Behrman Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Okay, well myself and my girlfriend have been together for about a month, and I want it to last a lot longer because I truly like her and I want to love her as well... but she's been acting odd as of late. When we were first together it was amazing; we'd go out of our way to be together, skip classes, face punishment, it didn't matter, as long as we were together. We'd both ditch our friends a lot too. Since two days ago, however, it's been different. The Saturday before it started was Homecoming, and we had a great time. We ended up sleeping together, but no sex or anything, just making out. I didn't talk to her after Sunday morning when we said goodbye. The next day, it started getting bad. I would go to see her, and we'd be together for about a minute. But then she'd just leave without saying anything with some of her friends for one reason or another... nothing that couldn't wait to even say goodbye though. Then during lunch, I'd usually go with her to the library to help her out with homework or just talk. A minute after we got there and sat down, she left and sat with one of her friends without even saying anything. Then I finally get a chance to talk to her after school... so I do. She says she needs to see the guidence counsler, so I say ok and Ill be right where I am now when your done. I dont see her again the rest of the day... and that night I talked to her friend and her friend told me that the guidence counsler wasnt there so she just left after checking... why she didnt come back to me I do not know. Then the next day, I didnt even see her before homeroom... I still dont know where she was. And after school, when I went to see her, she said hi to me then left with her friend to go to Burger King before her swim meet. If it was a week ago she would of at least asked me to come along. I dont get why everythings changed so fast. I talk to her friends.... and they say that my girlfriends happier then shed ever been about us, but in my eyes actions speak louder than words. I really dont want to end it, because I really liked how we were just three days ago. I cant talk to her about it, because shes grounded from the phone and the internet, and whenever I get a chance to in school, she leaves, like I already said. I dont want to end us, so I need advice on how to handle this. Should I just let it keep going this way and eventually fix itself? Should I just end it? Should I tell her I need to talk to her in school before she gives me a reason for leaving? Is it just a phase that will blow over? I really need help because this girl is amazing when shes at her best, and I dont want to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 How old are you two? Do you even know if she LIKES you? It sure as hell doesn't sound like it. Maybe she was just having some fun with you. Link to post Share on other sites
TheDonny Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 There is probably an underlying reason to her odd behavior. Confront her, and ask her if something is wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Behrman Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 UCFKevin, yes, she does like me. If you failed to read correctly, this just started happening in the past three days. And Im 17 and shes 16... fine so were young, big deal, we can still have feelings. And she does like me, we were crazy about each other up until three days ago when Im thinking the problem started. And yes, Im planning on confronting her... I do agree theres some reason... but I would appericate some more advice. Link to post Share on other sites
JustDunno Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Sorry to say but to me it looks like she just can't tell you that she doesnt want this relationship anymore with you. She probably doesnt want to hurt you so she think you will take the hint and she wont have to confront you and tell you face to face. I know very well walking away for you would be very hard to do but you should, at least for a while. Let her do her own thing and you do yours. Dont let her know that you are all upset over it as I have in my past which only hurt me and the situation. The more she thinks you dont care, believe it or not, she mighttttt start to think about things and either come to you or just leave things alone that will be better on both of you in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 hmm..lol. i think you must again identify x. i trust your observations of events before three days ago; you simply do not have access to some vital information that would render her behaviour rational and understandable. a narrative essay, and sometimes a case study, is organized as such: person before event/influence/trigger X x person after x if she does not tell you what is happened, she will eventually become your 'x', if you'll pardon the pun. she will be the event that hurt and confused you and caused to act dysfunctionally. i think it's cool what you've got going, i sense you love her. but do think about how much fun it might be to *not* have to do this every few months. the thing about people with problems is that they have problems, as diotic as that sounds. problems allow you access you into her mind but not access to fix them. she has problems. it's up to you to identify which one this is so you do not take it personally. xoxo j Link to post Share on other sites
The Velvet Vixen Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Originally posted by Behrman The Saturday before it started was Homecoming, and we had a great time. We ended up sleeping together, but no sex or anything, just making out. I didn't talk to her after Sunday morning when we said goodbye. The next day, it started getting bad. The fact that your GF started to back off just when the two of you were getting closer emotionally and more physically intimate tells me that she thought the relationship was moving too fast, too soon. It scared her, hence she felt the need to put some distance between you and herself for a while. Give her some time and space and try to be patient with her, and she will come around eventually. When you do get the chance to talk to her, reassure her that you want to take things slowly because you really like her and want this relationship to last. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Behrman Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 Wow last time I post a problem on here.... your answers confused me more than the problem did. Emphasis on DID, everythings ok now... all of a sudden she seems to like me more then she ever has. It's weird. But I still wanted to know what the problem was so Im just going to ask her when I get the chance... and yes, this is the last time I'm posting anything advice-wise on here because if I'd of listened then I probably wouldn't be with her anymore. Whew, too confusing for me.... I guess it's just because I couldn't give enough backup information or anything so you guys couldn't see the whole picture. Oh well, guess these boards aren't for everyones problems. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 o, babies, don't say that. of course you are going to do as you see fit. we are just working from the information provided and our experiences. the idea is to take it all, decide what fits, and reject the rest. i hope you do keep posting and helping people. cheers, j Link to post Share on other sites
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