MeaganRaye Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 If you had a friend who got more attention than you from the opposite sex when you go out, would you still hang around them? Particularly if you are single and looking.. I would find it very annoying, and would pick places where the opposite sex is least likely to be when we hang out together. Especially being single and looking for a longterm relationship, I would feel that she would be blocking potential opportunities for me to find a boyfriend. Or, I'd be hurt if a guy I liked, was interested in her. And I don't think I would have a good time if all the attention was being on the friend, and none of it was directed towards me. I'd feel pretty miserable. Men can be very insensitive the way they'd totally ignore you, and not include you in the conversation when they are hitting on your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
bean1 Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Well, perhaps you should only hang out with ugly girls then? Just kidding... or maybe I'm not. Link to post Share on other sites
IcemanJB Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Well here's a male's perspective. I have a friend like this. Although he's got a gf now, I remember when he and I would be out and he would get more attention than I would. Honestly I didn't have a problem with is since he's my FRIEND, and would do all that I could to help him out, even if that meant bugging out and letting him do his thing. It's really not a big deal. He's a lot more forward and talkative than I am. On MANY occasions I've heard from him "so and so's friend thinks you're cute. Want me to try and get her over here?" I don't expect him to do this, but I'm sure he's doing it since I'm never a cockblocker with him. Maybe try to be happy for your FRIEND, help her out. Who knows, she could go out of her way to return the favor down the road. Also just because guys aren't chasing after you doesn't mean they wouldn't be interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Also just because guys aren't chasing after you doesn't mean they wouldn't be interested. Well, it's pretty pointless because how else are they supposed to let you know they are interested? I just find it annoying, when a friend and I are hanging out, and some guy interrupts the time we are spending together to "kick game" to a friend of mine, without introducing himelf to the both of us, and ignoring me. I'm just standing there, like the odd girl out. I notice guys approach more when they see two girls together, opposed to one, and when they do, it's irritating, especially when they are not gentleman about it at all Link to post Share on other sites
JeezLouise Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Have you tried any self improvement things? Going for a make-over? Hair colour and style? How do you dress - does it need updating? But most importantly, how is your attitude? Are you fun to be around? Positive? Happy? Those are the things that catch (and keep) a man's attention. If you give off a sense of being angry or ticked that she gets faster initial attention, it makes you look bad even at second glance. Are you desperate to find a man to talk to when you go out? Or are you content to say hi and then focus your attention on your friends? Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Well here's a male's perspective. I have a friend like this. Although he's got a gf now, I remember when he and I would be out and he would get more attention than I would. Honestly I didn't have a problem with is since he's my FRIEND, and would do all that I could to help him out, even if that meant bugging out and letting him do his thing. It's really not a big deal. He's a lot more forward and talkative than I am. On MANY occasions I've heard from him "so and so's friend thinks you're cute. Want me to try and get her over here?" I don't expect him to do this, but I'm sure he's doing it since I'm never a cockblocker with him. Maybe try to be happy for your FRIEND, help her out. Who knows, she could go out of her way to return the favor down the road. Also just because guys aren't chasing after you doesn't mean they wouldn't be interested. Yeah but you see, guys are helpful and kind to their dude friends, whereas certain girls like MeaganRaye lack the capacity to feel happy for anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
SushiX Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 There have been many many times where I find the cute quiet girl to be much more attractive then the "hot" one. It doesn't matter how pretty your friend is, theres plenty, I mean plenty of guys who will like you over her especially if you have a great personality! I guaranteed it! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Yeah but you see, guys are helpful and kind to their dude friends, whereas certain girls like MeaganRaye lack the capacity to feel happy for anyone. MeaganRaye, are you related to Cutegirl? Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Oh really, looking for a LTR? Are you a troll? You've been posting about MM, SugarDaddies, and such nonsense, how do you expect us to have sympathy for the fact that you want a steady BF? Link to post Share on other sites
Lindarose84 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 While the PC thing to say is to be happy for your friends, it's human nature to feel a tinge of jealousy especially when you're a single girl and are looking. Even the friendliest of girl friends can get a bit jealous of the other from time to time. My best friend has a GREAT body. Mine is good too but not on her level. So yes I get jealous but at the same time, I voice that to her saying, "Wow you have an amazing body, I would kill to look like that." Maybe that is the route you should take rather than not hanging out with your friend. That would make you a pretty crappy person and "friend". If you tell your friend maybe in a joking fashion like "hey share the wealth, I need a guy too" maybe your friend would be a little more proactive in involving you in the conversation with these guys so it's not so awkward for you. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Maybe try to be happy for your FRIEND, help her out. wow, what a ground-breaking idea Link to post Share on other sites
