jcs8528 Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 I have a question to ask all. My ex (she'd been stringing me along for a year, yada yada) Yes I am still not completely over her but I do know I never want her in my life again. I still have anger, etc. Anyway, she has known this guy for over 20 years and always said he was like her "little brother". I know him and can certainly tell he would make it more. Anyway, I had a feeling about these two the last few months and he just broke up with his girl, and my ex-moved in with him. They are officially a couple and I hear they are getting married. Does this seem normal? can someone fall for their "little brother" like that? The age difference is only about 4 years, but I guess I'm a little grossed out by it or am I really being obtuse?
See_ya_on_the_flip Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Sounds like a friendship turn romantic, kind of rare IMHO. A little weird too, sounds too much like incest for my tastes. I'd bet they won't last..... Peace
WiseOne1 Posted May 9, 2009 Posted May 9, 2009 This is all too familiar for me, me and my last ex had the exact same breakup, and she had this long time friend, that she knew for atlest 6 years. She said they were just friends, and that she could never see her as anything more than a friend, and right after we break up...BAM there dating. 7 times out of 10, he's been coming on to her for the last couple of months, and maybe she even left you for him, but I can promise you its not that simple as it sounds. And another thing we have in common is that my ex's so called "longtime" friend is also 4 years apart. However its highely unlikely that it will work out between your ex and her friend.
Author jcs8528 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Posted May 9, 2009 Hello WiseOne, what do yo mean by it's not as simple as it sounds. I think it sounds pretty simple, she left me and moved in with her best friend of more than 20 years and now they are getting married. Meant to be I guess.
WiseOne1 Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Hello WiseOne, what do yo mean by it's not as simple as it sounds. I think it sounds pretty simple, she left me and moved in with her best friend of more than 20 years and now they are getting married. Meant to be I guess. It means them and her didnt just starting dating out of the blue, one or the other had to always show some sort of feelings or interest in eachother. You correct, maybe it was meant to be, if your that calm and not worried about it, theres no reason to go into details about it.
carhill Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 OP, was your GF and/or her male friend both unattached at the same time at any time during that 20 years? That can be a factor. Two people can sense and value a connection between them but do not act on it because one or the other is in a committed relationship and/or married. They'll dance around the periphery. Such dances can last a lifetime. I've had such a dance partner for about 25 years now. We both know there is more than friendship there, but also both know the timing is wrong. We both value respectful and supportive behaviors. So the dance continues BTW, I've jokingly introduced myself (to her ex'es brother, no less) as her twin brother. That's how close the friendship is. If your exGF wasn't "all in" and, hence, stringing you along, there's a reason for that. Don't discount the power of her feelings for "little brother". They might not be so familial after all...
Author jcs8528 Posted May 10, 2009 Author Posted May 10, 2009 yes, I think they were both unattached at times, lost contact a little in between as well. She was married before (8 years to a man who she started dating at sixteen and left her), and he was engaged before, etc. I saw them together a lot but never really felt weird about it until the last couple of months. Her lease was ending at her current place and she started to do "favors" for him like got him a dog, would feed his fish, Than started staying over there because her current roommate, platonic friend I know for sure. Anyway, I could tell that she was starting to "nest" over there and I even said to her once "you are going to move in with JJ" to a reply of "No way, I need to be independant, I haven't ever been single. Another thing is that her father died "in her arms" of a heart attack when she was 17 taking her to work. She never got counseling. Part of me hopes its a rebound, but most of me knows that this is exactly the kind of relationship she will be in long term for. I'm sure the "Best Friend" status will be husband and kids very soon and I guess it is a realty check for me that it really is over. I'd rather have her moving in with some dude she just met.
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