heartbroken720 Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 This is my venting out....He moved out Saturday and I saw him for the first time on Monday in 3 weeks!...I met him at the pool hall to get money for the bills since he stayed at my house more than me during April...hey atleast he paid... I had to tell myself how to walk when I showed up and he told me I looked good and to take care...weird...the only hard part is the fact I have our dogs..he will be taking them but since they are pitt bulls it is hard to find a place that will accept them..so that is probably going to be a couple months of torture waiting for him to come and take them away from me...I would love to keep them but I will not fight him for them...I just want to let go cuz I am hoping it will be easier... I feel like I have been doing better but today I was thinking...silly me...thinking about our past and I feel like I have been thrown away I cannot believe after 5 1/2 years this is how it all ends... I can't help but to think he is at the pool hall or bar and he is hooking up every night!!!! I want these thoughts to STOP but I can't help it...during our relationship I know he never messed around on me but now that we are broken up my mind is driving me CRAZY!!! Again I got ditched because he wants to go out and have fun!! Not that I stopped him...when he didn't have money I would give him some so he could go out and play...I supported him in everything he wanted to do! I just don't know what to do with myself...I want to call him but I know I need to leave him alone...he said he needs to find himself...wtf...I need to find myself I changed so much to accomidate him I gave everything I had and he tells me after 5 1/2 years he could not tell me why he wanted to marry me!!!! We were suppose to be married May 16th!!!! He told me during our "closure" call that he saw a man at the bar in his 50's and the man was never married and had no kids...he said he thought to himself that would not be bad because he loves kids and he loves women so if he was alone he would be content..becuase he would be able to live his life!!! Then why in the hell did he waste so many years of my life!! I am going to be 28 I was planning a life and family with him and he went along with it!! Then I got ditched cuz of him wanting to play (pool, poker, fishing...) I just feel so worthless right now!! Sorry I just had to vent for a minute and it is good therapy to write...any opinions or thought are welcome.. Thanks
Scorpio13c Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Sorry for your pain Heartbroken, I'll I can say is that a lot of men, possibly including myself, don't find any benefit to getting married these days. He is young i assume, such as yourself? You'll find another man before you know it, one who wants the same as you, marriage & all! All my best for you! Scorp
Flying Burrito Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Give this dude zero sympathy or attention. Seriously, this is a situation where no contact WILL help you heal faster. This guy isn't going to come around. Its cold comfort now but any guy who who left you AND his dog is a guy you're better off without. Its pretty simple, a normal guy takes his dog.
Author heartbroken720 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 He's 26 and he didn't take the dogs cuz he moved in with a buddy of his that is going through a divorce...the wedding was planned invitations sent and everything...why couldn't he just let me know he did not want to get married!! Only reason I was pushing for it is because I have put everything....everything in my name and I wanted it to be ours!! I hope he leaves the girls with me I love them so much but I know even though he is out right now he is probably missing them not me!!
Scorpio13c Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Heart, 5-1/2 years wow! I think that he just isn't ready for marriage, unfortunatley he got cold feet.. Did you pressure him for marriage?
Biggie25x Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 He abandoned both of you for his own selfish needs. Ask me how I know that in the long run you're better without him. He is a very selfish person and they can't be reasoned with. They don't care. They don't see the situation from anyone's point of view but theirs. They might say they do but they can never cross the line of true understanding. You ARE better off without him. He is immature and childlike. The next woman for him will get the same treatment in the long run. While some guys or gals don't see any benefit in marriage anymore, there are a TON and I mean TON that do. Just look on this forum and you will find some. These are guys that truly want the closeness that comes from a lofelong commitment. You will find that person if you try. But first you need to let this one go. It sounds like he's a looser and doesn't deserve someone like you.
Flying Burrito Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 You can likely count on keeping "the girls". And don't fall into the mindset of wondering if you pushed him marriage or anything else. Leaving his dogs says a lot more about the person this man is than him leaving you. Biggie is right in saying he abandoned both of you for his own selfish needs. This is the real man surfacing now and it doesn't have anything to do with you. This is all on him and it could take years or never before he treats someone better.
Author heartbroken720 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 In a way I guess I did when we first got together I told him we should get engaged after 4 yrs and then married by 5 and he agreed...well we made it to that point and I told him if he did not propose by 5 yrs then I am out...and I told him that was wrong of me and that is why I gave him his ring back...everybody is telling me I should have kept it but I decided it was not right...he put a lot of effort into the proposal and it was 1 of the greatest weekends of my life.. I just can't believe that it is all ending like this..my family agrees that yes he is selfish but I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! I sit and think what would happen if he came back what I would do... I took care of all of the finances he had no clue..he gave me a certain amount of money a week and that was the end of his worries... I wanted to make our house a HOME and asked for him to help me and he would agree and then do the complete opposite. I am just so tired and weak right now I took down the pictures of us and but it is still so hard...he plays pool at the pool hall right down the road from me so when I drive by I see his truck and it is sheer torture! I try to avoid it but it is the way I am so accustomed to taking and by the time I remember I can't just turn around...I will be finding another route... That is another thing he hangs out at this place a lot and he is just so close to me yet I cannot go to see him... He is probably hooking up with the waitresses there they were always flirty...my brother said that is how they get tips and I giving him more credit than deserved but still I cannot help but to think of the comment he loves women...THEN WHY DIDN'T HE LOVE THIS WOMAN!!
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