sporadic_moods Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 ...then for some reason I look at his facebook... there's several posts a girl made on Monday, talking about going to ihop and "sweet I can't wait to see you" ...does this automatically mean it's a romantic thing or could this just be a friend?? T broke up with me in early Feb. after a drawn out month of "I don't want to break up with you, I don't know where I'll be a year from now with a job, my music (etc, etc), I don't know myself well enough and I don't want to be another R" (a guy I dated for nearly 4 years who then decided he wasn't ready for a real long-term relationship). He also said "If I wasn't dating you, I shouldn't be dating anyone and f*ck up anything else." This after telling me he loved me "so much," it felt the most real of any relationship he'd been in, how caring and great I am, etc. When he FINALLY broke up (at my prodding, I think he wanted me to do it), he said he wanted to be friends, we could still hang out etc, he just wasn't ready for a real relationship. I tried, but then figured out I couldn't handle it. I mentioned how hard it would be to see him dating someone else... he said it wasn't about that, and that he wasn't even thinking that way. That was in late Feb., and yesterday I see those messages. I'm upset and don't understand, I was such a genuine, loving, fun to be around person with him, which he mentioned all the time. Why drop someone who really cares with a bunch of lines (if that's what they were) ...or if he didn't want to be with me, why drag it out forever first, saying that he was confused but "didn't want to break up"? I just feel like nobody will ever appreciate finding someone like me... I have a high capacity to love, have goals, actually care about what's going on in the world, am very "other oriented," but it seems like no body values that beyond the first "ooh, it's a new person" phase. :-(
WTRanger Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Let this be a rule. If you break up with someone, delete them from your Facebook or Myspace or whatever. You'll never be able to heal properly, it'll gut you every time. Months, years down the road after all has settled only then could you even comprehend at re-adding them to your social networks. If he's not on your Facebook, then you can't see his wall and you won't have to see what other people are posting.
UCLAMike Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 don't do this to yourself. whether those wallposts are completely platonic or romantic, you won't know. you are just paying for pain. i know it's hard but know that he is free to date who he wants. I know your heart disagrees, but that's just how it is. Brace yourself. He will date again, but so will you.
1bee Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 this is why i hate myspace and facebook. people will tell people all the right things when they are straddling the fence and not sure what to do about a relationship. and they will also say it when breaking up. they feed you those lines so they don't feel bad about what they've done. they think they are letting you off easy when they're really flat out lying to you while at the same time lowering their perception of you.
Recommended Posts