NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 You don't have to be one, you can learn from observation. Do you have a better reason why someone will literally wait around for years as someones second choice? I know you've been around for a while, but I have to disagree with this based on my own observation. They stick around because if the MP is having an A WITH them, they are assuming that the BS is the second choice and that they are number one. D-day usually sets them straight on that one, unless the MP is really that good of a liar. And there have been some GOOD ones, liars, that is.
White Flower Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I know you've been around for a while, but I have to disagree with this based on my own observation. They stick around because if the MP is having an A WITH them, they are assuming that the BS is the second choice and that they are number one. D-day usually sets them straight on that one, unless the MP is really that good of a liar. And there have been some GOOD ones, liars, that is. This could be true for many, but not all. I never felt as though I were number one but I did feel loved while she, as he put it, was cared for. And there was a quasi D-day which proved your theory--he certainly made me feel his W was more important, i.e., number one. And he was certainly good at being convincing. There are other reasons for sticking around. Not all are waiting for him to leave the M. Some enjoy a R that requires a once a week meeting because that is all the time the have for in their life. Most people don't go for this, but if they do that does not mean they are delusional or messed up. They're actually pretty practical. And Needy doesn't fit into Practical's schedule. (Not pointed at you NID).
GreenEyedLady Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Weak argument. I don't have to be an inmate to know that being in prison is unpleasant, to say the least. What's so unpleasant about: free food free shelter free college free vocational training and so on and so forth.... And some people become so used to it, they re-offend, just so they can go back... All in all, I think YOURS is a weak argument...
Mr. Lucky Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 They stick around because if the MP is having an A WITH them' date=' they are assuming that the BS is the second choice and that they are number one.[/quote'] I don't necessarily disagree with you, but am still amazed that someone could feel this way. Let's see: 1). Lives in house with wife 2). Spends holidays and other occasions with her 3). Jumps when the wife calls 4). Afraid that the wife will find out about the A 5). Hides relationship with OW 6). Finances co-mingled with wife 7). Children with wife 8). Family events with wife 9). Furture plans with wife 10). Sex with wife How does the OW think she is Number 1 ??? Mr. Lucky
GreenEyedLady Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 You don't have to be one, you can learn from observation. Do you have a better reason why someone will literally wait around for years as someones second choice? I wasn't anyone's second choice...And you're petty little comments are wasted on me...I think you better go back to the drawing board...
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 What's so unpleasant about: free food free shelter free college free vocational training and so on and so forth.... And some people become so used to it, they re-offend, just so they can go back... All in all, I think YOURS is a weak argument... LOL. I was thinking more about the fear of picking up the soap in the shower. The being confined against my will. The not being able to make a phone call whenever I wanted. Heck, the not being able to do anything (expect use the bathroom) whenever I wanted. No (consensual) sex. LOL. I think my argument was just fine. Thank you very much. LOL
lkjh Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I don't necessarily disagree with you, but am still amazed that someone could feel this way. Let's see: 1). Lives in house with wife 2). Spends holidays and other occasions with her 3). Jumps when the wife calls 4). Afraid that the wife will find out about the A 5). Hides relationship with OW 6). Finances co-mingled with wife 7). Children with wife 8). Family events with wife 9). Furture plans with wife 10). Sex with wife How does the OW think she is Number 1 ??? Mr. Lucky Its because they are in denial, they don't see the facts they see what they want
lkjh Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I wasn't anyone's second choice...And you're petty little comments are wasted on me...I think you better go back to the drawing board... I don't know your story but if you were the OW, sat around for years waiting, and in the end he stayed with his wife then you were second choice. Its sad but thats the way it is
NoIDidn't Posted May 13, 2009 Posted May 13, 2009 I don't necessarily disagree with you, but am still amazed that someone could feel this way. Let's see: 1). Lives in house with wife 2). Spends holidays and other occasions with her 3). Jumps when the wife calls 4). Afraid that the wife will find out about the A 5). Hides relationship with OW 6). Finances co-mingled with wife 7). Children with wife 8). Family events with wife 9). Furture plans with wife 10). Sex with wife How does the OW think she is Number 1 ??? Mr. Lucky But the OW doesn't see it this way. They are blinded by love and lies. Chances are some of these things were already there before the OW came along and so they don't really count (see #s 1, 2, 6 - 10). These things were already happening, so an OW is likely to just be waiting until some are no longer the case (can't undo #7 though). We would all THINK we were #1 if we had somebody lying to us about our importance in their lives, and how our relationship has to remain hidden to "protect" it and help it to grow. Keeping the relationship a secret, protects it. Jumping when the spouse calls, keeps the relationship a secret and thus, protects it. If you felt that your BF was protecting your relationship with his actions, no matter how shady, you'd be likely to think you are number 1, too. I mean, the cheating spouse is obviously NOT protecting the BS by bad-mouthing them. It really is just a case of better to be cheated with than cheated on. And that fact has been borne out on these forums many MANY times. The OP feels "special" and "chosen" when the MP "risks" so much to be with them. They actually feel more important than the spouse because they can't see around the lies, yet. But, like I said, D-day usually changes that perception QUICKLY.
Recommended Posts