8 years, and now this! (Warning, long post)

[Dan83]

Hello everyone...

 

So me and my Fiancee have been together for almost 8yrs, and living together for about 7. We are both 26, she is one month older than me. I recently proposed to her this past Christmas Eve. We've had a great relationship for the most part. Except for 2yrs ago, she up and left me out of the blue, said she needed space or something. But we remained friends, and a few months later got back together. It's been great ever since, until now.

 

Back in Febuary, we had got into a fight about bills, and about a recent lack of intimacy on her part. We are both stubborn people, so neither one of us likes to let things go easily, or so I thought. I'll admit, I was distant, snippy, and annoyed for a good few weeks. It wasn't constant, we had our nice moments, but I didn't really want to talk much about anything, just kind of worked, came home, talked a little, rinse and repeat. Maybe I got a small case of cold feet due to the argument, i'm not sure. But whatever the case, it didn't last long (3 weeks vs 8yrs doesn't seem long to me). Things started to get a little better, she even gave me a B-Day card on March 17th where she wrote how much she loved me, how she loves me more and more everyday, how she's so happy to be engaged to me and can't wait to start a family. Well....2 weeks after my B-day, I find out she has been cheating on me, while we were engaged no less.

 

Around that time, my B-Day, she started acting strange. The weekend after my B-day she went out on Friday night, stayed out all night and didn't come home until the wee hours of the morning. Then she woke up, immediately took a shower and got pretty, and did the same thing Saturday, then the same thing Sunday. She had told me that Friday she was with a gf from work, that Saturday she was with her sister, and that Sunday she was with her parents. At that point I really had no reason not to trust her, so I said ok and moved on. Well the next weekend comes, and she does the same exact thing as the weekend before. I work second shift, so Friday night I got home around 9pm and she was not here, and didn't show up till the wee hours of the morning again. And saturday, the same thing. This time asked her what's going on, she insisted she's just going over her sisters again like last saturday. Well I said ok, I tell her how pretty she looks, and that I hope she has a good day. I don't see her again until about 3am. The next day, same thing. I figure ok, whatever, she just's taking some space or something.

 

So Monday (April 6th) when I got home from work, I come home to find her secretly texting someone. As soon as I walk in I see her hide her phone. I don't think much of it at the time, but then a little bit later it happens again. This time she is in the bedroom, I walk in, and she stuff the phone under the covers. She denies it of course, but I know what I saw. I'm annoyed now, and want to just get out of the house for a minute to cool off. Well I go out to my truck, but come back in because I forgot my keys. This time she is on the couch, actually on the phone talking to someone, but hides the phone and stops talking right when I walk in. At first she says she's not talking to anyone, then she says she's talking to her sister, so I know something is up, I have a feeling she is not telling me the truth. She wouldn't admit to anything though, so I just left and went for a drive. When I come home, I go in the bedroom and again, she is on the phone, and hides it when she saw me coming. At this point, I have a gut feeling something is very out of place, obviously. She just continues to lie, say she's not using the phone, etc. So I go sit in my living room and watch tv and try to relax, try to not say anything stupid. The thought of her hiding the phone on me is really bothering me though, so I did something that was wrong, but I did it anyway. I waited for her to fall asleep, then I grabbed her phone which she had laying on her stomach like she had tried to protect it, or fell asleep using it, etc. I walk out into my living room and sit down on my couch, nervous as hell as to what I may find on this phone. Well.....My fears become reality, she indeed was talking to someone else. I found over 100 text messeges on her phone to some other guy. Even them sending pictures back and fourth. Very intimate conversations as well, even down to her saying that she can't wait to cuddle up and kiss on him, and that she wants to do naughty things to him. And then I see a messege from him asking her If "he" (me) knows yet, so obviously she's talking about me to this ****ing piece of ****. I then read one text that talks about love, and something about how she thought she was in love, but wasn't.......I read all of these texts, over and over, sitting there in disbelief, shock, watching my whole world and everything I have worked so hard for come crashing down before my eyes. It was the asbolute worst feeling I could ever imagine, I seriously wanted to just die at that moment. The woman I love, the woman I had just asked to marry me 3 months ago, the woman I wanted to have children with and spend the rest of my life with, is giving her affection to someone else. It was seriously almost to much to handle.

