I very rarely want to and never get the chance to initiate sex!

[Lydz]

It is'nt really becoming a problem, i just wanted to know what people's thoughts are about this.

 

Sex isnt a big deal to me, and i dont think it is to my partner of one year either. If we've had a busy week and are tired then we wont have sex, or we may have sex every night.

 

Whats had me thinking though is if i enjoy sex/foreplay so much (which i do!) then how come i never initiate it?? The obvious reason would be because i know he always will but sometimes (although not very often at all) i will want to but i wont tell him or actually do anything about it.

 

Insecurity springs to mind but i also think its because i dont actually get very turned on until he does the touching and kissing in the right spots etc. There's just nothing about a male body that gets me going really lol

 

Is there anyone else who feels like this or is it just me? I dont want to seem selfish by making him do all the work!!!!

 

Thanks for reading, your opinions are welcomed!!

[Juniper22]

"there is just nothing about a male body that get's me going really."

 

Maybe you're not int men as much as you think? OR maybe things are more ok than you think and you're trying to hard to figure it all out and make sense of it all? Maybe its not so much that you aren't interested in sex, as it is you're just not as interested in him? Who knows for sure.

[nino2005]

Hi, I seem to feel like this too. When I first met my boyfriend, we kept our relationship a secret for a while and I think the excitement was a big turn on. Also, I was quite new to sexual relationships and so obviously wanted to experiment.

Anyway, 4 years on and I am never really up for it.

I have searched and searched for answers, questioning whether maybe I don't fancy him anymore, but I know I love him. It is really frustrating.

I think I know what happened though, I am on the contraceptive pill and it is known for decreasing your libido.

 

So my reply to your post is - are you on the pill? As this can have a huge impact on sex life!!!

 

Hope this helps xx

[Lydz]

At the moment im not using any form of contreception other than condoms. This is due to having horrible side effects when i had the implant in which i had took out two weeks ago, i've decided to give my body a rest and take my time deciding which method to go for next.

 

I sometime's question whether i fancy him. Sometimes i look at him n think phwoaar, and other times i find him quite unattractive but i love him so so much.

 

The thing is though once im into it its great! Its just i could go without it too and i think im just so used to him getting things going rather than the other way round. I think in the time we've been together ive initiated it once!!

 

Im just not confident enough i dont think. Plus he very rarely gives me a chance anyway!! lol

 

I suppose i just feel a bit bad sometimes coz its all one way!

[nino2005]

you sound exactly the same as me! i came off the pill as i was fed up of not being myself.

it is easier now, but i still don't initiate it and do feel bad. i think my bf has accepted it though and so we just get on with it.

i also wonder sometimes if i fancy him, but love him so much too and i know that i am very lucky to be with him. he knows that when he makes the effort, hass a shave and looks smart, that it still turns me on.

i think its just a case of understanding each other.