sj9ers Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 So I use to work with this girl as a lifeguard last summer, but I never talked to her except maybe once over the summer plus I was with my ex at the time. The job is only seasonal, but were all friends and hangout in the off season. Well fast forward to New Years and one of my friends has a New Years party so one of my friends picks me up then says he has to pick someone up, and it winds up being the girl from work. So we get to talking and wind up getting drunk with each other and wind up making out. I didn't think it meant anything so I just forgot about it. So a few days later she finds me on myspace and messages me and we talk on myspace then she gives me her number without me asking tells me that I could call or text her if I wanted to. So I text her a couple days later and we grab pizza and watch a movie. Well be both had fun and were flirting with each other the whole time and when I dropped her off she said she had fun and gave me a hug then went inside. Well we go out again a week later went mini golfing and watched a movie had fun again, and this time there was a lot more arms around each other holding hands that stuff, but I haven't kissed her yet still. So the next week I take her to a party with our other friends, but didn't really talk to her, and I got drunk so she had someone else take her home. I texted her one time after that, and then didn't talk to her for about a month. So I see her again a month later at a hangout with our mutual friends and she tries talking to me, but I was busy talking to my other friends that were there, even though they told me to go talk to her because she was shooting me looks and flirting with me and watching me the whole night. Well then another guy I know who was there starts talking to her and they wind up making out in his car later,but I didn't care. This time another month and a half goes by without me talking to her and I see her again at our lifeguard class we have to take before we work at the theme park for the summer. Again she starts talking to me and I'm starting to like her again so were talking and hanging out for the two days the class lasts, and we go out to lunch with each other both days. At lunch I brought up the Fast and the Furious movie and she said she wanted to watch it and that she would go with me and that it was a date, and i asked if she was serious and she smiled and said yes so I was like ok will go on Friday because the movie opened the next week. Well in the week before we were suppose to watch the movie she changed her myspace status to in a relationship and her mood to loved. I didn't talk to her before that so I thought she had found someone else so I was disappointed and didn't talk to her and didn't ask her to the movie. A couple of days after I was suppose to ask her out she changed her status back to single and her mood to something else. Yet again another month goes by without me talking to her, but I see her again last Friday at work while I'm setting up before the summer because she had to drop off some paperwork. I text her and tell her that I saw her and asks whats up. We get to talking again and wind up going to watch a movie that night. So I pick her up and were talking having fun and during the movie she grabs my hand and holds it the whole time and then I put my arm around her and she didn't mind. So after the movie I drop her back off at home and she said she had fun and to call her and gave me a hug and went inside. I probably should have made a move and kissed her, but I'm thinking things are still good because I like this girl and she likes me. So today I text and talk to her for the first time since Friday and we text back and forth for a little bit just about what we were doing and what we've been up to. I check my myspace later and she did the same thing she did last time and changed her status to in a relationship, her mood to loved, and where her name goes (lets say her name is A) she put "A is taken!". All this happened today after I texted her. Honestly right now I'm confused on what to do. I really like this girl, and I think she likes me, but I don't know if the whole myspace thing is because of me or if she's seeing someone else. If she is seeing someone I really don't want to talk her anymore so I can just get over it and move on. So should I just ask her about it?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Uhhh...I don't think she's seeing anybody else. It sounds to me like she wants insta-relationship (with YOU). I think you have to decide if that's something that appeals to you, or not. I say ignore Myspace, keep dating the girl, see what happens. Myspace and Facebook have caused so many freaking relationship problems, it's ridiculous.
MissHollywood Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 sj9ers, I know what you mean. I once saw photos posted of a guy and his female friend or SO or whatever and I backed off. I didn't bother to find out. I'm not suggesting that because you and the girl clearly click and there's a possibility of something nice coming out of it. Talk to her and find out.
Author sj9ers Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 I wouldn't mind having a relationship with the girl because I like her, but I just want to know whats up with the myspace thing because the only time we kissed or did anything was on New Years, and I find it kind of weird that she put all that stuff up about being in a relationship if its about me and the last time she did it she didn't even try contacting me after. Or maybe shes just trying to drop a hint?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 maybe shes just trying to drop a hint? :laugh: I love how clueless guys are. LOL You both sound young. And while that kind of behavior (what she's doing) would be downright weird and stalkerish at my age (29), it's part of the learning process when you're younger. Damn, I would never have been that obvious. But does she KNOW that you look at her Myspace page? Also - how old are you two?
era Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Oh, how very highschool.. Yes, she's talking about YOU on myspace. You say you wouldn't mind having a relationship with this girl, but you already have had loads of opportunity..why now?...and what exactly happened on New Year's - did you have sex?