 

So she wakes up while i'm out looking through her phone and catches me. She just blows up at me, yelling at me, telling me how wrong and disrespectful it was to go looking through her phone, calling me names, etc. I told her I had to look, and I'm glad I did or who knows how long you would of been hiding this from me. She just continues to yell at me and twist everything around on me, trying to make me look like the bad guy it seemed. Then she just goes in our room and goes to bed. I follow her in there, because I am the type of person that has to get things off my chest right away. She wouldn't talk to me much at all, but she did say that they did not have sex, but that they have been cuddling and kissing, and that they have only been hanging out for the past 2 weekends. I then ask who this person is but she will not tell me, she ended up slipping though and telling me that it was someone from work, a guy that she has worked with for over a year and a half. At that point, I was just like wow, she said it has only been two weekends, but now I really have no idea because she obviously has no problem being dishonest with me. I asked her what has been doing out alllll weekend with the person, she wouldn't tell me, but then just said.."oh, we just drove around and talked" ......Ummm yeah sure, bull**** (that's how i feel). Then she just tells me to leave her alone because she has to work in the morning, I continue to try and talk, but it does not work and she just completely ignores me. So I go out in my living room, sit there and just cry to myself, just amazed at how she could do this to me, and just turn into this different person so quicly and with no warning.

 

The next day I call my boss at work and ask him if I can take the rest of the week off, I just really couldn't handle anything at that point. Lucily my boss and I get along and let me take all the days I needed, I just used some vacation days since I have 4 weeks. Anyway, that was cool of him.

 

So when she comes home that next day, she is shocked and annoyed that I am home. Apparently I must have ruined her plans or something. We argue for a bit, then she stops talking for a couple of hours. Then finally sits down with me and decides to talk a bit. All though I was the one talking, and I really could not get anything from her. I asked why, no answer, I asked her if she is going to continue seeing this guy, no answer, then I ask her what she wants, again no answer. So I keep telling her how I feel, and then ask her again, what she wants to do, if she's going to continue seeing this guy or if she want's to work things out. All she would say to me is that she doesn't think we are going to work out and that it's been a long time coming. I was like wtf!!!! A long time coming? We just got engaged, you accepted my proposal, you were so happy, you just gave me a B-day card confessing your love for me and how excited you are, how the **** has it been a long time coming?....Of course I got no answer to this either. I asked her if she ever loved me, why she accepted my proposal, if she ever really wanted to marry me. She said yes, she loves me, she wanted to marry me, but doesn't think it's going to work out....So we get into a little on and off fight for a few weeks, and she just decides to throw away 8yrs, throw away what we had together, just completely crush my soul and cheat on her fiancee. She didn't say much at all.

 

So the next couple days I start packing my stuff, she looked shocked when she came home from work and saw all my stuff packed up. She's says "what are you doing", ummm i'm leaving. I try talking to her again, but still nothing. Then we finally sit down again later on that evening, but it's just to talk about bills, what's hers, what's mine, what we need to do, etc. And in the middle of this conversation she gets a text and just gets up and leaves. I was just like wow, you can't even sit here with me and go over all these things, you just have to up and leave? Of course she just defends herself and says she can do what she want, and then leaves. The next day I moved all my stuff out, moved it all in to storage, had nowhere to say but was just going to sleep in my truck until I found a place. Then she tells me she's moving in with her parents because she can't afford our apt alone. So i said to myself, well wtf, I shouldn't have to lose my home....So I talk to my landlord and tell him I'm staying, and he actually lowers the rent for me a little bit to help out, wicked nice of him by the way! So the weekend comes again, and she goes out all weekend again. During that time I moved all my stuff back in. When she came home Sunday night, she said she'd be out by the end of the week, that she was moving out on Friday April 17th. That was a week from hell, having to see her everynight, trying to talk to her a little but getting nothing in return. Trying to wrap my head around what has happened. She just refused to talk about the relationship, and even refused to talk about bills we needed to take care of and discuss. And what was worse, was that she continued to text this guy, and talk to this guy on the phone, in my home, right in front of me! I just couldn't believe how cold, heartless, and disrespectful she was being to me. I gave this damn girl my 8yrs of my life, my heart and soul, I always did anything I could for her to make her and us happy. And this is what she does to me. I just can't figure out what I did so wrong, how someone can go from wanting everything with me, to nothing at all and just throws it all away, an so quickly! This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my whole life. Everything I do, everywhere I go, everyone I see, reminds me of her. We did everything together, everything! I just feel so empty and hopeless, so lost, hurt, angry, sad, confused, shocked etc...This girl just really crushed my soul, and seems to have no care in the world about it.

