if youre insecure a girl can sense that like a wolf can sense fear. It turns them off, because on some subconcious level they feel your insecurity (a) is probably justified by shortcomings (b) will make you latch on to them like a drowning man latching onto a lifeboat, because you fear being alone
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 I am alone. I don't fear it. I don't fear coming home to my apartment alone. I would be able to fear be alone if I wasn't. So I gotta say, you are incorrect on that one. Land Shark's "critique" wasn't honest nor probing. It was incendiary. It was meant to make me feel bad. It wasn't an attempt to get to know me at all; it was an attack.
Okfine Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I'm a woman and I am not turned off by Kizik's reactions here, they are understandable, enough is enough. What is he supposed to do sit there and let people walk all over him with attacks? If Shark was trying to help him it was lost in all the angry comments attacking him personally. There is no need for that.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Well then you guys tell me what was an attack
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 It doesn't matter. I wish we had the option to close our own thread !
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Being a "catch" in your own eyes doesn't mean much. Nor does it mean much to be called one by a woman who is only ever your friend. The fact is you're alone for a reason. What is that reason? That reason is what makes you not such a catch. Feeling sorry for yourself never fixed anything. This was the strongest post and I read it thinking of myself first I know the reasons Im not such a catch. Some I can work on, others are fixed Even so I could still find a relationship if I wanted, just probably not one worth the effort Hence Im alone for now Nothing offensive about it at all
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I guess I'm looking for encouragement. You have every First Amendment right to call me a loser pathetic idiot, but I'm hoping you won't do so. I don't feel like one anyway. Just lonely and pretty hopeless about dating. Here you are already being defensive before anyone says anything at all
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Dude, I am honestly just laughing at you at this point. You sense my lack of interest in your game, so you're going back and trying to p*ss me off. Keep going, I'm interested in seeing what other tricks you pull out.
Okfine Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Well that Shark post was kind of odd in a nonsensical way. If you don't even believe you are a catch who else will? Kizik already said he does think he is a catch, so why challenge that? Why do people on these public forums always feel the need to bring someone down? Even people who know they are the world have down times in their lives where their confidence is shaken that doesn't mean they lose complete touch with their positive traits or who they are. At least a healthy person does not lose complete touch. I can understand why Kizik is feeling frustrated here, when he comes here to share his weaknesses and also chooses to share his strengths people just focus on trying to destroy the strengths. What is that?
Okfine Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I'd like to know, if being a catch in your own eyes doesn't mean much, in who's eyes does it matter? Your mom's?
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Dude, I am honestly just laughing at you at this point. You sense my lack of interest in your game, so you're going back and trying to p*ss me off. Keep going, I'm interested in seeing what other tricks you pull out. OK.... I was honestly interested in taking this somewhere constructive I was going to ask you to be more specific about the last couple of situations where you felt rejected To talk briefly about the circumstances and the dynamics involved between you and these girls and see if we could glean anything from that We could try and analyze if these were all just incidents of those girls being wrong for you individually or if there was a pattern at work and try and discover what that patter was But if youre only interested in meaningless sympathy from strangers on the internet instead of more objective analysis thats up to you
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Burning, I would have been happy to indulge you previous to the harassment. As is, I'd rather not. -Josh
Storyrider Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Land Shark's point has to do with the language Kizik chose to describe his situation. If you're a catch, it means people are trying to catch you. And people aren't trying to catch him. No one can or wants to take away his intrinsic value as a human being.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I'd like to know, if being a catch in your own eyes doesn't mean much, in who's eyes does it matter? Your mom's? well it matters more to be a catch in the eyes of the opposite sex than it does to be a catch in your own eyes to answer your question
Author kizik Posted May 13, 2009 Author Posted May 13, 2009 Land Shark's point has to do with the language Kizik chose to describe his situation. If you're a catch, it means people are trying to catch you. And people aren't trying to catch him. Well, I hadn't mentioned it but there is a girl who likes me right now, it's just not mutual.
Storyrider Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Well, I hadn't mentioned it but there is a girl who likes me right now, it's just not mutual. Well, how does that affect your overall situation? Maybe things aren't as black and white as you sometimes like to frame them.
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