grant_2 Posted May 9, 2009 Posted May 9, 2009 I am in a tough position as me and my girlfriend have been together for three years of which the last year we spent as a long distance relationship in different continents. But now I am moving back and we had decided to move in together but I have realized that its not what I want to do and that I dont see a future to our relationship and its really time that I move on. So I am sure that its time for me to move on but the problem I have is that do I wait to I get back to break it off in person or do it over the phone from a distance. I would really prefer to do it in person because I do think it is a cop out to do it over the phone but at the same time I cant let her continue to make plans for our moving in together and prepare for my arrival when I know Im going to break it off after I get back as I would just be leading her on. Is it ok for me to break up over the phone or should I wait until I can see her in person? Thanks for any advice.
scootncash Posted May 9, 2009 Posted May 9, 2009 Hi Grant 2 Thats a tough one to call. The main reason is indeed that it's just downright hurtful enough and so disrespectful to do it over the phone. She obviously loves you and yes I can understand the need to do it quickly because she is still in the mindframe that you two will be together. In the same sense she deserves your complete respect. I personally would not want someone I was planning on spending the rest of my life with to break up with me over the phone. That kind of pain would stay with her forever. Does she deserve to have her heart broken over a cold phone line? I would say no. But before I would say more, may I ask how long it will be before your back? It certainly adds to the situation and a solution. But as it stands if your coming back soon then I say give her the respect and compassion she deserves and tell her in person. I think you owe her that much considering the fact that you are about to rip the life right out of her. I hope this helps in your situation. Im not sure why your breaking up as you didnt say in your post. I am assuming it has something to do with the fact that over the last year you've lost the intimacy and bonding that people who are around each other have. If that is the case then I would suggest seeing her when you get back and not move into together but at least see if the time apart has put doubts in your mind. Scootncash
Recommended Posts