 

So Friday the April 17th comes, she's planning on getting all of her stuff out after work and then leaving for good. So that morning, I took the house keys off of her keychain, just in case. When she finds out I did this, she blows up at me, and has the nerve to say to me "what...you don't trust me...you have to take the keys?". I was just like omg, is this girl really saying I should trust her, omg! And you know, through all this I tried to remain civil, of course I blew up myself and got angry here and there, which I think was well within my right. But the closer it got to the day she was moving, the more civil and friendly I tried to be. I didn't want to end 8yrs with so much anger, so even considering what she did to me, I tried to remain civil.

 

So she moved out, and we only talked a few times since then. I swear it hurt even more once she was gone and I was alone. This is the first time I have ever lived by myself in my whole life, and it's just so hard right now. I made the mistake of sending her a couple of emails just laying out down to the detail about how I felt about her, the situation, and past, and everything. I got an email back, but it was only about bills and about her picking up her mail and some plants she left. She didn't even acknowledge the emails, I spilled my heart and soul, but got absolutey nothing. All she said was yes, I read your emails, that's it. I wasn't expecting her to come running back, because after how she treated me, I didn't want that (well part of me did of course). But I expected something, some kind of remorse, some kind of reaction, some kind of apology for hurting me so badly, something at least...but got nothing.

 

Then she calls me, while i'm working no less, last week on Thursday April 29th. But she had only called to talk about bills, which should have already been talked about in my mind. She was telling me that my truck payment was due. I have a truck that I owe $29,000 on because I am stupidly upside down. All though the truck is not in my name, it's in her name because my credit is not good enough for an auto loan, not even with a cosigner. So I tell her that I can't pay the truck payment this month because hello..you left me...I have to pay the rent by myself, all the bills, by food, etc. She told me she'll call the bank and figure something out, payment plan or something, and that she'd call me back. Well she called back the next day, and asked me if she could come over Saturday morning at 8am to get her mail, her plants, and to talk about everything. I said ok, and she said she'd call me when she was on her way.

 

Well that saturday (April 29th) morning comes, 8am comes, and no call, no show. Then about an hour later, she is knocking at my door. I answer it and she has a big mean looking smile on her face, she says "i'm here with a Uhaul truck, and my father and uncle are outside waiting to help me take the living room set and TV." I was like wow, are you kidding me? We have a nice living room set, and a beatiful 52" LCD TV. I paid for most of the TV, and paid for half of the living room set. But they are in her name, and she said because they are in her name and she still has to pay, she's taking it all. So basically she just blindsided me, lied to me about why she was coming over. I then call some of my family to come over, since she has her family with her, I wanted some backup because I felt very uncomfortable. While I was waiting for my family to get here, I told her fine, take the living room set, and then just leave. So she get's all that loaded up, and then goes for the TV. I had to put my foot down there, I said "no! I paid for most of this TV, and you are not taking it unless you give me some money" She didn't like that at all, started yelling and screaming, my family showed up, and she continued yelling and screaming, calling me names, etc. I just couldn't believe this was the same girl I spent 8yrs of my life with, I felt like I didn't know her at all. Once my family got there, she was still yelling and screaming. Even disrespecting my Mother, who mind you has treated this girl like a daughter, treated her better than her own mother has ever treated her. Sooo I just go fed up, and told her to leave my home, but she wouldn't. She said "I'm not leaving without that TV". I told her again that she needs to leave, or I'll have no choice but to call the police and have them escort you out. Then she says "oh yeah, i'm calling the cops right now and they will help me get my TV". Honestly I kind of laughed at her when she said that, because it's pretty stupid of her to think that the police will help. Well she called, the police came, and they said that she had no right to be here. That the TV is not a matter of law, but that it's a civil matter and if she want's it she has to take me to court. The girl blew up, getting angry, the police kept telling her to leave and she just kept talking, I could tell they were getting annoyed with her. But finally her father said lets go to her, and the police gave her one last warning to leave before they took action. As they are getting into the Uhaul truck, her dad says to me with a sad voice...."Dan....Take care bud". I respected that of him, because me and him always got along great. Then I hear her say to her dad "don't ****ing talk to him"....and those were the last words I have heard from her mouth. She didn't even take what she came for (the mail and plants), she just wanted to clean me out I guess. Why she she wants to just continue hurting me over and over in anyway she can I just do not understand. I'm no angel of course, but i've treated this woman like a princess, like she was the only woman in the world. I wanted to marry her, have kids, have a family, we had so many plans for the future, this just all came as such a shock and I still can't believe it all happened, and so quickly at that. I thought she was the sweetest, kindest, most loyal woman who I have ever met, which were big reasons why I love her and why I proposed to her. It hurts so bad to know I was wrong, to know that I wasted 8yrs of my life on someone that I'm not even sure ever really cared.

