Ruby Slippers Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 I tend to generate a lot of female attention... that doesn't mean I have problems making a commitment. Date men that you are attracted to... don't go for the ugly ones because they make you feel safe. I have never dated anyone I wasn't attracted to, but in my experience, the more conventionally attractive guys seem to have the most "commitment issues". The guy who was the most gorgeous to me (though probably considered average by most) also happened to be the one who seemed most devoted to me.
Meaplus3 Posted May 9, 2009 Posted May 9, 2009 Thanks all, lots of great advice here...and the biggest takeaway is being confident...That will be my focal point for myself, and getting to know who she is. We are going to have a great time on Sunday! YES. You will have a great time. Just be the great guy that you are. Mea:)
Author gopher Posted May 9, 2009 Author Posted May 9, 2009 YES. You will have a great time. Just be the great guy that you are. Mea:) Aw, thanks Mea, you are too sweet.
Author gopher Posted May 9, 2009 Author Posted May 9, 2009 The plan is that we are meeting at a Starbuck's and then going for a walk afterwards...Her suggestion...sounds good to me.
Meaplus3 Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Aw, thanks Mea, you are too sweet. The plan is that we are meeting at a Starbuck's and then going for a walk afterwards...Her suggestion...sounds good to me. Thanks Gopher. Your plan sounds good. Just watch out for coffee shops. Don't order a Latte. Mea;)
Author gopher Posted May 10, 2009 Author Posted May 10, 2009 Update* Just got home from my first meeting with "Jen"...We met at Starbuck's and then went for a walk along a river....She was very good looking, but oddly enough, not in a way that intimidated me. We spent about 2 hours walking, and talked about anything and everything....We laughed, and were serious. It was just a good, normal first meeting....I was totally just myself, no pretense at all....I felt like she was the same. Afterward, I asked her if I could see her again, she yes, and we planned a date for next Saturday night. I also asked her if I could hug her, since I typically am pretty cautious about physical contact the first couple dates. She gave me a nice, long hug...All in all, a very nice first meeting/date whatever you want to call it. The best first such event I've had in a while. She told me a story about a guy she dated 5 times who after every date asked "where they stood"....he totally over analyzed every date with her. So, as we were parting she told me not to overanalyse between dates and I jokingly asked her where we stood.:lmao: She has been divorced 5 months after being separated for a year. She fully admitted that she doesn't want to just date one person at this point...while I admitted that I have a tough time dating multiple women. In the past if I liked someone, I'd be concerned she was dating multiple people, but now....it really doesn't matter. If, I'm the one, she'll figure that out and if she is, I'll figure that out too, no pressure....It feels great to let go of expectations....
ScopiaZ Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Gopher, Don't sell yourself so short; it may surprise you, but a lot of attractive girls who are truly genuine individuals valued personality more than looks. If you're true to yourself and let your personality shine... she may fall for you before she actually sees you.
Meaplus3 Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Update* Just got home from my first meeting with "Jen"...We met at Starbuck's and then went for a walk along a river....She was very good looking, but oddly enough, not in a way that intimidated me. We spent about 2 hours walking, and talked about anything and everything....We laughed, and were serious. It was just a good, normal first meeting....I was totally just myself, no pretense at all....I felt like she was the same. Afterward, I asked her if I could see her again, she yes, and we planned a date for next Saturday night. I also asked her if I could hug her, since I typically am pretty cautious about physical contact the first couple dates. She gave me a nice, long hug...All in all, a very nice first meeting/date whatever you want to call it. The best first such event I've had in a while. She told me a story about a guy she dated 5 times who after every date asked "where they stood"....he totally over analyzed every date with her. So, as we were parting she told me not to overanalyse between dates and I jokingly asked her where we stood.:lmao: She has been divorced 5 months after being separated for a year. She fully admitted that she doesn't want to just date one person at this point...while I admitted that I have a tough time dating multiple women. In the past if I liked someone, I'd be concerned she was dating multiple people, but now....it really doesn't matter. If, I'm the one, she'll figure that out and if she is, I'll figure that out too, no pressure....It feels great to let go of expectations.... Good for you my friend! Now, just be yourself and take it slow.. you know what to do. Mea:)
Author gopher Posted May 17, 2009 Author Posted May 17, 2009 An update....We've talked on the phone a few times since the date, great conversations, we both enjoy talking to each other. We had planned date 2 for tonight, but she ended up watching her nieces and nephew for the night...She was very grateful that I understood. We haven't scheduled date 2 yet, but, I've thrown out ideas like baseball games and working out together, both of which she says we need to do together....She always takes time to write me, and we exchange at least one email per day. The last thing she said to me after our date was not to overanalyse, I guess that's happened to her before. I'm trying really hard not to overthink anything, but that's been my downfall in the past with women I've liked. But, with only a couple weeks of contact, one date and a half dozen phone calls, there shouldn't be enough for me to over think. Plus, I'm on guard against it this time.
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