marcus35uk Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Hi, I am a 35 yrs male and my wife 28 yrs, we have been together nearly 12 yrs and marries last 3 years. It has been up and down and good times and bad, but lately been hard, lot of arguing. My wife is a controlling on me going out and had always been since I met her at a young age. One morning we had a argument about me going out with my brother for a night out, so she went off to her mums, so were txt arguing then, in the middle I suddenly got a txt that said "Yes loved them". after calling her and questioning her she said she didnt send it, and asked if it was in her sent items on mobile(o2) she said yes, then about an hour later she said it had vanished. The second time was last night we were both in bed watching t.v I decided to bob down for a dvd to watch at about 10.25 pm, then after about 10 mins sifting thru em came back up and she was laid a sleep(supposedly), when i settled I looked for a message on her phone last night for a mobile number I needed(genuine), I looked in drafts and last message sent there 10.33 pm last night and it said "Hey babe pls state wot u believe in, im here 4 u u ave a gr8 life celebrate it love u babe Jane x x x x u know im here x x", at that time I was down stairs or close to on way back up. It had the time in drafts at that date and time, so i thort ide send it to my mobile incase she deleted it. But in doing that it move it out of drafts to saved folder with later time. Anyway after questioning her she denied even sending anything at all at that time, and that she was asleep. Also she would never txt babe to me like that or finish with her name....all too strange for me. Even today denies it, even saying it was meant for her female cousin who has just split up and maybe typed it a bit back. Am I cracking up or what. Please help...trying to save marriage but dont want to be a mug...... Thanks
jwi71 Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Hi, I am a 35 yrs male and my wife 28 yrs, we have been together nearly 12 yrs and marries last 3 years. It has been up and down and good times and bad, but lately been hard, lot of arguing. My wife is a controlling on me going out and had always been since I met her at a young age. One morning we had a argument about me going out with my brother for a night out, so she went off to her mums, so were txt arguing then, in the middle I suddenly got a txt that said "Yes loved them". after calling her and questioning her she said she didnt send it, and asked if it was in her sent items on mobile(o2) she said yes, then about an hour later she said it had vanished. The second time was last night we were both in bed watching t.v I decided to bob down for a dvd to watch at about 10.25 pm, then after about 10 mins sifting thru em came back up and she was laid a sleep(supposedly), when i settled I looked for a message on her phone last night for a mobile number I needed(genuine), I looked in drafts and last message sent there 10.33 pm last night and it said "Hey babe pls state wot u believe in, im here 4 u u ave a gr8 life celebrate it love u babe Jane x x x x u know im here x x", at that time I was down stairs or close to on way back up. It had the time in drafts at that date and time, so i thort ide send it to my mobile incase she deleted it. But in doing that it move it out of drafts to saved folder with later time. Anyway after questioning her she denied even sending anything at all at that time, and that she was asleep. Also she would never txt babe to me like that or finish with her name....all too strange for me. Even today denies it, even saying it was meant for her female cousin who has just split up and maybe typed it a bit back. Am I cracking up or what. Please help...trying to save marriage but dont want to be a mug...... Thanks Do you have the mobile number she was texting? Call it. If you can, call it from HER phone. You'll know right away...
Author marcus35uk Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 She didn't reply to a text it was a fresh message she was wriying, on the draft I saw last night it had "no recipient", it just led me to believe she didnt have time to look in her directory and send. We have the same make mobiles, if you are writing a fresh text and you cancel it, it offers you chance to save to drafts folder or delete, well the cancel button is the same as the "yes save" button, so its a matter of panic if she was hiding it, quick to cancel and then just save it and put mobile down. She is texting me this minute saying she cant take anymore, I dont trust her, it cant carry on like this......what the hell is going on.
delajoonal Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 marcus35uk... i would go with my gut feeling at this point...as long as you don't think you are being paranoid? has she done this before? are there other signs? best thing to do at this point, INSTEAD of harrassing her...she is only going to clam up and pull further away if you keep pushing this subject...also possibly say things that aren't true just to get you to stop. so, do MORE spying, like jwi71 said, check the numbers in her cell phone, check the cell phone bill online..ALL carriers provide this service now..it is an up to the minute account of ALL calls, texts, etc. made from both your numbers...see one not familiar, CALL it... i have been down this road 2 months ago...that is how i found out the OW name, from her cell phone greeting message.... anyway, some of the folks on here talk about a key logger, i have yet to find out what IT is..but apparently IT works great in finding out who and when your wife is communicating with online..i.e. read her emails, etc. just do some more spying..get some HARD proof/evidence THEN bring it all to her and watch her squirm... ugh! i am so sorry for you...this is a horrible feeling...i caught my stbx over 2 months ago..and it still cuts....deep...no words can explain the anguish.. sorry:o
Author marcus35uk Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 Hi, thanks for reply, we are on pay and go, O2, but will try and look, also when you said "also possibly say things that aren't true just to get you to stop." what did you mean....? Thanks
seibert253 Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Where there's smoke, there's fire. Intensify your detective work.