 

I haven't talked to her since that horrible day that she blindsided me again. And honestly, after what she pulled, I don't even want to see her ever again. Of course I do wish none of this happened, because I love this damn girl more than anything in the world, but that's life I guess...

 

The only problem now is the truck I have that's in her name. I pay $525 a month, not including insurance, and I can't afford it now that i'm on my own. $29,000 of debt, and it's not even in my name. If I keep this truck I will not even be able to afford to eat. I also have an empty living room, and will never be able to afford to get living room set or even a couch if I keep it. It sucks because I love this truck, I put a lot of hard work and money into it already and don't wanna give it up. I also don't want to be that kind of person, I don't want to screw her over and make her take it back, I don't want to stick her with it out of vengence. But then again, she has been so horrible to me, I want to cut all ties which obviously she seems to want to do as well. I just don't think I could deal with paying for this thing for the next 5yrs, helping out her credit, having to deal with her about it, having to deal with her about insurance, etc...It will do nothing for me If I keep it since my name is not on it at all. And then I think well...look at what she has already done to me, and what she has taken from me..... what if I keep this truck, pay on it for years, and then one day she decides she wants it. The things in her name so I'd have no leg to stand on, and I'd lose all the money I have already put in, and would put in in the future if I keep it. I hate this, I mean legally I am not bound to this truck, the $29,000 debt is all her, it's in her name, my name is nowhere to be found on the paper work. And I love the thing, but I cannot afford it, I know I can't. But also, like I said above, I don't want to be a piece of **** and stick her with it either.....But I don't know, I might not have a choice, and it may be stupid of me to soak up all this debt for her with what she did to me. The girl came here and took my whole living room because it was "in her name". Well the truck is in her name too, so even though I don't wanna be that person, a big part of me wants to say screw it and give it back to her somehow, say here, this is in your name too, good luck. I also don't want to contact her either, which is another thing, I don't even know how i'd give it back. Maybe just park it in front of her house and take off, I don't know.

 

I've been trying to move on, to deal with this very messy breakup, everyday is just a huge struggle for me. When I first found out, I couldn't eat or sleep for the first week, took time off work, was just a complete mess. I thought at the very least we could end it civil and somewhat friendly, I was willing to do that given our history, even considering what she has done to me. But I guess she doesn't have enough respect for that. I hate to say it but she really made me feel worthless, like I don't matter at all. She was my life, everything I did, I did for her and us. It's so devestating to see everything i've built iand worked so hard for in the past 8yrs just vanish into thin air. I can't even get any closure, which hurts so bad. I thought she was my soulmate, and to get crushed by the person you love, and the person you thought loved you just as much, is just so damn hard. I can't shake all these feelings, I just constantly wonder what I did that was so bad, what I did to make her want to leave, what I should of or could of done differently. We were newly engaged, we seemed very happy, she seemed very happy, I just cannot wrap my head around this. As much as I try not to think about it, I can't help it, it's driving me crazy. I know I have to move on, I just don't know how, I feel like my world has stopped spinning...

 

 

 

Thank you all for reading this, I'm sorry that it's so long, but it was very nice to vent, so thank you.

