Juniper22 Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I was wondering if someone could tell me why its like this. I have always been one to own up to any wrong doing I have done. If I have done something wrong or hurt someone that I didn't mean to, or whatever the case, I always will say I'm sorry, show that I am, learn from and try not to do the same thing(s) again. I can own up to my share of the blame in situations, but what I don't get is, just about every person that has been in my life that is close to me, can not seem to do this. Examples are, my parents were like this with me. If I did something I shouldn't I owned up to it, they NEVER took the blame for anything they may have done or said. I've had several friends like this, I've even had b/f's in the past whoa re like this. Now I know some might think, well maybe they didn't do or say anything that they need to take the blame for. I understand that...BUT I'm talking about when two people are at fault for something, when its a shared blamed. I honestly can not think of a time where a person in my life owned up to their responsbilty in anything, but yet it was always ME who did. My question is, WHY have I had people like this in my life? Do I attract these kinds of people who feel they can not take the blame for anything? Do i give off a vibe to others that I'm a person who will carry the burden of all the blame in things? I have noticed a pattern over the years and was wondering about this. Any tips on how to avoid people like this? Anyway to tell if a person is like this after meeting them a few times?
JackJack Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Sorry it's 18 views later and no one has replied. The only thing I can tell you is..its wonderful that YOU are able to take the blame for things you've done in your life. Its the right thing to do...admit to it, own it...correct it and move on. As far as why it is alot of people are in your life or have been that can not do this..I have no clue. I say keep your eyes and ears open, and you should be able to tell early on if a person will own up to things or not.
Mycroft Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 I agree be proud of yourself. I have a friend like this, "sorry" isn't even in his vocabulary. That's probably the easiest way to tell. Say you have a plans to meet somewhere at 8, but they show up at 830 and act like they did nothing wrong. Being late happens, its not a big deal, but a quick "sorry for being late" should come out easy. If it doesn't, that's a sure sign. What I remember about my friend, growing up with him, is his family made him this way. He had 2 siblings close in age, and they would get in trouble together. The parents always split them up and tried to get them to tell on each other. It got to the point where all 3 of them would never admit to ANYTHING about themselves. Even unimportant stuff.
Shock Me Sane Posted May 9, 2009 Posted May 9, 2009 I've never been big on saying "sorry." I'm stubborn. But after screwing things up so many times and realizing how important it is to maintain my relationships with friends and boyfriends, I eventually grew to be a more sincere person. Although, I still don't like to take the blame for much. It doesn't come naturally to me. Haha. Anyway, I'm not a bad person. I don't think people with this problem, like me, are necessarily bad or unworthy. What you should be steering away from are people who use and abuse your willingness to apologize and conform to their viewpoint. Maybe you attract these kind of people because you come off as weak-willed, and others take that as a sign that they can walk all over you. I agree that you should be proud. Stay honest and be confident and good people will come your way.
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