Nikki Sahagin Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 My boyfriend broke up with me. What made it that much harder to deal with is that I have my exams and birthday this month. Obviously I invited him as we were together at the time. We have spoken about being friends. I have said I will try but cannot gurantee anything and also that we can always be friends in the future when this is long behind both of us. When I spoke to him though on msn, he was stressed from work and he ended up saying that "as usual, everythings about you". I reacted badly to this because I felt I was asking a lot about HIM. My birthday is towards the end of May and after a little bit of a stressful talk, even though we said we'd talk when we are both less stressed, I don't know whether to have him there or not? Whether he is or is not there, it will be weird?
DarkestDreams Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Why would you want him there?! The invitation was made when the circumstances were different (i.e. he didn't drop you like you were hot yet) and I doubt he is expecting for the invitation to still stand anyway. It looks like you're still having a hard time with the break-up and I don't think you can't handle having him there. Plus, it's your birthday - time to have fun with your friends, girl! After my ex dumped me, we both had to go to a social function that was planned months in advance - it was weird and uncomfortable for the both of us. Stop contacting him, you know nothing good is going to come out of it!
1bee Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 i agree. contacting him will cause you more pain and it's also causing him to look at you negatively more and more. severe the ties now. don't even talk to him or "uninvite" him or anything. just disappear. you're looking desparate to him now and this is bad. pick up your self respect and go out with your friends and STOP talking to him even though it hurts.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 8, 2009 Author Posted May 8, 2009 Thanks for the replies. We aren't talking, we just spoke the once to discuss being friends seeing as we were friends before the breakup and were considering getting back to that in the future. Still I think it would be respectful to let him know if he is or is not invited anymore, if friendship IS possible in the future. Thanks for your perspectives.
DarkestDreams Posted May 9, 2009 Posted May 9, 2009 Whether you are going to be friends in the future or not that is for you to decide and only once you are finally and utterly over him. But right NOW, you are not friends. Not having him at your birthday party will not hinder any plans for a future friendship, it's something normal. He's your ex, he shouldn't be there... period. If you contact him just to uninvite him, it might come off as spiteful. I say don't do anything. If he doesn't contact you, that means he has the common decency to realize the invitation is off. If he does and asks if the invitation still stands, then and only then you can say "It's not a good idea". If he just shows up, tell him to f*** off You need to save your respect for people who deserve it. At this point, you don't owe him nothing!
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