 

Sincerely,

Dan

[GorillaTheater]

Facts are facts: you can't maintain payments on the truck. You can't even sell it. So let it go.

 

Being an evil bastard, I would do so gleefully just to stick it to the ex, but you don't have to go there. You have solid, practical reasons for not being able to maintain payments. I'm sorry about the money you have in it (and I'm MUCH more sorry about the hell you've been through), but I'm not seeing another option.

[Trojan John]

Do yourself a favour and objectively re-read your post a couple of times, then be glad that she's gone. These are the actions of someone who claims to love you? Now that you know her real self, could you imagine being married to her?

 

Zero respect, and a complete connasse. Move swiftly into the anger phase, get rid of the expenses that you can't handle alone, and burn every memory that you have of her. Oh, and cut her off completely. It will do you no good to stay in contact with her for whatever the reason.

 

Consider it a learning experience.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Dear Dan,

 

reading this story made me angry and I don't even know her. She is a sorry excuse for a woman and for a human being. I fully understand how you must be feeling. You were the victim of a bloody freak! Do not blame yourself for her. She must have been very good at hiding her obvious mental problems. To treat someone so cruelly, whether you are or are not together, is COMPLETELY inhumane, borderline sociopathic. She even embarrassed herself in front of her family and the police. Maniac. 8 years is a lot of time. It can't be erased or wiped clean. I guess the person you knew has become a stranger. Its not BECAUSE of you though, its because of her. Maybe she grew complacent with you, maybe you were 'too nice'. The point is, you shouldn't need to become a P*i*k to keep hold of her. I can understand the pain you are feeling - mine was 2 years, but still dumped me with vacation plans, my bday, exams and a health problem - felt so betrayed. I am here if you would like to talk on here or in a message. I really feel for this story. You sound like a lovely man.

 

Please promise not to stop treating girls like princesses just because this one proved she wasn't a princess at all.......but a cruel b****. You are a much better person than she is. In all your suffering, take comfort from your own goodness. You aren't a doormat or a bad guy. You are a good person. She does not deserve you anyway. At least you do not need to go through the pains of divorce. You are lucky you caught her at this stage.

[Miguelrg]

I can't offer much advice but just know your not alone...

 

I see where your coming from and i guess you can never really know someone when they change and just continue to hurt you even though they've almost already killed you

 

No contact as always and stay strong...

 

Take care

[Excellent]

Christ, this is one of the worst stories i've read so far in here..

 

It's hard for me to even comprehend that there are people out there, with absolutely no remorse and with such imense cruelty in them. Your ex is the worst kind. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be in, and i feel real sorry for you.

 

Well, she is a cheater, and she hooked up with a guy who gladly accepts a cheater. Perfect match.

 

Loved the part where she tried to turn it against you when you found out, thats priceless. No dignity at all in that one.

 

Stay strong dude! 8 years is a long time, but you'll eventually move on too. LS is here to support you, we never cheat in here!

[PuzzledHeart]

Wow, and i thought I was miserable....Jesus Christ!

 

I'm dealing with a break-up atm where i broke it off but i feel crumby. I still care for my girl as well, and it kind of ended mutually. We talk here and there still but she still needs her space and I'm doing my best to give it to her. I really hate to see yours end in such a way where you have absolutely no control at all. You seem like the kinda guy I am. Do anything in the world for said person but in the end, us guys always seemed to get F'ed. I really hope the best for you buddy, and I can tell your the same way as me...We got a big heart and want to share it with people. We just gotta find the right girl i guess.

 

Stay strong bud, and If i were you I would dump that car just like you said. Right in front of her house. Don't leave a note, she doesn't deserve a note. I would save up your money and buy a cheap bargain car. Even if you want that truck, even if you did pay it off....she seems like the kind of bitch that would want it back after you fully paid it off. She tried to take the whole living room set because it was in HER name. F that, Dump the truck.

 

Good Luck Bud, I Truly Wish The Best For You.

[Athena]

A woman who cheats on a man she is engaged to and been with for 8 years and then lies about coming over to pick up her pot plants and shows up with a truck and hands to move furniture and a TV that she hasn't discussed with you, is SURELY capable of screwing you over on your truck...

 

You can let her have her truck back. When you have enough money, go to a store and buy a living room set cash...

