lovingyou2 Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 So, I am newly back into dating after an 8 year marriage that ended. Apparently a lot of the rules have changed and I'm kind of out of the loop. So I am seeking advice on this sitaution... I recently started dating a guy. We have been seeing each other for about two months. At first we would see each other a couple times a week, now it has slowed to once a week. Also, the communication has really slowed and he says he has been really busy at work. I wasn't really sure where the relationship stood. We have a lot of fun together and things seem to be going good. All along he has told me that if I get asked out by other guys I should go. (What does that mean?) So I have gone on a few dates. Well yesterday he tells me he wants to talk to me about something and that his friends set him up with a girl and that they talked and she kissed him. Then she told him she really liked him and asked him out. He asked me what I thought of it and if he should go. I said he should go since he has encouraged me to go out with other guys. I think the thing that hurt the most was that he said "I have hung out with her a few times with mutual friends but never thought a girl like that would like me". Kind of makes me feel like theres a hot girl he's interested in, but just in case that doesn't work out he'll keep me around. (Is that being an emotional girl?) Is he just not into me anymore? Why would he ask me about it if that were the case? And what should I do from here? Wait for him to contact me? Cut it off now? Ughhh... help!
manugeorge Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 You're right, he's just not that into you. If you are looking to date somenone seriously and not juggle guys. Or if you want more from him than casual dating. Then you should definitely toss this one back in the water because it's not going to pan out. A man that really likes you will NEVER ask you if he should go out with another woman. I think this dude probably sees you more as a friend than anything else.
dreamergrl Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Forget about him and move on. Keep dating. Eventually you'll find someone who is mutually interested.
Author lovingyou2 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 Ok. I was afraid of that. Its been hard to cut it off because some affection has seemed better than no affection... except when you feel crappy because he isn't calling or caring. that sounds messed up.
manugeorge Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Ok. I was afraid of that. Its been hard to cut it off because some affection has seemed better than no affection... except when you feel crappy because he isn't calling or caring. that sounds messed up. I know the feeling but but people like him tend to drag you down even farther than you already are. It really makes that little bit of affection not worth it at all.
dreamergrl Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Ok. I was afraid of that. Its been hard to cut it off because some affection has seemed better than no affection... except when you feel crappy because he isn't calling or caring. that sounds messed up. Eventually you wont want any affection from him. It sucks at first because you were enjoying what was there. But you have to look at it like this.. do you want affection from him when he's obviously got someone else in mind?
stillafool Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Cut him off immediately! He has all but told you he has found someone "hotter" than you that he wants to try to be with. Don't hang around getting "sloppy seconds". You aren't that desperate. If he has told you to see other guys he definitely is not interested in you. Pick up your pride and put yourself back on a pedestal for the right guy. If you continue with this guy you haven't even scratched the surface of the amount of pain you will experience.
Author lovingyou2 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 thanks everyone... you are all saying what I think I already knew deep down, was just hoping for something different. So this is dumb, but do I just delete him from my phone, IM list, etc? What if he talks to me, tell him that I don't want to see him anymore? I still have a movie of his, do I ask him to come get it, mail it back to him? keep it? I realize its only been like 2 months, but I'm one of those girls that has a hard time letting go, so this is difficult for me.
dreamergrl Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Offer to return the movie, and just move along. He already told you that he's interested in this other girl right? There's not much to talk about if this was already initiated by him.
stillafool Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I would just mail it back to him if you have his address. I would delete his number and not offer him any explanation. He obviously doesn't care because he should have or did know that by telling you about this other girl you wouldn't want to see him anymore. Drop him like he's acid.
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