BoooredGuy Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Hi guys, I have something that's been weighing on my mind from work and hoping for some feedback. I am a young (20s), 1st generation from Eastern Europe working as a professional in NYC. I'm outgoing, friendly, have many acquentances, etc., but after all is said and done, in my personal life I tend to stick with my own kind (culture, language, etc.). That being said, I now only date from my own kind (have casually dated plenty others before, as well as inter-racially, so I've learned this about myself). The issue I have is this. Some of the guys at work make some snide remarks about the women from my culture, specifically, that they are slu^s. I've been tempted to say something back, but I won't stoop to that level, so I just let it slide. It doesn't happen often, but it's happened a number of times from a couple different guys. What gives? Are they just jerks? Is this there way of getting attention? Of wanting me to spend time with them outside of work? That they want to date one of my friends? How should I handle this if it happens again? I'm not one to be easily offended, but it's totally unprofessional and we're talking about my nationality. Plus, what I do in my personal life is nobody's business. I didn't say anything as I don't want to blow a whistle of sorts and cause a commotion, but I don't know. You'd expect more in a professional firm, but I guess not. Too many egos in the room. Any thoughts on what I can do? It's like dealing with a subtle form of racism - I am white so they think that they can get away with it. I bet nobody makes these comments to the Indians, Blacks, Hispanics, etc. in the office as they'd never get away with it.
BoredPerson Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Well I will try to make this easy for your pretty head to understand because I know how it gets for women, because they are not logical, they have to be emotional. Just kidding. So in your professional role as a fulltime receptionist what sort of clothing do you wear to work ? Is it revealing, and do you always try to get the attention of nearby men ? Generally for receptionists and admin assistants it is required that they look sexy. I don't like it but in many places it is an unspoken requirement. This leads many men to believe these women are sluts. Rightly or wrongly that is how it will go. See I believe these roles should be used as a way of grooming up and coming talent. Not as a way of bringing eye candy into the office. I think the same thing about the waitresses that work in the restaurant downstairs. I just assume they're all mindless sluts who can't do anything else and for the most part I am problably 75% correct. Essentially as a young good looking woman this is what you will need to put up with. My advice is to try not to look sexual. Rightfully men will assume that women who dress and / or act like sluts at work only want to be there to be eye candy. So while I agree that all men are often jerks, especially ones that work for large corporations I can also see that there are many things a woman can do to improve her position. Finally if you work for the government, stuff like that doesn't happen. I wish you the best in your career as a receptionist and I hope all the best promotions and pay rises will come your way.
GorillaTheater Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 The way I see it, you've got three choices: 1) Ignore it. And probably remain more-or-less pissed off about the comments, though there's a chance they'll knock it off IF they see that it doesn't get under your skin. If you're anything like me, though, it would be hard to hide the fact that I'm pissed. 2) Tell them to knock it off. Which may solve the problem or may make it worse once they find out which buttons to push. 3) Trade jabs. This is one I'd pick and I'm a professional in a professional environment. Go toe to toe with the insults, but keep a smile on your face. You can practice on BoredPerson, since she seems to want to yank your chains.
JeezLouise Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Troll post. Go try to find a wife who will cook for you.
GorillaTheater Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Troll post? You're getting some odd responses OP. Guess there must be a backstory I'm not up on.
voldigicam Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Document. Time, place, who. After a few weeks, report to HR that you're hearing racist remarks and want it to stop. If there's any bad fallout, talk to an employment law attorney. You'd be amazed how many laws allow for recovery of large attorneys' fees. Paid the bills here for quite a while!
Author BoooredGuy Posted May 8, 2009 Author Posted May 8, 2009 Wow, some place for feedback. BoredPerson - I'm a guy retard, plus, you sound like a real winner. Gorilla - Thanks - I appreciate it. Jeez - No need, as I am already on my way to that. Gorilla - No backstory. Perhaps I just don't hang with the frat choads and yuppies as much as they'd want me to I guess. I am neither of those, yet work mostly with those. Vold - Thanks, but I'd rather not go to HR if possible. But then again, it doesn't hurt to document things.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 BoredPerson - I'm a guy retard, plus, you sound like a real winner. Great minds think alike!!! :lmao: Your and my perceptions match!
BoredPerson Posted May 9, 2009 Posted May 9, 2009 Hhmmm maybe the idea of a male receptionist is putting people off. I know if we had a male receptionist I'd be pretty pissed off too. How recently did you make the change ? If it has been recently people might still be able to tell what you have done. That is still ok, and I am sure everyone respects what you have decided to do. In this line of 'work' with your 'condition' you re going to have to be careful because if people find out they may become abusive. All the best with your fulltime career as a receptionist.
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