Find out how to set about improving your credit history.

 

Do NOT trust her at all, ever again, and certainly not with the truck... let her have it back... it's not about you not being a nice guy and not paying it off... now that you do not have a fiance in her, and no trust, and the truck is in her name, you can be sure she will screw you over, so the best thing to do is to let her have the vehicle she is paying for now... and that is another reason to go NC.

As for her mail, you can fwd it to her parents address.

Don't have anything more to do with her, for your own mental health... she certainly showed her true colors to you...

[contax]

Dan, sounds like you've been through alot. Get your hands off truck!

Can't she sell it?

 

My ex acted the same way - strange durring the last days.

 

It's challenging getting thourgh and will take time. Put you first!

Love yourself and enjoy the single life! Heal your self.

Be happy. Happiness is the best revenge.

 

Even her Dad is ashamed of her. I respect you. Not her.

[Dan83]

Thanks for the kind words and support everyone..

 

This is still very tough for me. Though I've had some better days at the end of this week where I haven't thought about everything all day long. When I start thinking and getting sad, I try to just get angry instead of sad, or I'll try to just think about something else completely. I know what she did to me was utterly horrible, and I try not to have any sympathy for her at all, because I know she does not deserve it, or anything for that matter.

 

This morning I have this feeling like I'm more sad about having to give up my beautiful beloved truck, rather than being sad about her......That's good right?...

 

I think i'll be alright, it's been about 5 weeks since I found out, and 3 weeks since she moved out and I've been living alone. Get's just a little easier everyday, and I'm starting to enjoy certain things about living alone. I know I'll have my ups and downs for sure, but it's nice to have these moments where everything seems like it will be alright.

 

And I have decided to just let go of that truck, I can't really afford it, and I don't want to take the chance of having it taken away from me one day because she decides out of the blue she wants it. This is certainly hard for me, because as I've said I love this thing. But I have a chance to get away from $29,000 of debt, and with good reasons. Plus this truck is now our only tie to one another, so given all that it might be stupid not to let it go.

 

Thanks again everyone, it's nice to know there are some good people left in this world!

 

Sincerely

Dan

[mark982]

there are all kind of ways to "do" away with your truck problem, while sticking her w/ the payment. just use youe head. you can believe she will come after the truck when you're almost do paying for it.

[Dan83]

there are all kind of ways to "do" away with your truck problem, while sticking her w/ the payment. just use youe head. you can believe she will come after the truck when you're almost do paying for it.

 

I haven't really thought of too many ways to "do" away with my truck problem as of yet to be honest. I still have it, I know I need to do something, just not sure how I'm going to go about it.

[GorillaTheater]

I haven't really thought of too many ways to "do" away with my truck problem as of yet to be honest. I still have it, I know I need to do something, just not sure how I'm going to go about it.

 

I like the idea of simply parking it in front of her house, and maybe leaving the keys in her mailbox.

 

Does she have a birthday coming up soon?

[Dan83]

So the ex calls me up this past Friday. Haven't talk to her since May 2nd when she came and blindsided me by taking my living room. I was doing better, no contact seemed to be making things easier to deal with. I had the night off from work, just hanging out, certainly didn't wanna talk to her so I ignore the call. Then about an hour later, she's knocking at my door. She's here to pick up the truck (it's in her name). I asked her if she'd wait till the next day so I could have my wheels and tires switched out. She says no, insists on taking it then and there. Of course I was like to hell with this, she's not driving away with my almost $2,000 set of wheels and tires, I'll never see them again. So then she seems to calm down for a bit, like she's gonna leave and just wait one day so I can get that done. But then I get tricked, she asks me if she can use my bathroom really quick before she leaves. I hesitate for a bit, but then give in (stupid move on my part). And what does this girl do?...After she got out of the bathroom, she literally ran over to my keys and grabbed them. I was just like wow, holy ****! Keep in mind I had my house keys and work keys on this key chain as well. So I run over and try to grab them from her hands. We both hold on to them for a few minutes, But then she starts saying "you're hurting me". So at this point I felt like she was trying to set me up for domestic charges or something, So I backed off. My truck keys came off in her hand, but all my other keys came off in mine. So I had to run outside, hop in my truck, and continue telling her she's not taking it. Then she has her new little BF walk up my driveway to try and help her, well that doesn't work either, just pisses me off more. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to get out of that truck and just destroy this guy, since he was coming onto my driveway. But that's what she wanted, had I got out of that truck, she'd of hopped in it and been gone....with my wheels and tires, and whatever else I had on and in the truck.