jwi71 Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 She didn't reply to a text it was a fresh message she was wriying, on the draft I saw last night it had "no recipient", it just led me to believe she didnt have time to look in her directory and send. We have the same make mobiles, if you are writing a fresh text and you cancel it, it offers you chance to save to drafts folder or delete, well the cancel button is the same as the "yes save" button, so its a matter of panic if she was hiding it, quick to cancel and then just save it and put mobile down. She is texting me this minute saying she cant take anymore, I dont trust her, it cant carry on like this......what the hell is going on. If they are identical make and model..."accidentally" switch phones so you have hers and she has yours...then just sit back and wait for a text to come in...
delajoonal Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 marcus35uk... "also possibly say things that aren't true just to get you to stop." what did you mean....? in my experience, with stbxh, i would ask so many questions, or push the questions so hard, he admitted to making up lies just to get me off his back...he had an online EA for 3 weeks...there was a day i had suspected he was actually finally meeting with OW in person...he was supposed to be working with his brother on this day... long story short, he said that he had indeed spent THAT day with her, but no PA....i cried for weeks, yelled it was a mess...i couldn't believe the EA had evolved into a PA? about a month later, after THAT day, my stbxh said " he never did meet with her..he only said IT to hurt me and because i had basically made up my mind THAT was what he did, i had the WHOLE day played out in my head...etc.."this is what stbxh told me anyway. ...i confirmed this with the OW and her H...i know weird...but my point...we can push the WS into a corner where they have NO answers to our questions OR are just NOT ready to answer them because they themselves have NO idea what the answers are to what they are doing.... that is what i mean by, they will make up stuff just to get us off their backs ans stop asking them questions... now maybe not everyone is as creepy as my stbxh, and makes up a PA when there isn't one..LOL..sad really....anyway.. hope your situation is better;)
Author marcus35uk Posted May 8, 2009 Author Posted May 8, 2009 Hi, thanks for all the info, helps alot, I've decided to play it cool, and said maybe it was an error on the mobile company... Its not worth the stress, I havent the energy. So now I'm gunna keep an eye on her but not in her face about it.. Wish me luck...which ever way it goes.. Thanks
Trojan John Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 My phone (Sony Ericsson) has the same save-as-draft feature. Not sure what kind you have, but if your phone came with phone tools software, doing a backup of all the contents on her phone is simple. You would have all numbers, texts (sometimes deleted ones as well), etc.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Hi, thanks for all the info, helps alot, I've decided to play it cool, and said maybe it was an error on the mobile company... Its not worth the stress, I havent the energy. So now I'm gunna keep an eye on her but not in her face about it.. Wish me luck...which ever way it goes.. Thanks Look, this is pretty easy. Check the cell phone bill on her number and see is she is txting a particular number frequently and at odd times. If yes... you need to dig deeper. If no... then you can just forget about it.
Darth Vader Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Look, this is pretty easy. Check the cell phone bill on her number and see is she is txting a particular number frequently and at odd times. If yes... you need to dig deeper. If no... then you can just forget about it. She's hiding something! That's obvious, keep digging. Don't let her blameshift you either, if she's screwing around!
In Like Flynn Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Watch the computer also!!! Emails and secret email accounts. Put a keylogger on your computer to watch.
jj33 Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 This may be a little off topic but if you are the same Marcus then well... I would say she is VERY controlling. About a year ago I sent a text to a friend and for some reason it went to someone named Marcus rather than to my friend. A few minutes later I got an irate phone call from Marcus's wife, I apologized for the error but there was no satisfying this woman. I later got a call from a friend of Marcus's telling me to "stay away" ??? It was a text gone wrong - I never met Marcus and had not intended to contact him. So why am I telling you this? 1. Texts to go wrong sometimes. I wouldnt have believed it until the Marcus incident. 2. If you are that Marcus your wife is a jealous impolite control freak and I wouldnt trust her as far as you could throw her - the behavior she exhibited to me was VERY erratic. I hope you arent that Marcus (she was mad as a hatter) and I hope this works out for you and that it is just another text gone awry.
Author marcus35uk Posted May 11, 2009 Author Posted May 11, 2009 Hi, Marcus isn't my real name because I wanted to remain discreet on the forum. Sorry you had that kind of grief of some strangers down to no error of yours. These things happen and if they had problems at the time it maybe was wrong txt at wrong time. I'm just keeping my cool at the minute with my situation. Suppose I have to just get on with things as normal but keep an eye on things. There no point keylogging on p.c. she doesn't bother with pc at home. She works in an office and has her own email at work. So if theres owt going on there I'll never really find out. Theres no way of snooping in that mailbox. I'll give an update of any new incidents... Thanks for support all...
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