wierdmunky Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 How do I let go of anger? I've been resentful of my parents for years. It has got in the way of me being happy and just accepting everything. I have felt like she treats all of us kids differently because of what we choose to do with our futures. They are sometimes inconsistent which bothers me to no end, because they expect complete respect. I notice just the way she talks to us, and it irritates me and adds to how I feel. I go back and forth with feeling that I should deserve to feel equal, and I should just ignore it. I don't know to do both. I get jealous and confused when I see other families operate totally different from mine. Well after writing this, I know I should just NOT care, and that there are some things that I'll just never be able to understand, but I know I'll just forget when I get angry, and the resentment builds. I also think it could be a reflection of myself, but I don't even know how to be anymore.
1bee Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 i feel the same way with my family. i know it's hard but i think most parents will treat their kids differently according to their behavior. they may say we love you all equally but it's really not the case. i'm not saying they don't love you. parents love their children of course but there are different levels of love. for example, i know my parents love me but i'm considered the "loser" of the family while my brother is considered the more successful one. i didn't go to college after high school and decided to go into the military. after 6 months it didn't work out and so i came home and a year later i went to a community college. i got my associate recently and i still don't know what i'm doing and i'm going back to college in the fall to go after a bachelors. now my brother is graduating high school next month and got accepted into an engineering college and will be going away this fall. he is very social and good at networking, completely opposite of me. i'm just a social retard. occassionally my mom will remind me that i'm a loser and other times she'll actually act like a supporting parent. it's crazy. but my point is, if you live with your parents still, it's hard to forgive them. i think it's easier to forgive them once you're out of the house and on your own.
Author wierdmunky Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 i feel the same way with my family. i know it's hard but i think most parents will treat their kids differently according to their behavior. they may say we love you all equally but it's really not the case. i'm not saying they don't love you. parents love their children of course but there are different levels of love. for example, i know my parents love me but i'm considered the "loser" of the family while my brother is considered the more successful one. i didn't go to college after high school and decided to go into the military. after 6 months it didn't work out and so i came home and a year later i went to a community college. i got my associate recently and i still don't know what i'm doing and i'm going back to college in the fall to go after a bachelors. now my brother is graduating high school next month and got accepted into an engineering college and will be going away this fall. he is very social and good at networking, completely opposite of me. i'm just a social retard. occassionally my mom will remind me that i'm a loser and other times she'll actually act like a supporting parent. it's crazy. but my point is, if you live with your parents still, it's hard to forgive them. i think it's easier to forgive them once you're out of the house and on your own. I agree.. Well thats good you have your AA, your ahead of me, and I wouldn't consider anyone trying in life a loser. I have a plan, and I know what I want to do, but my parents just don't believe me or believe in me. My sister will be graduating with a BA in nursing probably in 1-2 years, and I just think it is literally easier for her to concentrate and focus because my mom doesn't hold ANY pressure on her to perform. (Other than she's filipino and she has to ) She also doesn't live here, she lives in florida so all she has to worry is school and studying. I hear constant complaining from her about LIFE in general, blames, guilt trips (my brother/dad), American society, etc... its like they don't listen or they forget 2 days later when I tell them things too. I really have to tell them more than twice. It wouldn't be a problem if their attitude was just different. I also don't think they give one iota for my feelings. I've told them before how I feel about telling them things that 1) are of juicy content and don't go with their diarrhea mouth and 2) my plans - I didn't want to say where I wanted to transfer until I was just a little closer to actually transferring. The thing that bothers me too is that they are really disinterested in what I want to do, and are alllll about nursing. I feel like I'm always fighting for my dignity in any kind of argument because they sound like they think less of me like I don't know anything or something. I read, I keep up, take care of myself, and am not oblivious. I am really trying and my mom always seems to put a wet towel on everything, but once my sister calls to say hello she's as sweet as sugar. Drives me crazy!
1bee Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 seems to me your parents don't appreciate you because they see you constantly more so than your sister. am i right? when you go away, it just clears the plate with parents. it's happened to me. when i was away for six months my parents missed me and acted like i could do no wrong. then when i returned and didn't know what i wanted to do with my life they started treating me like a child again. i don't think you should care anymore about how they see you because you just won't be able to change that right now. you won't get the respect or understanding you want until you're out of the house or on your own. since your sister is far away, of course they're not going to nitpick things about her since they miss her. also it would seem like she's making more progress than you since she's away and they don't see her. it's a weird phenomena but it's just the way it is. it's best to let the things they say roll off your shoulders and not argue with them. i'm in the same situation right now. let them feel how they feel but know in your heart that you are just as important as your sister. i also sometimes feel my parents don't support me. actually they never show it or say it and at one point said they didn't care what i did anymore. but just keep moving forward despite not having parents that show support. find comfort in your friends. sometimes you just have to be reminded that someone cares. "i believe in you.' are powerful words. and if no one else is there to believe in you, believe in yourself.
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