 

So anyway, her new bf got a little shook up, wouldn't come anywhere near me, and then starts siding with me trying to get my ex to just leave and wait till I get done what I need to get done with the truck. Then I told her she can pick it up the next morning. Which is what ends up happening, they left, she chucked the keys at me, she was pissed (good!). So the next day, once I got my things off of it, made her sweat a bit. Her and her new bf wanted to meet me at the tireshop at 9am. Well I had it done at 8am, because I needed a way to get my custom wheels and tires home. So then she calls me, I ignore a few calls but then finally answer. She's angry that I wasn't at the tireshop at 9am...Oh well, I owe her nothing, I'm doing this on my terms now. I told her this, and then she tells me to meet her at shaws, because she wants me to hand the keys over personally. I said yeah sure I'll call you back in a little bit. I had no intentions of meeting her by the way, why would I do that, so she could rub everything in my face one last time, I don't think so. So I call her back, I tell her that it's parked on the street in front of my house, and that I left the keys in it. I then told her to just come get it, and to make sure she never calls me, never emails me, never comes to my house, never contacts me, and I never want to see or hear from her ever again! So she comes, I snatch a couple pictures of her getting in it and driving it away (just in case), and I watched it roll away forever. But hell, I just watched $29,000 of debt (stupidly upside down), and a $525 a month truck payment (not including insurance) disappear too! Along with the woman I once loved who I now see as a horrible excuse for a human being (though I do still love her, I don't know why, and it sucks). So that is a very good for me. I've only had this truck a year, I've put a lot of money and work into it, so it sucks losing all of that. But it feels very good to lose $29,000 of debt, that's for sure. And hopefully now she will stop blindsiding me and trying to hurt me even more. I just really hope I never have to hear from her again now. Because It really sucks to start to get over things a bit, and then have her just show up and stir it all up again, I can't take it anymore. Why this girl want's to continue to hurt me, and rub things in my face, and just be so cruel, I have no idea. All I wanted was to make her happy when we were together,to be her husband, raise a family, etc......But I'll find someone better for that someday I hope.

 

So pretty much I found out on April 6 that she was cheating, that's when this mess started. Then she moved out on april 17th, came back and blindsided me on May 2nd, then came back and blindsided me again on May 22/23. I had no contact at all with her between May 2nd and May 22/23. So It sucks to have to start over with no contact after a solid few weeks. But I think it's finally over, I think I can finally move on without worrying about her trying to hurt me more, at least I hope!

[GorillaTheater]

This woman is as close to a cast-iron bitch as any I've run across or heard of. At least you have no more reason to deal with her on any level. Pity the guy she has now and allow time and NC to heal you.

 

There's something to be said for seeing the more horrible facets of life; it makes you appreciate the good things all the more. Hang in there Dan, and keep posting. Peace, bro.

 

Oh, and it has to be a big relief to get out from under those payments, even if under sh*tty circumstances.

[CaliGuy]

A. Be glad you are rid of her. Sheesh.

B. Find a roomate if you can to help you split the bills (keeps ya company too).

C. Get a cheap set of wheels for now.

 

Man, I know it's hard now but you'll meet someone soon who will knock your socks off and you'll be extremely happy that you're stuck in a relationship with that woman any longer.

 

You did pretty good for yourself. Dunno why she is so vindictive but rest assured, you reap what you sow. She is going to get what she deserves.

 

PS: How cheesy is it that she brings her new BF over. If I was in his shoes I would tell her "It's your problem, YOU take care of it..."

[mark982]

if the insurance is in your name better cancel it.

[Dan83]

I still can't believe she actually brought her new BF with her. She probably just did it to rub it in my face, since she is a heartless bitch. I still wish I would of hopped out of that truck and kicked the **** out of that guy. But I know it was for the best that I didn't. Plus she would of just hopped in the truck had I hopped out and then she would of been gone with the truck and everything I had on and in it. But still, I find myself going over that afternoon in my head, wishing I would of hopped out of that truck, wishing I would of knocked that guy out.

