bluewolf17 Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 So I have posted on here a few times about my ex boyfriend of 3.5 years. We broke up just a little over two months ago. First I broke up with him in a screaming fight, and he begged me back. I gave us a week of "space" then met up with him. Told him I made a mistake, but he said he doesn't know if he wants to try again. I asked him if he still loved me, and he said he doesn't know. We went NC for 3 weeks. Then he contacts me the day before I leave for Vegas. We have a great long talk. He says he misses me. He asks if we can "start talking" again. I said yes. Only because I want to reconcile. So we have talked, not everyday, but every few days. We have gone out 3 times now, and had great times. He really seems like he misses me, and I miss him, but we haven't been physical. I asked him if we were heading towards a reconcile. He said he has thought about it. I told him I am not intersted in being friends. I told him I am not interested in talking to ease the pain, but to get back together, he says he wouldn't do that to me, and that's not what we are doing. I believe him, he's a genuine guy. BUT today I realized it's me always waiting for his calls, jumping when the phone rings, excited to see him (and he says he's excited to see me too). We have a play to go to this Friday, but I have mixed feelings. I know I am putting a lot of weight on how the night goes. I texted him today, wishing him a good day, and asking if he wanted to meet up for a drink after class. He says maybe, but he has a ton of work (which to me, means no). Today I wrote myself a long email. I told myself that I have to stop this. That no amount of having fun, or reaching out to him, will make him want me, if he doesn't. I don't want to look back, and feel emberessed or ashamed of how I acted after the break up. I don't want him to have to eventually tell me that it's not going to happen. After this Friday, I am done. I love him so much, but being on this forumn made me see a lot. That all I am doing is spreading out my hurt. If I had just stayed NC, I might be in a better place now. I really thought he wanted to reconcile, but it's been two months! We haven't kissed, he hasn't made a move. All he does is tell me I look pretty, ask me if I am dating anyone (we both aren't) and then crack jokes about our breakup, and act like it's no big deal. But it is. Obviously he has a head start on healing, and I need to accept it, and move on. Sorry for the long rant. I am so happy I found this forum of great people going through the hurt like me, and I hope everyone here finds strenght, and love again.
LadyV Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 BUT today I realized it's me always waiting for his calls, jumping when the phone rings, excited to see him (and he says he's excited to see me too). We have a play to go to this Friday, but I have mixed feelings. I know I am putting a lot of weight on how the night goes. I texted him today, wishing him a good day, and asking if he wanted to meet up for a drink after class. He says maybe, but he has a ton of work (which to me, means no). Today I wrote myself a long email. I told myself that I have to stop this. That no amount of having fun, or reaching out to him, will make him want me, if he doesn't. I don't want to look back, and feel emberessed or ashamed of how I acted after the break up. I don't want him to have to eventually tell me that it's not going to happen. After this Friday, I am done. I love him so much, but being on this forumn made me see a lot. That all I am doing is spreading out my hurt. If I had just stayed NC, I might be in a better place now. I really thought he wanted to reconcile, but it's been two months! We haven't kissed, he hasn't made a move. All he does is tell me I look pretty, ask me if I am dating anyone (we both aren't) and then crack jokes about our breakup, and act like it's no big deal. But it is. Obviously he has a head start on healing, and I need to accept it, and move on. Sorry for the long rant. I am so happy I found this forum of great people going through the hurt like me, and I hope everyone here finds strenght, and love again. I totally understand where you are coming from, Although I was not with my XBF for as long as you were, you have much more time invested in the relationship. It is hard to walk away. I know what you are saying about waiting for him to contact you. My XBF and I were so back an forth, that we set up a pattern, or cycle...I too realized that is no way to live. Mine told me exactly what you are afraid of hearing...that we will never be, and he realizes more and more that there is no future for us, although he still wanted to be friends with me. And even sleep with me with NO expectations...He said he worried about me...worried I will get the wrong idea and although I did tell him I was okay with it and I accept how things are, I was WRONG...boy, was I wrong...I was doing with the hopes of getting him back...he himself said that it won't happen. But yet, I still allowed myself to be with him intimatly. Now I'm regreting it. I went NC 3 days ago. Blocked his number though my cell phone company. I can't receive calls or texts from him. Call me drastic, but like you, I didn't want to be sitting around "waiting" for the inevitable text..."I miss you..." Or "How are you today?" I can't do it to myself. I know now for sure he can't contact me and it makes it much easier. I blocked FB too, and he can't see me...I also went as far as blocked the girl he was talking to...I had to do it because it hurt too much to see what was going on between them, the comments and so forth, and the Anticipation they both were feeling to finally be going on a date...which was today according to their status. I haven't even checked and wont..... I agree with you, this site has been wonderful for me. I am reading and getting good advice as well as learning I am not alone...there are so many here who offer the best advice ever... Hang in there hon!
See_ya_on_the_flip Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Hi Sounds like you've been through the ringer, sorry. I just broke one week of NC tonight and she didn't even answer the phone (No VM either.....) she did just email me this today, as a women, what do you think? "Any chance that we could maintain some kind of relationship Do miss speaking with you."
smookie Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I would email her back and ask her what kind of relationship she is wanting and expecting. You did try and reach out to her and she did not answer??? I am wondering though your past with her and why you broke up? How long you were together things like that.
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