IcemanJB Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 There have been many many times where I find the cute quiet girl to be much more attractive then the "hot" one. It doesn't matter how pretty your friend is, theres plenty, I mean plenty of guys who will like you over her especially if you have a great personality! I guaranteed it! This is so true of me. I am always FAR more attracted to the awkward, kind of shy, cute one; vs the very forward, "hot" one. Cute wins over hot any day of the week. If that makes any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
JustLooking123 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Different strokes for different folks. Some guys will be into the more attention-grabbing, traditionally "hot" female, whereas some will be into more laid-back or girl-next-door types. Don't begrudge her the attention she gets; work on liking yourself and figuring out what you are looking for in a man and in a relationship, and the rest will fall into place when the time is right. Link to post Share on other sites
MissHollywood Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Meaganraye, do you have more than one friend to hang out with? You can alternate hanging out with them and that might make you feel better on some days? Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 If you get annoyed because of the lack of attention, it won't get you attention. The annoyance doesn't tell guys "talk to me", it tells guys "get the **** away from me because I do not want to meet you." If you still have fun (or at least don't have a visible negative response) despite some guy chatting up your friend, you'll attract more interest and be much more approachable. Link to post Share on other sites
JeezLouise Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 How old are you, too? Sometimes younger women are more insecure in their own skin, so they tend to over-analyze how much attention they are or are not getting. Link to post Share on other sites
MN randomguy Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Meagan, You just want attention, period. It would help to think about how shallow you are. I want a sugar daddy. I want a boy friend. I want a wedding ring so that I won't feel left out. I want all of the guys to pay attention to me when I'm with my friend. Next time you see a guy you're attracted to try thinking of someone else for a change. Think, I'm glad he's not in a relationship with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesweb Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 If you had a friend who got more attention than you from the opposite sex when you go out, would you still hang around them? Particularly if you are single and looking.. I would find it very annoying, and would pick places where the opposite sex is least likely to be when we hang out together. Especially being single and looking for a longterm relationship, I would feel that she would be blocking potential opportunities for me to find a boyfriend. Or, I'd be hurt if a guy I liked, was interested in her. And I don't think I would have a good time if all the attention was being on the friend, and none of it was directed towards me. I'd feel pretty miserable. Men can be very insensitive the way they'd totally ignore you, and not include you in the conversation when they are hitting on your friend. Dating situation can prove to be a hell like scene for the shy people. Simply working up courage to first ask out a person you are interested in can be a bit stressful on par with other things that the shy people can undertake in their lifetime. Dates can prove to be the main source of depression and stress for even a gregarious and fun loving person. But for those, who are shy, the whole situation is ten times worse than the outgoing person Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 8, 2009 Author Share Posted May 8, 2009 How old are you, too? Sometimes younger women are more insecure in their own skin, so they tend to over-analyze how much attention they are or are not getting. I'm 22. It was a hypothetical question, I was wondering if other posters here felt the same way or similar Link to post Share on other sites
missdependant Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Never cared. I've always been the shy one in my group of friends anyway. I have really loud friends who obviously do want attention and even when I was single it never bothered me. If I felt the need to fight for attention or couldn't bare to not be the center of attention, wouldn't that make me an attention whore too? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I'm 22. It was a hypothetical question, I was wondering if other posters here felt the same way or similar Really? It was hypothetical? I can't imagine ever feeling that way, even with my more "gifted" friends, so why would this even cross your mind hypothetically? Link to post Share on other sites
stefspets Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Anyone who is secure in themself isn't going to be insanely jealous of a friend's ability to attract the opposite sex. Probably because a secure person will find it pretty easy to attract people so they won't be thinking about their friend like that. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 People who get attention aren't necessarily "attention whores." Someone who is attractive and confident is going to get more attention than someone who doesn't take care of themselves and sits with their head down and shoulders hunched. It's that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
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