 

Luckily I was not the account holder on the insurance, so I don't have to worry about that. And I'm extremely grateful because a family member of mine insisted on giving me one of their older vehicles. So I may not have my beautiful truck, but I still have a way to get from point A to point B, which is what really matters.

 

I don't know, I guess I'll never understand why she has done what she has done, and why she has acted so unexcusably rotten. A little respect would of went a long way. Had she just sat down and talked with me before all of this, we could of ended it without a big mess. But I'm glad I found out she had this in her before we got married and had kids. Good riddance.

 

I know I'll get over this whole thing, and to be honest I started feeling quite a bit better with the last stretch of no contact. But having her come here and stir things up, again, kind of dragged me back a little. But I'll I know I'll be fine, one day I'll find a woman who is honest and loyal, someone with morals and values who could never dream of being so cruel.

 

 

 

Thanks again everyone for all your support, suggestions, advice and comments. Definitely a bunch of good people here.....

[CaliGuy]

I still can't believe she actually brought her new BF with her. She probably just did it to rub it in my face, since she is a heartless bitch. I still wish I would of hopped out of that truck and kicked the **** out of that guy. But I know it was for the best that I didn't. Plus she would of just hopped in the truck had I hopped out and then she would of been gone with the truck and everything I had on and in it. But still, I find myself going over that afternoon in my head, wishing I would of hopped out of that truck, wishing I would of knocked that guy out.

 

Luckily I was not the account holder on the insurance, so I don't have to worry about that. And I'm extremely grateful because a family member of mine insisted on giving me one of their older vehicles. So I may not have my beautiful truck, but I still have a way to get from point A to point B, which is what really matters.

 

I don't know, I guess I'll never understand why she has done what she has done, and why she has acted so unexcusably rotten. A little respect would of went a long way. Had she just sat down and talked with me before all of this, we could of ended it without a big mess. But I'm glad I found out she had this in her before we got married and had kids. Good riddance.

 

I know I'll get over this whole thing, and to be honest I started feeling quite a bit better with the last stretch of no contact. But having her come here and stir things up, again, kind of dragged me back a little. But I'll I know I'll be fine, one day I'll find a woman who is honest and loyal, someone with morals and values who could never dream of being so cruel.

 

 

 

Thanks again everyone for all your support, suggestions, advice and comments. Definitely a bunch of good people here.....

 

Dude, mark my words: One day she's going to come poking around to see what you're up to. She is going to regret the decisions that she made. Eight years is a long time to throw away, which is exactly what she did.

 

Try not to spend too much time grieving over the loss of that heartless b*tch! Instead, focus on your newfound FREEDOM! You are free to do what you want, hang out with who you want and DATE who you want.

 

You know that I think? I think you're going to find someone 1000 times better for you when you're finished grieving over this realtionship. You're already doing a lot better than most of us, who came here in utter shambles.... (and I was one of the worst!).

[SilverLining]

Dan, I totally understand what you are going through when it comes to a sig other who seemed so wonderful, someone you wanted to marry and have children with, and then that person turns on you. I too was cheated on - although he says it never got physical, still when he's going over to her place and sending her emails about wanting to date her...yeah. And we were engaged when he simply dropped me. But I kept going back, kept letting him use me even when I knew he wasn't a good person. It's just that...how you reconcile what seems to be two completely different people? How can you wrap your head around the idea that someone you thought you knew so well...obviously had some serious character flaws that you never even dreamed were there? I too did everything I could for this person and would have walked through fire for him, but there you go. You are obviously a good person, obviously someone who is willing to do a lot for someone you love. And someone with a good head on his shoulders. You will do just fine, someday this will be a story you will tell your buddies and future wife and you will laugh about it. I'm waiting for that day myself! Just remember that there are others here dealing with these situations too, you are not alone, and that we are all rooting for you.

[Echo009]

Wow, that's a rough time. Your situation is very similar to mine, both young, both never actually lived alone, both around 8 years. But sorry to say even though I did marry her and have kids... your story made me feel better. Wow... if she acted anything like your ex, I may have lost it completely and be in some sort of institution right now.

 

I hope things get better for you, take care.