MichiganMan222 Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Geez, just make a reference to her 'boyfriend' and when she acts surprised and says there isn't one, just explain you presumed that because of the status. She will say something to the effect of "I set it to that to keep guys off my back". Either that or she really has a boyfriend. At least you'll know.
IcemanJB Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 OBVIOUSLY she's doing that stuff on myspace because she knows you look at it. I wish the girls I dated made it that freaking clear in the beginning. You should have made your move a long time ago. I'd say you're running out of time, so the next time you're with her, you should probably at least kiss her. IMO, her changing her status is a bit weird and creepy, but maybe she's young and stuff. Let us know how it goes.
Author sj9ers Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 Well she is 18 turning 19 in August so I don't if I would exactly consider her young and immature. I'm 20 and the only reason I looked at her page was because she changed her profile pic, but ya I should have made a move a long time ago lol. So maybe ask her out this weekend and see if she accepts?
IcemanJB Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Well she is 18 turning 19 in August so I don't if I would exactly consider her young and immature. I'm 20 and the only reason I looked at her page was because she changed her profile pic, but ya I should have made a move a long time ago lol. So maybe ask her out this weekend and see if she accepts? Trust me, 18/19 is still VERY young. I've dated girls 19/20 that act like they're 15 at times. For sure, go get dinner or something with her.
dreamergrl Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 ohh to be young again Nah I hated being that age. OP, you had a few opportunities to talk to her in all these in between times. Why didn't you go for it? Cut to the chase with her. Skip pass all the back and forth crap!
Author sj9ers Posted May 8, 2009 Author Posted May 8, 2009 Well I texted her and asked her if she had any plans tonight and she said no then I asked her if she wanted to hang out later and she said that she just gonna stay home tonight then I told her ok ttyl and she said ok. Should I leave it up to her to talk to me now? I'm going to see her in a week again at work most likely and I don't want to really talk to her if is with someone else.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Dude, are you serious? You ask her to "hang out" on the same day? How about planning ahead and asking her to "go out?" "Hanging out" is something buddies do...or SOs. This is still new. I would have told you "no," too.
Author sj9ers Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 Update: So a couple of weeks after this I find out from one of my friends that she was in fact talking to another guy starting in April and because of this I didn't say a word to her and her myspace status is still the same and says in a relationship. Well she comes into the waterpark to hang out with her friend while I'm life guarding and starts talking to me and flirting with me so I tell her that I get off early and that I would come join them to hang out, and our mutual friend also comes along. My friend who is also good friends with her asks me why I'm not going out with her because he thinks she likes me, but I tell him she has a boyfriend, but he says he already knows that. So were hanging out and she's still flirting with me and I just go along with it and eventually while me, her, and our friend are in line he asks her how things are with her bf. She says they're "okay" and says that he's in prison and he just texted her one night saying that he's going to jail till October and not to party, or go out with anybody else, and that she also hasn't heard from him since. So I hear this and stand there kind of shocked and my friend is also surprised and asks her why she's still with him and why not just dump him for somebody else (meaning me) because he's obviously bad news. She responded that she would if something better came along. Well since then we've been working together and I've seen her almost everyday and she always comes to talk to me at work, sits really close to me, hugs me, brushes against me touches me all that stuff. Last Friday night I picked her up to go watch a movie with a bunch of our friends, but we couldn't get in because it was sold out so we watched a horror movie instead and she asked if she could could hold my hand if she got scared and I said sure so she held my hand the whole movie and during one part when the boyfriend was talking about how much he loved his gf she started rubbing my hand back and forth with her fingers like she was trying to hint at something? Well after the movie I wanted to grab some food because I was hungry and decided to take it to go and eat it at the park. So I take her to a spot in the park that I know that overlooks the city and we talked for about an hour and head back to the car to talk some more because some other people came to where we were. So in the car we talk for a little bit and I know she wanted me to kiss her, and me and her even got in the back seat. I wanted to kiss her but I knew she had a bf and I got around it and we just laid in the back with my arms around her for about half an hour talking and I took her home, and she slept with her head on my shoulder on the ride home. Well this past Tuesday me and her hangout again at the beach/bonfire with our friends and there she also spent a lot of time with me talking and sitting next to me and i gave her my sweater when it got cold and she called me cute, and walked along the beach by ourselves and stuff like that. So I guess now I'm asking how should I handle this situation? I'm really starting to like this girl but I don't know what the situation is with her and her "bf" since she never brings it up, but according to her myspace she's in love with him and I really don't want to fall into the dreaded friend zone if I wind up never kissing her or anything.
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